One Last..gloves are off... all out try
LVS...you have some teaching to do at your house! I would schedule each person in your house to do one night's cooking..plus dessert. That leaves you to do the other 4 nights, right? Even your DH can boil hot dogs or fire up the grill on a weekend night at least? grill some pineapple and buy vanilla ice cream to go with it? Come one now, just ask them, then you try to get their shopping list going for what they will need. Not one iota of my business, but why is a 21 year old still living at home this helpless? This girl needs to start kicking in or shipping out. Her life is about to start, and she is an adult NOW by all standards. You need her help right now, tell her so she may begin to act like an adult.
You sound so depressed, wish i coudl be there to hug you and help you. Please get out of the house and join WW or TOPS or anything! Go to community collge and get into an aqua aerobics class...anything. You need some 3D support. You are at a place in your life where your kids are about to leave home, so you will be experiencing a new life.
I know I've been a bad mother. I am just at the point of giving up. I can't argue anymore. I argue.. then I go make a cheese and tomato sandwich. It's so over. I keep telling her that I'm going to die.. and she'll be up the creek without a paddle.. but she's got that willful defiance thing she's always had. She yes's me to death and never follows through, and I'm the bad guy for continually bringing it up.
I hate to say it like this... but I'm not the only parent here, and I simply cannot do it anymore. Selifsh as it may be, I have to do what I have to do to get ME right, or I won't be able to take care of anyone else anymore. Yanno, I think the reason why I'm so hot on getting this weight off and ease the pain is because I'm afraid that she'll never be self-sufficient. I gotta get back in the game.
Oh. as far as going out.. oh HECK no! I can't stand walking around with my head down so I don't have to see the people lookin' at me. Since I didn't take the 20 grand and go to the surgeon, I was going to beg for a pool! LOL I'd LIVE in it! I don't know if I'm depressed.. or maybe... well.. wouldn't it be normal for ANYONE who weighs over 300 lbs (298 as of this morning) and who is in pain all the time to feel .. yanno.. somewhat depressed? I did find a Christian therapist and I saw her twice, then she was away for a month.. but I'm going to keep my next appointment. She's like rail thin and wants to know why I'm so big! Gee.. when I find out, I'll clue her in! LOL
Ok.. you're right.. it's a bit depressing! I have to travel 700 miles to see the doctor I've seen for the last 15 years because I can't get a doctor HERE to take me as a patient. I had NO clue this would happen. 700 miles every three months. By the time I get there I can't walk. Two gasped at my weight.. one told me they don't have a scale that would weigh me. One said I was too sick and he refused to treat me. Two won't see anyone who doesn't have insurance (even though I pay cash). So.. it's all up to me now. If I want help when I'm sick, I have to be a normal weight to get it. Ooh.. ooh. I forgot.. one doctor won't see anyone who takes any pain medication. Um.. haha...I don't quite get that.. I wasn't taking an overabundance, and I take myself off of it from time to time to make sure I still can. I messed up BIG time with putting this weight on. I don't think I could have stopped it though.
Thanks.. I appreciate the vent! It's good though.. I'm looking forward to this nutrisystem thing working for me. I'm dropping the fluid right now so it's nice to see the scale move a little (big smile).
You folks are amazing!
Be Blessed!! Praying for everyone's comfort!
