Newbie-weighing my options and I'm skeptical

I am consider RNY, the only option covered by my health insurance. Even a nutritionist is not covered unless I have diabetes, which I don't. I am fence sitting right now wondering which route to go.  I want to be healthy and as I'm doing the reading on the RNY boards I just can't help but think the procedure and after effects seem so extreme. It just seems so wrong to me that I should have to fight the urge to have raspberries or live on pureed or liquified foods. Beleive me, I'm not knocking anyone who has done this because it must take tremendous strength. Eventually I may end up going on that road. I'm just exploring right now. Can anyone tell me what they are doing to take charge of their health in a non-surgical way? I am a skeptic of any "diet "right now, probably because I've tried nearly everything.  Thoughts? Suggestions for losing the skepticism? What is your approach? Thanks for any help you can provide.

I had the RNY a week ago, but I lost 68 pounds in 4 months pre-operatively by slowly metering down to a 1300 calorie a day diet and exercising daily...I started at 2200 a week, walking around the block twice a week, and increased over time: it's possible! For me, the key was moderation, not deprivation. I fit things I loved into my program, but tried to keep protein higher than fat, so I literally never had real hunger. Once a month, I'd have a burger or whatever I was craving, then get back on track.  If you do choose RNY--I do want to give you this word of advice: it's not for people who are perfectly well but fat. Vanity, fear and self-loathing (in my opinion) are not reasons to surgically mutilate working bodily systems: I have known many who suffer life long malnutrition issues, and a couple who have sadly died. Learning to know and love the body you have-- at any weight--is essential for your personal well-being.-- that's true at any size. Wherever you go from there, everything goes a little smoother. Best of luck to you!

Shari, Thanks so much for your thoughts. That is excellent that you lost 68 pounds in 4 months! I agree with you that surgically mutilating bodily systems is drastic and I wish there were a better way for some people. It scares me to know of all the malnutrition issues that can arise. Does this happen in spite of following "doctor's orders"? I was curious about that.

One question for you....do you second guess your decision for RNY and what made you finally decide to take that step?

Hi, Welcome to the non-op board.   You never mention anything about your situation.  Do you have co-morbidities, is your BMI in the O, MO or SMO range?  What types of diets have you tried in the past. Perhaps in some ways it's a matter of changing the way you look at your lifestyle changes.  "diets" are not designed for longevity.  If you pay for Jenny Craig, LA Weight Loss, NutriSystem, they make the choices for you.  After a while if you go back to your "regular" eating, your regain is almost guaranteed.  You have to figure out what works for you and REALLY work it. When I started my journey I had to take a long hard look at what I had done.  To me most people end up doing a diet for short spurts of time and then going back to the way they did things before.  That may be great for the person who has to constantly lose 5 pounds, but for those of us with severe weight problems it is not the option.  I decided I had really not committed to an eating and exercise regimen that I would be able to work into my life and do it for the long haul.  When I got honest with myself I realized that I could do this on my own.  It's really all about, as my signature says, accountability to yourself. Regardless of whether you do it on your own or have RnY, the changes you will have to make will be forever.  Your "tool" will only work at the optimum level for a short time.  After that you will have to, as you say, "diet" again.  Read the WLS Grads board which has been designed for people more than 1 year post op.  Also go to the WLS regrets board to see what kinds of things are on the horizon for those who have had complications.  And in the end the Main Board isn't a bad resource, if you can get past the bickering and *****ing. The decision has to be one that you are comfortable with.  As Shari has said, this surgery should never be for the simply "fat".   Good luck in your choices.

Hello, Thanks for your response. My BMI is 53 and I have occaisional hypertension. My doctor seemed to "dig up" a few more co-morbidities as I described having occaisional lower back pain, heart burn, things like that. Most of the diets I have tried are things like Weigh****chers (the ones you described as making the choice for me). I think you are probably right about the fact that I would get so far and then give up because I wasn't losing anymore.

So, let me ask you this...in what ways did you begin to monitor your caloric or fat intake? I guess part of my proble is I may think this is a good portion size, but the scale says otherwise. Do you know what I mean? What helped you? Thanks for your help and congrats on a healthier you.

Hi again  My BMI when I started was 57.  Losing weight to me appeared to be as hard as emptying out the Atlantic Ocean with a thimble.  It was insurmountable to think that I had over 150 pounds to lose.  How in the world could I attack that at 2 pounds a week?!?!?!? It helps that I am poor and can't even really afford the weekly meetings at weigh****chers, LOL.  So I did South Beach.  It's a simple concept, high protein, low carb and low fat.  At the beginning all I ate was grilled chicken and broccoli or grilled chicken and cauliflower or grilled chicken and (insert vegetable of choice).  I quickly learned what a serving size was.  There are all kinds of guides out there.  3 oz of chicken is roughly the size of your palm, a tablespoon is the size of your thumbnail, etc.  Barring that there are small scales that you can buy for little money so you can weigh your food and of course dollar store measuring cups.  I availed myself of all of them.  I also used a program on self.com which is like fitday and tracked my food religiously.   At the beginning I existed on approximately 800-900 calories a day.  I know that is not nearly enough but I knew that if I didn't lose fast enough I was going to fail at this as well.  I lost 19 pounds in the first three weeks and 40 in the 6 weeks following that.  Ironically enough I was only a few pounds below 300 at that point.  Imagine?  Then I started going to the gym, still eating what I ate but upping the protein a little to account for extra movement, and in the next 8 months I managed to lose another 80 pounds.   You can read my profile if you want to spend a lot of time here LOL.  I started it back in July of 2005 when I started my journey.  I still update frequently although not nearly as much as I should. It's about getting control of you.  That being said I still struggle, badly at times.  I don't know that I will ever be over this umbrella of misery that food delivers to me.  I can only pray that one day I will. Look deep inside, take it one baby step at a time and make changes for life.  You are still at a point where your co-morbidities appear to be ones that can be controlled by proper lifestyle changes. Make YOU important enough to make it count!!

Hi On You appear to be young, like 30 something?  You also do not appear to be as heavy as some. If I am correct, you should keep on keeping on with balanced eating and regular exercise. By balanced i mean making sure you follow the food guide pyramid, being extra careful that you completely understand what a portion, especially of grain products really is. Go to the USDA website and read about it. As we get older, unless you are a competitor or have the life of Reilly to be able to work out 4+ hours daily, we do not need very much grains anymore. Or overall calories for that matter. Buy a scale for home, or at least use measuring cups to see what a half cup of cooked rice looks like (that is one serving, btw).  A slice of bread should not exceed 15g of flour or grain products in order to equal one bread serving. Most commercially sold bread is nearly two servings per slice!  My  WLS speech:  if your BMI is 40 or more and you are 40+ years of age, with or without comorbids, you are a fair candidate for WLS by most surgeons and PCP's yardsticks. Yes, it is a drastic move that will change you physically forever. I have 6  - 3D friends who have had it and are thriving. It has changed their lives for the most positive outcome. None were over 45 BMI, perhaps one was, but not by much more. All had some degree of comorbids. The chances that you will lose it and keep it off the older you are, statisticlaly are not great. WLS offers 10x the chances to lose it and keep it off. In fact, the death rate and complication scale for WLS patients rises the heavier and more years of obesity previous to surgery.  I learned this when i went to my first seminar - the room was filled with VERY heavy, sick, gray faced people. Let's face it, these were not people who were great surgery risks...did they need the surgery...yep.  However, they would have been less risky maybe about 10 years ago when they were still climbing the BMI wall.  having said that, 75% of people who have WLS will regain it in five years. What this says to me is that if you have not faced down your demons with food & exercise, you will be back to square one with or without surgery.  face them down, give it lots of time. It's funny, if i were Queen, I wuld require folks to get one year of counseling for food compulsion while showing proof that you exercised that whole time. Nobody can "diet" like fat people can, so it is confusing to me why in the world docs require people to show a weight loss program before surgery. Shari is the only person who has admitted that she never dieted whatsoever in her life before she did this...she is the only know exception i can think of.  Best of luck, come on in and set for a spell!

Thanks so much for your input. I appreciate you saying I don't look as heavy as some. It must be the picture. :) I have a BMI of 53 and I listed my comorbidities in the post above. I think part of my problem is not knowing what the correct way to eat is. I've tried or have done so many things that I'm wondering what is a good caloric intake? What is good or bad to eat? Know what I mean? It's all become so jumbled in all the years of trying to lose weight. I appreciate what you're saying about WLS. I agree, that if you don't fight the demons it will come back on.

I am currently a member of Overeaters Anonymous, and have lost 17 pounds so far since February.  I am on a 1600-calorie diabetic food plan, and am taking the weight off slowly.  I work the OA program (12 steps), pray every day, talk with my sponsor frequently, and often talk with other members of OA, as well.  I am doing mild exercise just about every day, but I know I need to walk.  It's just that I have a problem with pain in my left heel, which I am going to see a podiatrist about on July 31.  Once that is resolved, I'll be able to walk outside 30 minutes a day with my husband or by myself.

Denise Phares

Welcome to the forum. I think the first thing that helped me "get off the couch" so to speak was finding I weighed in at an alarming 376.  That is the highest I've ever weighed...at least to my knowledge.  After that I bought a scale, but I only weigh myself once a week.  I don't want to get caught up on the number when I know I could still be losing inches.  What did I do next?  I started a food/weight/exercise journal.  In here I write everything I eat and also count calories.  I try and stay between 1300-1500 daily, but some times go over.  I've also been trying to exercise in some way at least 3 times per week.  The result of this change is that I'm making not only healthier food choices, I've also lost 30 lbs in 2-1/2 months.  I don't refer to this as a diet, or I know I'd fail.  I am creating a healthier eating style that I can live with for the rest of my life. Have I ruled out WLS?  Nope.  I'm still looking into it, but taking my time.  If there is any way I can do this without rearranging or cutting off most of my stomach, then I'm going for it.  I know there may come a time when I may need to go the WLS route.  Until then, I take one day at a time and keep working at reinventing a healthier me.