New here- intro and a few ????

I'm fairly new to these forums- I think I joined about a week ago. I was hoping to get the LB surgery but have since learned my insurance will not touch any part of any WLS :(  I bawled my eyes out, but the more I have read these forums- the more strength I feel coming from all your words.... I am now trying to figure out my best options in a WL journey. I know surgery is *out*, but I want to set myself a goal and get to work on this!  So I guess my first question would be - if you didn't have WLS - what WL option have you chosen to work with? What have you found that is working? I turned 49 a few months ago- that in itself was a BIG thing to me because most of my family has passed in their 47/48 year. Passing this stage has scared me to my wits end! Yet it has also helped me in some odd way, to really WANT to get this weight under control- I want to LIVE a LONG time!!  I still have kids to see grow up and I don't want hem to be without their mom- I lost mine at 28 & that was to young for me! I am fairly limited on my program options I think, because I live in a very secluded area, on an island in AK with a population of maybe 3k in the summer months and it drops to around 2500 in the winter months. On the down side- this means we have no support with WW or TOPS meetings etc. We have no "personal trainers" (heck! I thought Oprah was the only one who had that luxury!:)  AND, for many months we have nasty (mostly rain/chilly) weather and it's difficult to get out there and walk. Our city has an indoor pool but I never learned to swim and I can't even poor myself into a swim suit these days. On the UP-side though, this also means- we have no McDonnalds, Burger King etc.  :)  The scenery is *beautiful* so walking is never boring :) A little about me--- I'm 49, been married twice- my 1st lasted only 2 years but it was 2 longgggg years :(  I got out ALIVE and with a beautiful dd! Been married to present dh for almost 23 years & we have had 5 more children. Of those 5, we lost a ds in 1997 and we adopted our youngest dd in 2001.  At this point my children are all grown and out on their own, but for a ds who is 13 this week (an age to make ANYONE over eat!! lol) and a dd who is 6.  Life is never dull around here! :) I love crafts, digital scrapping/photography/photo restoration etc. I work in my home- as a licensed childcare provider I care for up to 8 children M-F. I have two dogs, a house- but no picket fence (yet!)  LOL I need to loose 75-100 pounds... for now I am saying 75- because 100 just seems to big a battle :( My BMI is 43. My two youngest children have never been on a vacation and we have been trying to get out to Disney Land somewhere around Feb. 2008. We have not had a vacation since 1993 as we had 2 very sick children shortly after that, and went into debt.... so I am hoping to set a goal of loosing 50# between now & Feb.... I just do NOT want to face the embarrassment of PUSHING my big fat arse into a seat  on a plane-  I'm hoping this will be a great incentive for me- I so want to see their EYES as they see all the excitement!! Sorry this is so long!  I have been reading so much here and you are all such great people! It feels like I gained a little strength just reading about YOUR strength and happiness in your WL travels. (((((hugs))))) to all!

Hi Chunky! Well, me too.  I'm a chunky mama 2. Read my profile for more information, but again, we have more in common.  i just turned 50 this May.  Spring of 2006, i had been rejected by my pcp and the local surgeon to get LB, though my insurance would have funded it almost completely. Like yuo, i creid my eyes out that weekend, which kind of surprised me after I had set myself up to have a "see what happens" attitude to start out with.   i knew i would be borderline, i was a svelte 37 BMI, but with borderline bp, and exerise induced asthma, i thought it I might make the wls team.  If I had gained 12#....TWELVE g*damm pounds, I could have qualified.  As I told my PCP, hell, give me 6 weeks, no problem.  I felt I was knocking my brains out to stay around the weight I had grown to. What would happen if I did nothing at all?  Like I said, 12# in 6 weeks, no sweat. At any rate, I kept on keepin on, whaddya goin to do.  I did wipe my tears and just tried as hard as I could one more time to do as i have done for so many years. Last summer 2006 , i got extremely down and out about that effin scale NOT moving no matter what I did. I admitted pure defeat and went back to a local bariatric doc after checking it out with my PCP first.  We gave me an EKG, and went for it. I took phendimetrazine, 35 mg,  for a solid 6 months.  It cost $600, and I did finally lose 24-ish pounds. slower than molasses in Alaska, yes? I have learned to ustilize bariatric foods which are with me all day long (have a very stressful job), so i try to use them every couple hours duirng my crazy day, then eat a "normal" supper, of whatever, making sure i eat the correct portions, load up on veggies. So then i switched to WW, backed way off the pills, which were not all that effective anymore anyway.  I use them to this day on occasion, especially weekends, cut them in half and they really help me stay on track. WW helped me lose an additonal 16 pounds. So, i am now about 182 ish pounds, down about 38 pounds! I am going to join TOPS probably next to have a place to go weigh in offical-like. The main lesson for me is to eat a little sumthin every couple hours to stave off my hunger.  I wake up not hungry, then it gets bigger than all of us by late afternoon unless I do keep feeding myslef little high protein snacks.  It can be cottage cheese, chicken breast, turkey, whatever, but like I said, the bariatric foods have saved my neck to nearly jump into my mouth when i need my small meal. Check out www.carbessentials.net   that is where I get my food, but i don't have to buy it mail order. yes, it's expensive, but so is surgery and vitamins and personal trainers and knee replacements and heart attacks. See my point? LOL i did want to address your comment about walking outside, but it's too wet and chilly.  What, are you sugar? Get out there, wear a pancho, try to get addicted. Wear a scarf around your mouth and layers of clothes when it's cold, but no excuses, get out and walk every day. I was raised in Illinois, so i know how you feel.  I got out there anyway, all my life. Illinois has the added charming feature of suffocating humidity.  in that case, it meant getting up extra early! Best of luck and read posts.  You will hit on something.

Thanks for all your thoughts and ideas Neecee, I'll be checking out the sites you left me... well, I actually DID already but will research more on the carbessentials site- that looks very interesting. I wonder if they'll ship to Alaska! It looks/sounds like there are more WL options out there- "helpers" in terms of foods etc.... things I never new were out there!  I know a friend of mine in another town use to get the nutrisystem meals & she did fairly well on that plan. But she is my friend that got the LB a couple mos ago. BTW- what is phendimetrazine, ? Is this related to the fen-phen of years ago?  I was on that at one time- it did fairly well but I got preggo and by the time things settled after that- they were learning of all the great side-affects. Most recently (2 years ago) I was on Meridia and that worked really *really* well- for 3 months. I lost around 22 pounds with its help but it was like a placebo after the 3 month mark. It just *stopped* helping. My biggest problem is that I am an "eat on the run" person. Not really sitting down & eating a good, solid meal. I just grab & go. So if I could just get THAT under control! And it's really crazy as I feed the crew here very balanced meals- on the FDA food program- but do *I* eat them? Nooooo  I've kinda got the same idea as Chris I. & Donna B on this forum (forgive me, but I've only been able to read a couple profiles yet:) I *really* wanted the WLS... even just a week ago I wanted it TERRIBLY BAD! But I think I have more faith in ME than I am giving myself credit for! I also was reading the "memorials" on this site and found myself bawling! I just know- without a shadow of a doubt- THAT would be me. That is the kind of luck we have around here! I should have been more clear on the walking- I do really LIKE walking... I wasn't like trying to be a weenie in the rain ;)  I have 6-8 little kiddo's from 7:00 a.m. to 6:15 p.m. Mon-Fri. On decent days we DO go out, but it really sucks to drag all the kids out in the pouring rain. What I NEED to do and HOPE that I will feel more up to it as time goes on (after some poundage is dropped) is get up WAY EARLY and do the walking without them, Right now though, with my sleep being interupted all night- it is honestly about all I can do to crawl out of bed when I do. I know though, that as I get 15 or 20 lbs down- the energy increases so much & I'll WANT to get up and get at it earlier.  It'll soon be dark here around 4p.m. and no daylight till around 8 a.m.- I hate walking in the dark.... but even if I go around our block 10 times- I can do that :) Violamom: What brought you to Kodiak? We aren't nearly as far up north as you were but dh has a cousin that lives in Kodiak :) Thank you for the website- I'll check that out as well- as soon as I get done with this post! I think you're right with the journaling- up until about 3 years ago I kept a daily journal on just life in general! It  was a real release at the end of a day to just get it all out- like you said "good or bad". I think I will definitely do that! anim8tor: You know, that is what I was thinking about doing- just what I'd be doing had I actually HAD WLS. My friend has lost almost 50 lbs in 2 months and of course she has the band- but if I could follow the plan & NOT have to put out the bucks on the actual surgery... I could take my kiddo's to DISNEY!!  This would be a far better way for me to spend money (that I don't really have:) than to do WLS. This would benefit ALL of us- ALL the way around!    And the thing is- I *can't* TELL my kids this is going to happen... and then LET THEM DOWN. I *cannot* do that! So I am going to *have* to stick with the program! This is a dream come true for them- and ME. A win-WIN situation :)   I'm just thinking it might be a big incentive for me as well as the kids to support my plan :) So basically, what I need to do and I'm researching every spare minute I have- I need to find a program that is going to fit my needs/life. I know one thing- I have to be STRONG as I have a dh that is NOT in support of me as I try. He has and WILL AGAIN sabotage my WL plans. He has done it *every* time. I'm not sure why, because he LIKES me thinner- but he does it none the less. So I need to become strong enough to fight it- that has always been my down fall.  Anyhow- enough blabbering- I have been working on this reply since nap time and just got back on before I start dinner :)   THANK YOU ALL for your thoughts and the links etc. !!!

Hi C Mama I lived on Kodiak for 4 years about 13 years ago.... we had mcdonalds though!  LOL feel free to check out my journal to see what I eat.  I try to eat quite often (every few hours) and have lots of lean protien in my diet.   www,thedailyplate set a goal of near 2000 calories a day for me.  I try to stay between 1800 and 2000.  Journaling what you eat, good or bad is key. water water water good to meet you.  I hope that you will stick around and get to know us!

I decided to pull out my Weigh****chers material.  They now have a program you can do from home and have a site with message boards and recipes and stuff.  I've got about 150 pounds to lose but I can't really even think about it that way anymore.  Every time I do I just get depressed and don't push forward.  I want to lose it and not find it again so I am challenging myself to a lifestyle change similar to what I would have had to do with surgery. My husband and I got married November 26, 2005 and it's been rollercoaster of a ride (more downs than ups-LOL).  We both lost our jobs within 6 weeks of the wedding (me 2 days before my birthday which was on a Sunday! haha).  My insurance at that job excluded WLS and my husband finally started a good job 2 weeks ago and his insurance excludes any treatment obesity or weight loss related which is going to be very interesting since most of my health problems are obesity related. So, right now, I am just going to try to use the Weigh****chers program the right way by really trying to eat well-not all the processed and "fat free" foods.  I think I've started to realize that one of my biggest problems is I don't have real support in life to encourage positive behavior and I think that is really important.  I was originally going to try to do Jenny Craig or Medifast-something where I didn't have to think about for a while but I really need to get a better relationship with food started anyway even if it is going to be a slooooooowwww process. I wish you all the best and lots of success whatever you choose to do. Beth