I was wondering if others get picked on about weight

I was wondering if I am alone when it comes to people in general picking on you because of your weight? I am a USA citizen living abroad in a foreign country and liking it.  My family back home still ridicules me about my weight, it has caused me to have some depression is this normal?  All answers are welcomed.  I need to hear from others like me I am glad that I have found this site. I look forward from hearing from people. Jenni

Jenni- I weighed 368 pounds, have a belly that goes halfway to my knees, have thighs that have more divots than the ninth hole at a golf course-- and I do back dives off the board in the local swimclub. I'd be surprised if people didn't have *something* to say about me! I'm hard to miss. I have to admit, despite being very lumpy, it doesn't happen much. Maybe once a year. But I get the feeling that people can tell I wouldn't put up with that or something. Little kids are the best. One little boy at the pool-- maybe 4 years old--said, "Mommy, that lady has her arm floaties inside her skin!" The mom was mortified, but oh God, how I laughed! He's right! It is what I look like! Then I showed him how I can float and do flips and handstands, and he thought I was about the greatest thing ever. A lovely experience all around-- and many can be, if you make them that way.  After the initial sting, see what you can do to educate-- and don't tolerate bullying. I have taught middle school for 18 years, and have heard just about everything-- but have *never* been called anything size related by a kid-- I make it clear that's not tolerated.  Occasionally a boy'll say "Ew, that girl's fat" about a classmate. I will rise slowly from my chair, and all the kids around him usually start to duck under their desks...and I say , with my hands on my hips, "I know you meant that in a good way----RIGHT?" The other kids always laugh, and so do I-- and usually I get a private apology and a chance to help them understand the power of language to destroy people. Those moments are priceless too.

Hi Jenni, No, I never get picked on about my weight.  Probably has to do with my age and also my personality.  I wasn't fat as a child so I was never exposed to the cruelty of other children.  My personality is such now that I don't think many people would have the nerve to say anything.  I've been told that I can be pretty intimidating.  But, the bottom line is that you should not take abuse from anyone -- ever.  I've learned that people will only go as far as you let them get away with.  If they know that you won't sit back and take it, they usually back off.  I know that a lot of people who are overweight have low self esteem and little confidence.  But, at some point you have to learn to stand up for yourself.  No matter how fat you may be you deserve to be treated with respect.

hi jenni i dont get picked on because of my weight so much any more, one of the possible side benefits of being a little older! And i am merely obese now, not morbidly obese.  LOL. People don't even make the snide comments that affected me so much some years ago...like...You are big girl! Yes, it depressed me, but in retrospect, it is not normal to let others dictate your state of mind. Now I shake that kind of thing off. when family ridicules your weight, it is much harder to deal with! On the other hand, they are often "too close" to you to make good judgments most of the time, of course there are exceptions to this!  Most parents tend to poo-poo dreams, for example:  you're not tall enough, or made good enough grades, or won't make as much money, or that's stupid. Recognize any of these phrases?  Families tend to label a child worse than society ever will. Love them anyway, but don't listen to them for Cry Eye when the talk is negative! With all the power you have, try not to be condescending to them, but just nod and smile and live your life with a vision for yourself. Pray for protection when you must be around them, i am dead serious. Hold your head up, shoulders back...NEVER let them see you sweat. When the comments come, don't respond especially if you feel anger right at that moment. Wait til you are calm or alone with a big offender and ask levelly..."why would you have said that to me?" If you get all emotional, stop the conversation, but let them know that kind of talk is not appreciated. This way, if they continue, when they think back after you almost never want to be around them, maybe the light will dawn that they did indeed drive you away.  

Hey Jenni, I'm the oddity then; my parents, particularly my father, has gotten on me about my weight.  He does it with good intentions but he doesn't think what it does to me.  It hurts; a lot.  His *****ing was one of the main reasons why I got WLS.  You're not alone.  Just remember that. 

You are not alone Jenni. I got teased a lot growing up. Kids can be so awful. The teasing disappeared as I got older. I can only think of one incident in the last 8-10 years when this has been a problem for me. It happened about a month ago -- I was drinking a black coffee and some crazy man on the street yelled "DIET COKE!" (Get it? He thought I, the fatty, was drinking a soda and needed to put it down.) The good news is it didn't sting at all like it used to. My mom and sister were also very cruel to me growing up.  It's normal to get upset over this stuff. Even though it's really tough to see it this way, I'd say try as hard as you can to understand how sad it is that some people waste their time putting you down. I feel bad for people who are so deluded as to judge others like that.

Thanks for all of you replys they were encouraging.  My parents do not pick on me about my weight, neither does my husband.  It is my Mother-In-Law she told me once while I was in the hospital about to give birth to my fourth child that she was glad that her children are not fat.  The other day she sad that she saw this woman get out of her mini van and her stomach was big and she immediately thought of me, I have been so good to this woman and my husband has jumped her before about making remarks about my weight it looks as if he is going to have to do it again he said.  She always compares me to her slim daughter and as I told her that I am glad her daughter is thin and I wish obesity on no one. I just had enough and I have recently lose 82 lbs and still have more to lose but before I left to move over seas they did not make a rekark about the weight I lost, but if I had gained I would have heard it, but the best part is one said to be what size I was trying to get down too and I said my  8 lbs 7 ozs my birth weight, they actually got mad at me because I made a joke out of the joke they were trying to play on me and I have told the other ones in the family just because you can hide your dirty secrets like smoking, alcoholism, gambling,porn, and so on obese people have to wear theirs daily. Thank You all for responding to me you all do not know what this meant to me.  All my family is thin and friends I am the only overweight one now I do not feel so lonely. Jenni

Jeni, There is no accounting for bad manners is there. Your mil is just that, bad mannered. Your husband and folks sound great. You sound great. I am proud of him for standing up to her. I proud of you for taking good care of yourself and your family. Continue to seek support and approval from those who are worthy. You have come to the right place. By the way, I am not given a hard time about my weight by outsiders or insiders, I am my harshest critic. That is another story. xxookkp