Abstinence - Day 178

shari, it is on a public blog, which is implicitly inviting scrutiny.  You are right.  these are all fair questions.

You asked:  when did it hit you that those certain foods were triggers and you chose not to go to McD's but instead make a great salad and some chicken ( in regards to the OA program)?  Or chose not to buy the donuts and instead chose to buy strawberries and fat free cool whip or  fat free sugar free fudgiscles?  My feeble attempt to answer:  when I did work with my sponsor.  OA asks you to choose a sponsor...someone who gets the principles and can guide you better. Every person will have a different path. After working some steps in OA, which for me meant  eating 3 squares and one snack of WHATEVER i wanted, i mean if it was 3 corndogs and 2 cups of potato salad, that WAS my planned meal. My snack might be a tall sundae. Whatever,  I had to plan it, journal it.   aside note:  In fact, my sponsor suggested that I not plan "diet rabbit food" like chicken plus salad. This kind of rigid food scheduling may have contributed to why I sneak food or cannot do it for more than 2 days. When I began eating more weight loss inducing foods like your chicken + salad was when i could see that I needed less calories AND could be honest about my food intake.   This journey is a lot of the reason you see me post about eating "real food in lower portions more than I ever say create a very low fat version of a taco or a pizza and go for the bulk of it.  trust me I do adopt converted recipes, so don't write letters, all you low fat version types who like to eat a lot of bulk. Being over full is also a trigger for a bulimic.  So, being over-full of even healthy stuff is dangerous and makes my revert to being tempted to purge.  As i say, what we don't know is why Denise is in OA...she does not let on what stage she is at.  I've let it go.  Why did I quit?  I went for like 4 years, nearly every day.  I bascially have myself in a remission with my compulsion.  I do feel some guilt about not helping others.  thansk for making me feel that guilt LOL..jus kiddin! It has to do with why I am here n these boards, trying to give back.

as for choosing fruit over donuts...that came in time, LOTS of time. Making sure I ate a balanced diet as you have heard me report ad naseum to many here:  especially dark green leafy veggies and fresh fruits. I had read that clinics that treat bulimics use this very balanced approach. My body changed...choco donuts taste like raw tobacco to me, I swear to you.  It shocks me how icky they taste.  Bascially, it is that the more one eats of *that* kind of food, the more you want of *that kind of food. When I eat all the foods I knwo I should eat, they are truly what I crave now. Conversely when I let myself go off on the lesser nutritive quality foods, they begin, all too quickly taste way too good to me again. I thnk whole milk tastes like cream now, I strongly prefer non fat milk. Highly salted foods can make me a little sick (tho this genre is still one of my personal faves)

Well, first, I think everyone on this forum loves your responses for your honesty, experience and wittiness. No guilt shall be felt, lol!!! So, what I got from your responses is  that OA is about learning to be honest with your food intake first and that learning healthier choices may come later.  So, I understand it to be more of addiction control than that of a "weight loss" tool.  If one choses to make healthier choices at a certain point, that is up to them.  But, as long as they are staying true to their plan (whether good or bad choices) they are overcoming uncontrolled eating.   I don't think OA would have worked for me back then when I started.  Although I would have had to plan and journal, I think it would have given me reason to still eat foods that were helping to make me fat and unhealthy.   Thanks Neecee!

it really is, IMHO, for pretty sick puppies (no harm intended to anyone who is in OA).  Not just the run of the mill "I can't keep cookies out of my mouth" people.  Part of the OA journey is to see how insane or sick you are. I'm sure, some amount of people not so sick, others, make me look like ametuer hour.

2 chocolate cake donuts (we have no graham crackers, so we picked up donuts) This one is really beyond my comprehension. Is there any healthy diet that prescribes either one? If so, how can one be substitued for another? If you can "pick up" a donut, why not a box of graham crackers? Two chocolate cake donuts= 483 calories  11.54 grams of fat Two graham crackers= 181 calories    2.83 grams of fat

All I can say to all of this is Oi Vey......you guys make my head spin.... lol

ya, Christa, we can sure beat sumthin to DEATH!

Denise -

This topic raised a great question that perhaps you would be kind enough to answer.  Are you posting your foods for feedback or is it just for your own information?

If you do in fact want feedback, could you please let us know what your goals are so that we can help hold you accountable?

thanks