my life - change sucks

so thursday i officially moved away from DC for my year in clemson. it was very, very sad and emotional i think in large part because i have never had to move away from a place i actually wanted to be, where i was happy. and of course my last week, everyone needs to take you out to lunch, dinner, coffee to say goodbye plus one of my friends threw me a party which invoved basically the entire prepared food and dessert section of whole foods. my back is still dying and the hauling around suitcases and boxes is not helping. travel eating sucks. i have been eating a lot of subway but also grabbing snacky things every time i stop to go to the bathroom (which was a lot). still not back on with the exercise between the moving, the back and trying to get back into things post-PS. i have put 1800 miles on my (new) car in the past 2 weeks. i feel completely disgusting. luckily my scale is packed ina box somewhere so i can't get at it. my apartment was a disaster area. apparently i (and my mom and friend) have very different definitions of "clean" and "ready for move-in" than the management company. so that has not helped me feel better about moving. but i am glad that i'm here for good now.  i worked out on the elliptical at the hotel for 35 minutes, so i'm feeling a little better. getting set for a LONG day of moving - all my furniture arrives today so hopefuly i can start settling in a little bit. i start working july 30. another good thing is that my parents decided to get rid of their old treadmill, so i will have a treadmill in my apartment. i plan to join the university gym and hire a trainer as soon as i start working and get my staff ID card. i do for some reason have this hopeful image that everything will be perfect and i will lose like 20 lbs or something. i actually lost most of my weight when i moved to go to grad school in chicago and didn't know anyone and therefore never went out or anything.  i definitely was into some bad habits in DC - like always getting the free cookie at harris teeter. they don't have harris teeter here, so i won't be doing that. and a good grocery store is a 20 minute drive, so i won't be going to the grocery store every day either. i think working and having a structured schedule will force me to be more efficient with my workouts and plan everything a little bit better. and there are very few eating out options here unless i drive 45 minutes to greenville (where there is an indian restaurant - i checked on that already of course...). all the "nice" places here are southern food (i.e. fried and/or covered ingravy), which is totally unappealing to me. i also posted a message on the SC board here and it seems like there are a few people near me who might be interested in being walking or healthy eating buddies. so we shall see. i did order that firm system, just to try something new. i'll let you all know how it goes. naturally they "accidently" added on 3 months of their fat burning vitamins, which i promptly called and cancelled. ugg sorry so scattered. so tired. but thats my life right now...

I hear ya...i love DC!  Only wish I had seen it as a much younger person. The food excursions are unmatched.  Did you ever get your new bike?  check out riding clubs! Or at least some organized rides that can be a goal for yourself. I checked out local rides around here and one can be as busy as she chooses, like every weeknd!!! They can sag you & your bike if you get into a ride that is more challenging than you are prepared for. Nobody is looking for you at the finish line, you can veer off the track and modify rides wherever you like! You will be fine...I know you will find your niche.

Change does suck, but if you change your mind about it, then it might not suck!!!  Look at this as a new adventure a new beginning.  You have said before that you are fairly shy and not very outgoing at times.  Take this time to reinvent andrea!!!!  Think about it as a new start where you get to meet lots of new people that know nothing about you.  Heck, if you are only there for a year then you can even start making stuff up!!! LOL  No sir, just kidding (well maybe not completely) I know I sound like a cheerleader and you want to slap me, but I know how hard change is.  When I got divorced after 18 years of marriage (I got married at 20) I was like a fish out of water.  But I decided I had been so unhappy in my marriage that I would definitely change some things about my life, and I proceeded to do so!!!  Half myself later and a beautiful life with lots of changes, I knew that I had done the right thing. Change is what you make of it, it doesn't have to be bad. 

one of my neighbors has an unsecured wireless network! hurrah! thanks for your kind works (love the new pic by the way!) i know i need to do some cognitive restructuring and look at the situaion differently. it just started off so badly but i'm trying to keep perspective and roll with the punches. my friend and i cleaned out 3 inches of dirt and bugs out of the windowsills and now things are starting to look a little better. despite the fact that my phone line is broken, i apparently have someone else's mailbox key ,and i have yet to recive my pre-ordered harry potter.... but it could be worse... anyway, parents left today so i'm alone here to unpack. i need a few just down days to get some energy back and some pain and tiredness gone.

More for you:  You were tired when you made that post, so after a big rest, don't let that mood shape your new life. Try to put the benefits to the forefront...there must be some, right?  career move, more $, family closer, what????/ Try to envision a miracle that will happen here; 1.  Maybe you will meet the man of your dreams! 2.  Maybe somebody or some group, like you, hates the local cuisine, and you join a really cool cooking club. Taking turns cooking and eating together? I know for me when i am alone for too long a stretch, that is dangerous for how I eat.  3.  ?????  what do you dream, Andrea????

thanks for your positive thoughts.  dreams? i dunno. too tired to dream. maybe later....more money? hahahaha! i'm getting 17K before taxes, no benefits. a little closer to family i guess. but its just one last step that i need to complete in order to be called doctor. i've known all about it for years now (obviously i didn't have any idea where i'd end up!) i haven't gotten a bike yet. i am still thinking about it. while there are lots of pretty roads and such, there are no bike paths or sidewalks so you have to ride in the street, which i'm not sure about. i was able to get the treadmill from my parents though so at least i have something fitness-wise that i can do other than go to the gym on campus. maybe i wil meet the man of my dreams. somehow i doubt that given that 97% of the residents here are undergrad students, of whom we are not really allowed to socialize with. but there's always greenville....and atlanta/charlotte 2 hrs away. i've tried writing a bunch of jdaters in atlanta, but i think they think i'm crazy to be writing them from so far away.  i know that i will learn a lot during this year and finally be put in the real world with a real all day, 5 days a week job, which i've never had before. it will force me to balence and structure things a lot more. and as much as i love DC, i think the change of pace will be nice - i live 5 minutes from work whereas in DC, it took me an hour to go the 14 miles to my practicum at GMU. and having no social life will hopefully allow me to get my binge eating dissertation finished (once i start it).  here's hoping for a better week and a good year of growing....

Change is tough, isn't it? It will get easier sooner than you think. That being said, I HATE moving and I have only moved within the same city during my life. I hereby give you license to take up to a month to recover from that! It also sounds like a really great opportunity to re-invent yourself (as Neecee said) or simply use the structure of your new life to step up your fitness routine. I know it's hard right now, but I actually find the idea of such an opportunity kind of romantic. Have you ever lived anywhere that you were ONLY known as skinny? Anyway, anyone with the strength to lose as much weight as you have...can definitely spin this into a VERY positive move! I know that isn't a whole lot of helpful advice, BUT I do believe it. Please keep us updated!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

you are right  - this is the first place i've been where no one (other than the one college friend) knew me when i was fat. i know its a great opportunity to re-invent myself - i'm just not sure if i'm capable of that. but i'm relaly going to try and push myself as far as being shy and not outgoing and all that.  well now that i'm officially moved in, the parents have left and the dust is starting to settle, i'm hoping i'll start to feel a bit better. the past month really has been completely insane, so in a way, even though this is all new and yucky change etc, at least there will be some stability and predictability in my life now.  thanks for your positive thoughts.

Hey Andy, I LOVE DC too!!!  Such a fun city with lots of history in every corner you turn. It must have been very draining moving yourself to Clemson, but now that you're there you can rest a little and get your bearings.  I agree with Donna, it's a new adventure and time for YOU to reinvent yourself. As you said, it will also give you time to finish your dissertation.  As for the Harry Potter book, believe me it will be worth the wait.  AWESOME book.  Enjoy, it's quite an adventure. I'm quite an optimist so to me it looks like you've got a new adventure ahead of you.  Enjoy it and treasure the moments you have. All the best,  Melinda