life after (or near the end) of weight loss

how do you deal with still feeling like you still weigh a lot?  how do you deal with feeling like when people are looking at you, they still see the former (physical) version of yourself?  i realize that the weight is just the beginning of it, that all of the other issues are still there, but this has been a real problem for me.  i still don't feel healthy.  i still feel like the same 257 pound girl who had no idea how to deal with herself and with life.  i'm coming to the end of this.  i'm meeting with a plastic surgeon in a couple of weeks to talk about a tummy tuck and potential breast lift.  but i just have this dreadful feeling...like i'm still this person who isn't to be taken seriously.  like i'm still trying to make jokes and have the attention taken off of my fat.   sorry about the babbling.  i'm just in a bad place right now. 

I dont have an answer for you.  I have NEVER been thin...  LOL but I want to congratulate you on you loss!  WOW

I'm in Viola's boat, but from what I hear, it's another one of life's "fake it 'til you make it" kinda deals. You just act like you think a person your size SHOULD act, and the emotions catch up with you later somehow. Also, instead of seeing it as an end, maybe its stage 1 of a continuum, you know? Now it's maintaining time, which I am told has special challenges of its own. Here's wishing you the strength to persevere!

Girl, I don't really know either. Granted I'm not at goal weight like you, but have lost 42 lbs. People who haven't seen me in awhile comment that I look wonderful and I politely smile and say thanks, but on the inside I'm thinking, "are you crazy? I'm still a fat mess!" I'm struggling with this too. If I can figure it out, I'll let you know and if you figure it out, let me know ok? LOL  Good job on the weight loss! That is so awesome!

some of it gets easier with time, some of it doesn't. i just moved to a new place, so that helps because ZERO people here knew me when i was fat. it has been easier to create a "new" life in some ways. i have gone out to meet some random peple from meetup.com which was weird but i was able to do it. my 3 years in DC - all as a "average" size person - even though i belonged to some random groups, i never went to anything. while i love DC, its very associated with my 280 lb high school self. its takes a long time for your brain to catch up with the reality of "passing" for normal. i'm not sure it ever will completely, but it gets easier. i've been about the same weight (within 10 lbs) for over 4 years. plastic surgery has helped a little bit but not really. you are left with huge surgical scars rather than the scars of being fat (flabby, loose skin/stretch marks). PS can also really bring out the perfectionistic side. not only do i want to be thin, but i want to be perfect and have a flat stomach and perfect perky boobs like barbie - when i reality, no one looks like that - even people who have never been overweight. a lot of times, PS can make the body image issues even worse. take your time, go to lots of consults, do LOTS of research (let me know if you want to see pics). its dangerous waters and you need to tread carefully. get support from people in similar cir****tances (which is difficult, because there are not a ton of people who have lost a lot of weight and successfully maintained it for more than a few months). i would definitely recommend therapy to work on some of the self-esteem and self-concept issues. not that anyone should listen to me anyway, i am also in an awful place (as far as weight stuff goes)....feel free to write me if you want to talk more.

Years ago I lost a lot of weight.  I didn't really think about the things you are.  I just had a problem when I started gaining it back and then dealing with those comments.  I am confident that this won't be a problem for you.  I wouldn't care if they still saw you as your former self.  The longer you maintain your weight a lot of those things will lessen. After all, the people that care about you are really the only ones that matter.  I just wish I had your problem. Great job! Brenda  

Therapy.... These are interpersonal issues that will not go away until you allow yourself to put them to rest, and trust me, there is a reason you have not put them to rest.... It's you being hard on yourself, which is hard for alot of people to kick.... Therapy helps, and if you have access to it, and you feel like you would be open to the experience, I would  recommend giving it a try.

For me it is still difficult with weight issues and how I see myself. Not really seeing myself but I still feel like I did 80lbs and over 2yrs ago. I did have WLS=Lap Band Surgery with the Band being taken out after complications 6/07. Since June I have lost the weight from being so sick and IV weight from the hospital and a few more pounds but I will tell you that I have gotten to within 5lbs of goal weight which is just the high range of the chart for my age and height and this is the hardest part of my healthy Journey. I get that close and make excuses not to workout, work more at work (on a 14day work day stretch now) eat without thinking and remembering what or when. I changed my job managing a Operating Room 3 days before I had emergency surgery for a severe Band Slippage because I was under so much stress and knew it wasnt good for my health. I now am a PAT Co-Oridinator at a Surgery Center and guess what stress is stress but my cell doesnt ring when I leave and no I am not oncall for emergencies because the Surgery Center is closed. It is me that has weight issues and food issues. I have seen a Counselor for years that helps me remember that I need to do for ''ME'' but since changing jobs I wont have insurance until the 1st of the month again. Guess what tho. Without insurance for 3 months I was healthy as a horse. Why because I had to take care of me because I couldnt afford not too. That being said I will continue to work on me at staying healthy and if I lose an ounce a week or dont lose hey how do I feel, am I back on insulin, what is my blood pressure and do I have to go back on medications. I also went to a Plastic Surgeon  and know what to say to get approval  Ie;document rashes, take pictures, infections document etc. and know that is not the root of my Journey it is that I have to learn to just be happy being Healthy. Now when I complain how my pants feel and realize that a few years ago I would of gave my 1st born son (not literally but  LOL) to even be able to buy clothes in Old Navy let alone a Size 10 low rise pants. Be satisfied with ME and  Good Health as I HAVE to remember daily, sometimes hourly and sometimes more then that.

I think for me it's not a matter of still feeling fat.  I actually feel great.  I never realized how big I was I guess, even though i had gotten to 350+ pounds   Now I feel like I am in my normal body. 

However, I do look in the mirror sometimes and I am overcritical of the bits of skin that are not able to blend into my body.  Like Andrea said, even all the PS in the world can't make our somewhat normal bodies perfect, even though nobody is truly perfect.   I think the problems I am dealing with are coming to the end of it all.  I have spent the past 2+ years knowing I was working on something.  I was working on the weight loss, then working out, the the plastic surgery.  When I reach the "end" what in the world am I going to look forward to?   sometimes it takes talking to someone, although I have no idea who, about what makes you feel the way you feel about yourself. Good luck with the continuing journey.

I know how you feel. I just know I will have maintain my from now on. I lost weight  when I was 20years old then I just  started eating more then I  and gained it all make . I stayed  at a weight  between 170-235. Two and half years ago I said to my self no more.  I am 48years old.I still see myself as fat. I weigh 135.  I hope to never forget. I don't want to see the word obese on my medical record again.I believe alot of us lose weight then so how think we can eat like some people that don't gain weight  and they eat alot. We always have to remember how to got fat.