One Last..gloves are off... all out try

Hi folks.

I've been lurking here for quite some time.  I got a lot of great information and scheduled an appointment with wl surgeon.  I never made that appointment.  I keep thinking about the pain I'm in on a daily basis and wondering if I'm nuts to want to add to it.  I decided to attempt a last try at weight loss without the surgery and ordered Nutrisystem.  This might be for the best since my husband was about to drain most of his savings to get the surgery for me.  I don't think it's fair that I do this to him.  So, I just asked for support in this latest serious effort.

I've got so much to lose.  :(   Before I made the appointment I was at 308.  I got on the scale this morning before starting my first day of nutrisystem, and I was at 301.5.  I'm so desperate.  I'm in my usual witching hour.. the hungriest time of day for me.  It's 3:35am and of course the hunger woke me up.  Yea, I tried the usual, drinking to make sure it isn't thirst blah blah blah, but my only choice here is to get some coffee and stay up with only 2 hours of sleep in me, or go back into a place between sleep and awake not knowing whether I'll give in to it out of exhaustion. The house is going to be a mess, and the troops will be hungry (although at 21, 22 and 60 I think they are old enough to feed themselves), but I think I'm going to stay up and tough up through it until my stomache gets used to being empty all night.   Day 1:  Try not to fail God bless you all!  Praying for your comfort and rejoicing in your successes!  

 

 

Welcome!  I committed to one year before considering surgery.  Now, three years and one month later, I feel wonderful! Hope we'll see plenty of you!

Oh great!!  How wonderful to hear this!  Pssssst I'm from Jersey too!

Hi and welcome to the non-op board, I see a certain desperation in your voice, and sadly it's one that I recognize.  I remember stepping on the scale and realizing I had to lose like over 150 pounds to get to a reasonable weight.  I was 352 pounds.  I thought that losing weight for me was going to be like emptying out the Atlantic Ocean with a thimble.  It was so HUGE.  I couldn't imagine that 2 pounds a week would ever add up to anything.  I mean, hello, even if I lost 50 pounds I'd STILL be over 300.  But heck, what was I going to do?  So I did it.  Day by day, perhaps minute by minute. I wish you luck and definitely come back for support.  This group is amazing!!!

ah ha. .you can hear the desperation ay?  Yea.. that's the perfect word!  Does the pain ease up as you lose weight?  Hips, knees, back?  I've not taken a pain pill in about a week and besides the withdrawal.. LOVELY I got that hypersensitivity  and just lay there like a slug shaking and sweating and hurting, but I don't think I'll be able to lose weight as long as I take something for pain.   God bless you.. your courage is inspiring!

Yes, the pain eases immensely but for me I did some amazingly bad things to my body and my knees are paying for it still.  I am in pain every day and I have just decided to go back to the ortho to see if maybe I don't HAVE to live with the pain.   But in the end it is very much worth it.  I feel so much more normal now  even though my weight is still techically in the obese category.  I don't care as much about numbers as the way that I feel.  One day the numbers will be kind to me, but it doesn't stop me from continuing on every day.   Good luck, make this about you and doing something amazing for yourself.

I can't wait for pain relief.  I can't live on hydrocodone.  This isn't a way to live, but.. I know my knees aren't going to heal themselves.  I pounced on these yams hard during my teenage years.. and into my late 20's even.  Egads..  everytime I stand up I wonder if this is going to be the time when one completely gives out.  That's how my left knee went.. I just.. stood UP!  Luckily I had insurance at the time.  I have no clue what will happen now. 

In my opinion, you shouldn't be trying not to fail, but rather trying to do some little thing each day.  Switching cold turkey from what you normally eat to an entirely different diet is difficult to do.  Try instead, perhaps, to make one of your meals each day Nutrisystem, after a week, try two.  You should begin to get an idea of portion sizes and the right things to eat from what is in the Nutrisystem meals which may allow you to eat what you normally eat in more appropriate portions. Its the same with exercise.  In January I was riding a cart around the grocery store because I couldn't walk long enough.  Now I can walk 4 miles a day.  At the beginning I didn't try walking at all, I rode a recumbent cycle for 10 minutes.  Then I started walking, 100 yards at a time, just once a day.  It goes slow, but at the end of the day, you know you did *something* to help you lose weight.  Keep adding to it and it does build up. In my experience, those times late at night, you aren't really hungry, you're scared, and food is a comfort.  Starting to make some progress, some small steps toward your future, helps a lot to alleviate those fears. As far as having a long way to go:  I'm 419 pounds.  At my highest, I was 598.  You *can* make progress.

Oh.. God bless you!  Wonderful post! I guess I didn't have any set way of eating... so this is the beginning of trying to start a habit.  I never ate in the morning.. usually not until 4:00pm but then again, I'd be up starving in the middle of the night!  EGADS.  I'd try to have a salad at night but lo and behold.. 3:00am comes.. and 3:00am takes me with it! .... trying not to fail..  this is good.  I never looked at it that way.  I only saw every attempt as a lesson in futility.  I have hooked up with a Christian counselor, maybe I'll learn to stop beating myself down to the ground by seeing a "little" progress as utter failure. EXERCISE!  EGADS!  I don't wanna!  I'll be honest!  It hurts!  I used to body build so I'm fortunate that I still have a lot of muscle, it just hurts to use it!  I do have a good recumbent bike and that's a good place to start, but I think I'm a ways off from trying to walk.  OOps... I didn't mention the emphysema.  Also knee surgery, two torn acls that are not repaired.  One meniscus gone and one on the way out.. YES I was into serious self abuse as a youngster and up until last year I was doing backhandsprings in low water still just because ...  ta daaaaaa I could, not because it was doing me any good.  Thank you for reminding me about the exercise.  I started off saying that I would do it from day one but I gotta be honest.. I'm hungry and it's hard to move in either direction.  I just want to grow accustomed to the smells and such without pigging out.  Tonight is grand:  I made the family dinner and begged my daughter to make the plates and PUT THE LEFTOVERS away so I don't eat 'em!  I don't want to have dinner so early because I know I'll be grumbling later.  Amen, the child came through. God bless you!  and your progress...  OH that's fabulous!  ..

Welcome!  I was a lurker for a few months before posting. You might try FitDay.com or some other source to count your calories and track your exercise activity, until your NutriSystem food comes in.  It has REALLY helped me along the past few weeks.  I didn't realize how many calories, etc. I was eating until I kept track. Good luck to you (and to all of us)!!!!! Brenda