Let me explain

(deactivated member)
on 8/22/07 12:05 pm

Yeah, this was a mistake. If I could have a re-do today. I wouldn't have posted at all. I basically feel like crap and want to die. It's the obsessive compulsive in me that keeps coming back for more.

Neecee O.
on 8/22/07 12:33 pm - CA

I hope you find the help that you need. I hope you do stick around and get in our faces. let it out, baby.

Jupiter6
on 8/22/07 1:25 pm - Near Media, Pa- South of Philly, NJ

RNY on 07/16/07

If the smacked- ass responses (and that's what you really witnessed-- it wasn't malicious in intent) of total strangers on a webboard can take you to a place that dark-- and I really do not mean to be snide, here-- then you have a lot going on that probably needs addressing before you hit the agora. Wanting to die is an inappropriate and over the top response to snerty strangers on a webboard. We're not worth that kind of energy. This board-- by its very nature-- has dissent, and arguing, and confusion, and frustration-- and a bunch of people in a difficult place trying to claw their way to health. No two people on here feel great on any one day, and people rarely agree on the best tactics or roads to choose. It's a veritable cesspool of muck, with the occasional bad joke to keep things lively. If you're in a place so low that it all overwhelms you, make sure you seek support and help for yourself-- don't leave that in the hands of virtual strangers-- your life is too precious.

"Oh sweet and sour Jesus, that is GOOD!" - Stephen Colbert Lap RNY 7/07-- Lap Gallbladder 5/08--
     Emergency Bowel Repair 6/08 -Dr. Meilahn, Temple U.   Upper and Lower Bleph/Lower Face Lift
     12/08
     Fraxel Repair 2/09-- Lower Bleph Re-Do 5/09  -Dr. Pontell, Media PA Mastopexy/Massive
     Brachioplasty/ Extended Abdominoplasty (plus Mons Lift and Upper Leg lift) / Hernia Repair
     6/24/09 ---Butt Lift and Lateral Thighplasty Scheduled 7/6/10 - Dr. Ivor Kaplan VA Beach
     Total Cost: $33,500   Start wt: 368   RNY wt: 300 Goal wt: 150   Current wt: 148.2 BMI: 24.7

(deactivated member)
on 8/22/07 1:56 pm

I didn't feel bad until I read everything that was posted after I left. I could see that this wasn't going to work for me the second the brownie comment triggered me to binge and purge. I have a hard time believing that you think my life is 'too precious'. You said it yourself, you're a virtual stranger. Someone who took no effort to get to know the real me without making judgments. I thought this whole 'obesity HELP' thing was help for anyone. Which obviously wasn't the case. It's really too bad, because I'm a really cool person when you get to know the REAL me. But because of all of this today, nobody on this forum ever will. Even if I stuck around the damage has been done. Someone has said I need to get a sense of humor, others have said I'm not serious...and now, you think I'm suicidal. Which I'm not. The perception has been made. In the end it doesn't matter. I am sure I have a warped perception of who you two are too. See, I think the comments you made when I left makes you should like heartless *****es. But I'm sure that's not the REAL case. You're probably very nice people who hit me with sarcasm on the wrong day. I know I'm emotional when it comes to my weight. That was something I really thought people would be sensitive to here. Some were, some weren't. It doesn't matter. I'll get over it. I've been dealing with it on my own for 31 years...what's 30 more?

Jupiter6
on 8/22/07 3:54 pm - Near Media, Pa- South of Philly, NJ

RNY on 07/16/07

All lives are precious. And that's something you need to learn about yourself ...and learn to defend as well. None of us can tear you down without your consent-- most especially if we're not *trying* to. You cannot give strangers that kind of power. People can't learn to know the whole you if you enter a room with your hand out. All they can see is your need, and not your prospects, and it can be very off-putting. People can't always come in after you to find you-- you have to make your "coolness" known. Comments like "I hope I die" or "nobody on this forum will get to know the real me", or "What's 30 more?" or "The brownie comment MADE me binge and purge" reveal some serious all-or-nothing thinking that sends up real red flags for me. This is a discussion forum, and generally speaking, the help we find here is affirmations of what we already know to be true...no one here doles out advice from the mountaintop. Which is why no one initially knew how to respond to your cry for help. Your emotional fragility appears to extend further than your weight, and I am not sure anyone here is equipped to deal with those sorts of needs. I'm very sorry you're so upset by this discussion forum, but it's limited in its scope. Please seek out live, in-person help for the things that are hurting you so.

"Oh sweet and sour Jesus, that is GOOD!" - Stephen Colbert Lap RNY 7/07-- Lap Gallbladder 5/08--
     Emergency Bowel Repair 6/08 -Dr. Meilahn, Temple U.   Upper and Lower Bleph/Lower Face Lift
     12/08
     Fraxel Repair 2/09-- Lower Bleph Re-Do 5/09  -Dr. Pontell, Media PA Mastopexy/Massive
     Brachioplasty/ Extended Abdominoplasty (plus Mons Lift and Upper Leg lift) / Hernia Repair
     6/24/09 ---Butt Lift and Lateral Thighplasty Scheduled 7/6/10 - Dr. Ivor Kaplan VA Beach
     Total Cost: $33,500   Start wt: 368   RNY wt: 300 Goal wt: 150   Current wt: 148.2 BMI: 24.7

Jupiter6
on 8/23/07 12:55 am - Near Media, Pa- South of Philly, NJ

RNY on 07/16/07

NOTE: There's a bunch of very weird and histrionic posts missing here- in case I appear to be talking to myself. Our friend was very active in the middle of the night, but appears to have deleted all evidence of her existance. Sorry!*******

"Oh sweet and sour Jesus, that is GOOD!" - Stephen Colbert Lap RNY 7/07-- Lap Gallbladder 5/08--
     Emergency Bowel Repair 6/08 -Dr. Meilahn, Temple U.   Upper and Lower Bleph/Lower Face Lift
     12/08
     Fraxel Repair 2/09-- Lower Bleph Re-Do 5/09  -Dr. Pontell, Media PA Mastopexy/Massive
     Brachioplasty/ Extended Abdominoplasty (plus Mons Lift and Upper Leg lift) / Hernia Repair
     6/24/09 ---Butt Lift and Lateral Thighplasty Scheduled 7/6/10 - Dr. Ivor Kaplan VA Beach
     Total Cost: $33,500   Start wt: 368   RNY wt: 300 Goal wt: 150   Current wt: 148.2 BMI: 24.7

Jupiter6
on 8/23/07 1:01 am, edited 8/23/07 1:01 am - Near Media, Pa- South of Philly, NJ

RNY on 07/16/07

"Oh sweet and sour Jesus, that is GOOD!" - Stephen Colbert Lap RNY 7/07-- Lap Gallbladder 5/08--
     Emergency Bowel Repair 6/08 -Dr. Meilahn, Temple U.   Upper and Lower Bleph/Lower Face Lift
     12/08
     Fraxel Repair 2/09-- Lower Bleph Re-Do 5/09  -Dr. Pontell, Media PA Mastopexy/Massive
     Brachioplasty/ Extended Abdominoplasty (plus Mons Lift and Upper Leg lift) / Hernia Repair
     6/24/09 ---Butt Lift and Lateral Thighplasty Scheduled 7/6/10 - Dr. Ivor Kaplan VA Beach
     Total Cost: $33,500   Start wt: 368   RNY wt: 300 Goal wt: 150   Current wt: 148.2 BMI: 24.7

violamom
on 8/22/07 10:14 am - veradale, WA

I'm turning off the PC and going home now. See you all tomorrow

What I've eaten is here for the world to see
336.1 (8-1-07)/319.0 (12-28-07)/200 (goal for 12-31-08)/160 (goal)
Next mini goal is 290 by 1-31-08

Neecee O.
on 8/22/07 12:29 pm - CA

Hey, if any given person is THAT sensitive, it's time to go. So she did, it's over now folks. I will say that yes, i get sick of re-telling my story. BUTT that's my problem. I can either design a canned news article to post from my blog...and sometimes i do go to my blog and cut/paste some line of **** i already laid down! WORSE, I hate some people on other boards who constantly referred new peeps to back posts, a FAQ that he whipped up and slopped in front of their faces. To me, he thinks that the new person can say, oh this is all i need. Actually what we all need is some human interaction. faceless, yes, but still they reached out and touched. I want to help them, and try to be warm. Okay, and slap them after like two posts. But still, my initial greeting i prefer to be warm. Just so i can know I did one thing right by them. I try to rememeber that many people who come here know nada about being online whatsoever, basically don't know how to read profiles, lucky to cross the e-street they know so little. But yeah, then one must hang with the homies and take a few kicks and ***** slappin.

Jupiter6
on 8/22/07 1:10 pm - Near Media, Pa- South of Philly, NJ

RNY on 07/16/07

(Keep in mind I am in a lot of pain, Neece. I am not at my best.) I think another issue is that people who drop in and say, "I need_______" (support/ affirmation/ advice, etc) are a little ahead of themselves. I wouldn't walk up to a stranger and list my needs-- at least not until I offered something too, even if it's just online chatter. It's easier to help, and to WANT to help-- someone you have had time to get to know, at least to some small extent. I think I've been pretty good in general about that-- except when someone storms the bastille and announces, "I need ________." My knee-jerk reaction is, "Well, we all have needs of course-- first, who are you and what brought you here?"

"Oh sweet and sour Jesus, that is GOOD!" - Stephen Colbert Lap RNY 7/07-- Lap Gallbladder 5/08--
     Emergency Bowel Repair 6/08 -Dr. Meilahn, Temple U.   Upper and Lower Bleph/Lower Face Lift
     12/08
     Fraxel Repair 2/09-- Lower Bleph Re-Do 5/09  -Dr. Pontell, Media PA Mastopexy/Massive
     Brachioplasty/ Extended Abdominoplasty (plus Mons Lift and Upper Leg lift) / Hernia Repair
     6/24/09 ---Butt Lift and Lateral Thighplasty Scheduled 7/6/10 - Dr. Ivor Kaplan VA Beach
     Total Cost: $33,500   Start wt: 368   RNY wt: 300 Goal wt: 150   Current wt: 148.2 BMI: 24.7

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