Stomach Hostage Crisis-- Day 6

Jupiter6
on 8/11/07 9:12 am, edited 8/11/07 9:37 am - Near Media, Pa- South of Philly, NJ

Check Snopes-- this is a TRUE story! On or about July 16, 2007, while I slept, a team of mask wearing thugs attacked me. I was stabbed by a knife in my abdomen six times. One of the sadistic *******s was brazen enough to cram a camera in the hole to show off his work-- which will probably appear soon on YouTube or some show hosted by Bob Saget. Upon awakening, I realized that I could not eat. It two weeks to be able to even swallow applesauce again. I could not lie in a bed, nor stand up straight without shooting, burning pains shooting through my abdomen. Trying to make lemonade out of lemons, I decided, "Well, at least I will lose some weight this way." Apparently the sickos who opened me up also sewed lead fishing sinkers into my stomach lining, because 11 days later, I weighed two pounds more. My resolve was breaking down. The following week, I discovered they had filled my lower intestines with Kwik-Crete. Not wanting to give in to these sadists, I bore down for hours at a time, and ultimately blew out a bowel movement the size of Emmanuel Lewis (of Webster fame.) This resulted in a sudden net weight loss of 15 pounds. I swallowed drain cleaning chemicals to ensure no such further incidents occured. I ate food only in medicine-cup sized rations. I tried to drown my sorrows in spring water, to no avail. In the past seven days, no further weight loss has been noted. Please see that these sick pranksters are brought to justice!

"Oh sweet and sour Jesus, that is GOOD!" - Stephen Colbert Lap RNY 7/07-- Lap Gallbladder 5/08--
     Emergency Bowel Repair 6/08 -Dr. Meilahn, Temple U.   Upper and Lower Bleph/Lower Face Lift
     12/08
     Fraxel Repair 2/09-- Lower Bleph Re-Do 5/09  -Dr. Pontell, Media PA Mastopexy/Massive
     Brachioplasty/ Extended Abdominoplasty (plus Mons Lift and Upper Leg lift) / Hernia Repair
     6/24/09 ---Butt Lift and Lateral Thighplasty Scheduled 7/6/10 - Dr. Ivor Kaplan VA Beach
     Total Cost: $33,500   Start wt: 368   RNY wt: 300 Goal wt: 150   Current wt: 148.2 BMI: 24.7

Chris I.
on 8/11/07 9:33 am

FobiPouch on 02/09/10

Dooooo what?? None of that made any sense to me.

-=- CHRiS aka "Butterfinger Ho" -=-

                                         40 lbs lost while pursuing surgery.

Jupiter6
on 8/11/07 9:35 am - Near Media, Pa- South of Philly, NJ

RNY on 07/16/07

Yeah! Me either!

"Oh sweet and sour Jesus, that is GOOD!" - Stephen Colbert Lap RNY 7/07-- Lap Gallbladder 5/08--
     Emergency Bowel Repair 6/08 -Dr. Meilahn, Temple U.   Upper and Lower Bleph/Lower Face Lift
     12/08
     Fraxel Repair 2/09-- Lower Bleph Re-Do 5/09  -Dr. Pontell, Media PA Mastopexy/Massive
     Brachioplasty/ Extended Abdominoplasty (plus Mons Lift and Upper Leg lift) / Hernia Repair
     6/24/09 ---Butt Lift and Lateral Thighplasty Scheduled 7/6/10 - Dr. Ivor Kaplan VA Beach
     Total Cost: $33,500   Start wt: 368   RNY wt: 300 Goal wt: 150   Current wt: 148.2 BMI: 24.7

Chris I.
on 8/11/07 9:38 am

FobiPouch on 02/09/10

Holy crap, I just re-read it and realized what you were saying. That's very original!! I know I've never heard anyone put their WLS experience quite like that! lol It's the snopes thing that threw me off. I actually went and looked on snopes! lmao! Love it!

-=- CHRiS aka "Butterfinger Ho" -=-

                                         40 lbs lost while pursuing surgery.

Jupiter6
on 8/11/07 9:41 am - Near Media, Pa- South of Philly, NJ

RNY on 07/16/07

C'mon man, you got my back or what? Let's go take these mothers DOWN for what they did to me! Let's get 'em! ARE YOU READY TO RUMMMMMMMBLE?

"Oh sweet and sour Jesus, that is GOOD!" - Stephen Colbert Lap RNY 7/07-- Lap Gallbladder 5/08--
     Emergency Bowel Repair 6/08 -Dr. Meilahn, Temple U.   Upper and Lower Bleph/Lower Face Lift
     12/08
     Fraxel Repair 2/09-- Lower Bleph Re-Do 5/09  -Dr. Pontell, Media PA Mastopexy/Massive
     Brachioplasty/ Extended Abdominoplasty (plus Mons Lift and Upper Leg lift) / Hernia Repair
     6/24/09 ---Butt Lift and Lateral Thighplasty Scheduled 7/6/10 - Dr. Ivor Kaplan VA Beach
     Total Cost: $33,500   Start wt: 368   RNY wt: 300 Goal wt: 150   Current wt: 148.2 BMI: 24.7

Angela B.
on 8/11/07 9:52 am - Somerville, AL

Lap Band on 10/04/07

LMAO!!!!!

10/4/07 surgery 265, 11/7/07 1st fill 252, 12/27/07 2nd fill 243, 1/16/08 234, 2/27/08 3rd fill 230, 5/18/08 209, 6/12/08 home scale 200!!!!!!!!!!! 10/22/08 1 yr......184, 11/4/08.....170, Pouch dilation in April 10, complete unfill. Starting over! 7/29/10-175

Jupiter6
on 8/11/07 9:59 am - Near Media, Pa- South of Philly, NJ

RNY on 07/16/07

How DARE you laugh at my misfortune! I mean, unless you're of German ancestry-- I mean, we like that kinda thing.

"Oh sweet and sour Jesus, that is GOOD!" - Stephen Colbert Lap RNY 7/07-- Lap Gallbladder 5/08--
     Emergency Bowel Repair 6/08 -Dr. Meilahn, Temple U.   Upper and Lower Bleph/Lower Face Lift
     12/08
     Fraxel Repair 2/09-- Lower Bleph Re-Do 5/09  -Dr. Pontell, Media PA Mastopexy/Massive
     Brachioplasty/ Extended Abdominoplasty (plus Mons Lift and Upper Leg lift) / Hernia Repair
     6/24/09 ---Butt Lift and Lateral Thighplasty Scheduled 7/6/10 - Dr. Ivor Kaplan VA Beach
     Total Cost: $33,500   Start wt: 368   RNY wt: 300 Goal wt: 150   Current wt: 148.2 BMI: 24.7

Angela B.
on 8/11/07 10:10 am - Somerville, AL

Lap Band on 10/04/07

On August 11, 2007 at 4:59 PM Pacific Time, Shari S. wrote:

How DARE you laugh at my misfortune! I mean, unless you're of German ancestry-- I mean, we like that kinda thing.

Of course I am!

10/4/07 surgery 265, 11/7/07 1st fill 252, 12/27/07 2nd fill 243, 1/16/08 234, 2/27/08 3rd fill 230, 5/18/08 209, 6/12/08 home scale 200!!!!!!!!!!! 10/22/08 1 yr......184, 11/4/08.....170, Pouch dilation in April 10, complete unfill. Starting over! 7/29/10-175