Update - to Oh Mother.... geesh from 7/17

Hi Diva,

 

Sorry that your talk with your mother didn’t go very well.  There are certain people that you can’t discuss weight issues with and I think your mother may be one of those people.  Yes, she has lost some weight, but she certainly didn’t do it in a healthy way.  I think it’s very wrong of her to belittle the efforts that you are making and then have the nerve to criticize you and label you as too sensitive.  Criticism is not wrong in and of itself, but there is such a thing as constructive criticism which your mother seems unable or unwilling to give.  Some people don’t realize that hurtful criticism often leads people to do the opposite of what the critical person wants. So, you can either have another discussion with her where you do most of the talking and she does most of the listening.  Or you can just let her know that weight issues are a taboo subject.  Whatever you do just don’t let her bring you down. Get your kudos from the people who are willing to give them and do your best to ignore the naysayers.

Thanks Tali,  I certainly will NOT be initiating any conversation about weight with her anymore....I have realized that she cannot, at least at this time be a support or encouragement for me.   I love her .. but we will not be coversing about weight...

Girl, I too have a mother who likes to say hurtful things and somehow she thinks she is helping?!?!  For example - I had an epiphany of wanting to change my life this year on my birthday (drop the weight and enlist in the Army by my next birthday). I was almost scared to tell my mom - she's always squashed my dreams and said things like "oh your asthma will get in the way" (but did she quit smoking around me? No!) Anywho, I told her about my dream to change my life and better my family and you know what she said to me? You're too fat and you won't ever be in shape enough to do that.  Before that, I was thinking about changing my degree to criminal justice, not saying anything about FBI or anything. She said that I was too fat for the FBI and couldn't pass a physical. WTH?!?! My point being in this post is that please don't listen to her and let her get you down. I don't know why people feel so comfortable putting down their family with comments they wouldn't dare say to a co-worker, friend or stranger. I think the weight issues are going to have to be taboo with mom from now on. I know I made them off-limits between my mom and I. She has asked me how I am doing on diet the other day with a sarcastic tone and I just said "oh it's alright" and hurried and changed the subject.   You can accomplish your goals with support of your "family" right here. I think of you all here as the family I picked. I also have the support of my hubby and my aunt, who is like a mother to me. Yes, it still hurts that mom acts like an @$$, but I really have to let it go in one ear and out the other and not get into the issues with her that really hurt.  You go girl! Show her what you're made of!!!

Dang Heather... I hate to say it.. you may be the sister I have been looking for because your mom is sounding a lot like my mom.....  Whew!!!   All I wanna knows is why our moms want to take dreams away from you... even if in their minds if something is a dream... it is our dream... what does it cost to dream with you children (adult children at that)....  I mean we are not kids.... that think we will fly by tieing a sheet to our backs and jumping off the roof....  We are grown with real life goals that can and will come true....   Whew!!  I feel better saying that!!!    You are right... I have gotten more support from this site in 2 months that I have gotten from my mom about weight loss is atleast 10 years....  when I think about it... I may not have any biological siblings...but I do have a family here that shares and supports me in my ups and downs... and that I am grateful for!!!

I am glad to help you feel better! I'm sure we won't know the answers as to why our mothers do this unless we pay for therapy, so I chose to come here, lol!

I know thats right.... paying for therapy to figure out mothers may be covered by insurance....LOL  but I would'nt even want to pay the co-pay for that.... So I'll be sitting on the OH bench waiting for my session...lol

How do you know my mom? 

I found another sister....   Angela.. we gonna have to have a talk with mom...LOL