Abuse

After reading several replies on the "Remember those numbers" post.  I realize that we've been through such abuse with our parents, friends, and school peers.  We have also become soooo hard on ourselves. I do believe that any kind of abuse (physical, emotional, sexual, etc.) can add to our overweight problems.  I don't know what happened to me as a small child, but I was emotionally abused by my mother most of my life. But I was a chubby child, also.  I wonder what happened to make me eat while so young?  Guess I'll never know. Do you think that our overweight issues are from some kind of abuse, or do you believe in it being hereditary?    Bren

I know that I eat when my emotions run amuck.  When my father used to put me down because of my weight, I'd go to my best friends house and we'd pig out.  It's sad.

Quite simply - Both My mother was (is) mean.  verbally abusive.  My first husband was abusive.  I dont know much why I gained when I was young... but I do know that I wasnt as fat as I *thought* I was.  I have photographic proof!  LOL  but it didnt matter.  I was bigger than the others and I believed I was fat. the ex used to tell me I was fat (and ugly and stupid) almost daily.  I do think that 10 years with him contributed greatly to the weight I gained duringthat time.

I'd agree with both too.  My parents never ridiculed me about my weight but the kids at school sure made it a daily point to do so.  Didn't really stop until I got into high school. To this day I still stare at myself with disgust when I walk by a mirror or I snap a picture of myself.  Sucks..  wish I could get over it and love myself at my current size.

To this day I still stare at myself with disgust when I walk by a mirror or I snap a picture of myself. Wow... I can so relate to this...

Funny, I just remembered.....  you know how the abuse cycle works right?  their is the period of abuse followed by a honeymoon where he is all apologetic and buys flowers and stuff.... my ex used food for the honeymoon period...  was that because he knew dinner (and a big dessert) at dairy queen would buy more forgiveness from me than a bunch of flowers would? interesting... and he would cycle through about 2 times a week....  2 or 3 days of hell.. and a day of eating.... 2 or 3 more days of hell and a day of eating... well you get the picture....

I think it's both.  I remember at one point I was so thin (thinking back) but I always saw myself as disgusting.. putrid.. out of control.  When I really started to put weight on, my sister told me that she thought I was doing it deliberately to push men away.. I still wasn't very heavy at that time.  My sister has no clue about things from my childhood... they were kept a secret and remain so to this day.  My mother never went overboard about the weight.. she complimented when weight was lost, but never said anything about it when it came on.  She wasn't as generous with containing herself in other areas though.. God rest her soul she had a hard life.. and the screaming and yelling and threatening was horrendous.  I'd drink a pint of blackberry brandy on my way home from school and repeat to myself "I live in a plastic bubble.. I can't hear a thing".  lol I also think there's a heredity on my father's side of the family.  My brother .. God rest his soul... went up to 600 lbs before he died.  He lost 140, then got so sick and couldn't fight it.  I see me gaining... same age/weight as he did.  My grandmother on one side was a big woman, but on the other side.. all like my mother.. 4'10" and 95 lbs soaking wet.   I can see what abuse from childhood did to me though.. I just always tried to say to myself "you're an adult, none of that matters.. it was nothing".   Thanks for bringing it up, Bren.. it's kinda like getting an emotional enema! L

Hi Mz...I think its both also, altho for others it can be either.  I have mostly obese aunties/skinny uncles (course they married in)....MY cousins are all way  obese, only one thin one.  I don't know about my dad's side.  As for the abuse, there wasn't anything horrible.  My eatin is the stress of caretaking our DD, and NOT caretaking of myself!

I feel like I'm just jumping into your conversations but I'm new here and don't know any other way to do it :) So here goes!  :) I agree with BOTH as well. But I really feel abuse has a lot to do with my fat self. I had a grandmother that was mean as hell to me. I don't know why, but my mom said she just didn't want them to have anymore kids- & I was next? One year she bought my sis & I these little autograph books-she wrote a sweet poem in one but mine- I'll never forget: "Roses are red, violets are blue- I'm to fat and so are you" I know she added SHE was fat- but she wasn't. I was around 10 I think- just beginning to get chubby.  Then my dad (her son) though I loved him to death and miss him terrible- he would call me "**** for brains", "stupid" .... & so on.  Mom was much the same. I think they were raised that way & knew no other way to deal with us. In my family history. (Dads side) Grandma- skinny (died of cancer at 63)  Grandpa-skinny (died at 82) Uncle- skinny (died of cancer at 69) Dad- Over Weight (Moms side) Grandma- over weight (died at 60 heart attack had insulin dependant diabetes) Grandpa- skinny (died at 43 of a heart anurism?) Uncle- very over weight (died at 48 of heart attack) aunt- very over weight (died at 48 of ovarian cancer) aunt- okay weight (died at 47 of lung cancer) mom- over weight (died  at 57 of breast cancer) (My siblings) Brother- Over weight- he is around 56 & on BP meds sister- over weight-  she is 52 & I don;t know anything about her :( brother- over weight- has been on BP meds for several years Myself- WAY over weight started BP meds 2 years ago

I feel like I'm just jumping into your conversations but I'm new here and don't know any other way to do it :) yup - you did it right...  just like that :)