goodbye for now

You need a break.  From everything.  I can't tell you whether or not you should stay on this board for support.  Please know that we're here for you if you need us.  You've made a lot of friends here and that's what we'll be for you: Friends.   Please don't turn to food for comfort.  Exercise, come to us and cry, call a friend and yell - anything.  But don't give up on YOU.  We love you.  Please do what's best for you.  In the end, only YOU matter, nothing else.

I have been in the mind game thing for well most of my adult life. Still deal with it if and when I ''let it''. YOU deserve to care for YOU even if others dont and trust me it is very difficult to have self worth. Over weight, under weight or any weight food is my drug of choice. I know how and what to eat certainly but......yes fill in the blank. Get tired or the crap, and do for you what you like even if it is a walk around the block or a bubble bath (trust me this taking the first step isnt easy). Hang in there and take it one step at a time and one day at a time maybe even one hour at a time but take the time and do it for YOU because YOU deserve it, as YOU are worth it!!!!!!!..........................Sharon

Heather,  I am so sorry this is happening.  I wish there was something I could say that would make this easier for you, but there isn't.  All I can do is echo the sentiments of all of our OH friends.  Don't give up on you whether you keep him or not make yourself a priority! I'll keep you in my prayers!

Heather, I am sorry this is all happening to you, but I will keep you in my prayers.... remember love you and take care of you.....  Do not let food be your support.... We will be here on this board ifyou just want to talk or chat.....

I just want to say joining OH is one of the best things I have ever done.  You are a wonderful bunch of people.  I have put up with abuse my whole adult life.  I have a adult disabled daughter.  For 22 years ( since I was 19) I have been her sole caretaker.  If I needed something from the store my husband would say,  you should have bought it while you were at the grocery store.  He has never once helped me with her.  Coming here and reading everyone else's stories has given me hope.  I wish somehow or some way I could have gotten away from him years ago.  I didn't have anyone I could turn to and no friends.  Now my health is so bad I don't feel like I can work.  Even if I could work who is going to take care of my daughter? I think the moral of my story is this;  get out while you are young and can work.  Be thankful you don't have disabled kids.  I think the longer you go with a abuser the harder it gets to separate what is normal and what is not.  It's no fun kissing someone's butt just to keep a roof over your head.  And your mind starts turning to mush.  I have heard if you want out bad enough you can figure it out.  I think those people that say that have never lived my life. If your husband wants a divorce,  smile and tell him to go for it.   Life is too short not to have peace.  I pray for peace everyday.

God love you!  so well said.  sadly, you know first hand how badly things can turn out.

Heather, I hope you get this.  I echo so many others when I say to take care of YOU.  Don't let this destroy all of your hard work.  You are getting healthy for YOU, don't let your husband rob you of that.  No matter if you can work it out or not, You need to focus on yourself.  We women seem to take care of others first and many times neglect ourselves.  Don't do it.  You have to care for your emotional and health needs before you can really be there for your kids. If you want to work on your marriage, I wish you much luck.  I hope you are able to work through this if you want to keep your family together.  I don't have any experience with this, so no advice.  I can say, my brother's wife emotionally cheated on him with a guy online.  When my brother found out his wife supposedly cut off contact.  He caught her at it with the same guy not 10 months later.  My brother stayed to keep his family together, but he never really trusted her again.  Hindsight being 20/20, my brother wishes he would have taken his son and walked when he caught her the first time.  You know what?  If he had, my mom would have been there to help heal his and my nephews wounds.  Sadly, she passed away before the other shoe dropped. Blessings, Melinda