Oh Mother...... Geesh!!

Greetings all.... yep.. this is a vent session about my Mother... Lord knows I love her, but WHEW!!!! My mom has lost a bunch of weight, naturally, no surgery or anything.... so now she is feeling good about herself and making me feeling like crap at the same time.....   Now we have gone shopping on three separate occasions.. if I see something I like and hold it up.... she'll ask what size it is and commence to tell the whole damn department store "That is not your size... you need a larger one" I am thinking to my self... why is she yelling it and why she gotta do that to me...  One time went into the fitting room together... and she tried a shirt on and I wanted to try it on after her... she commenced to tell me again that I needed a larger size.... and when I put on the shirt and it fit me better than it fit her... she got quiet....  So the next time we went shopping... she gonna say... "Everything over here is too big for me.... I am going to the Misses section....they need more largers sizes for your type"... I am thinking WTF... I am your daughter!!!!!     This weekend took the cake....We were at a family reunion.. I commented on how cute my mom's shirt was to her... I asked her the size and she said loud as hell and in front family I have not seen in years "Why ... you cannot fit none of my clothes....matter of fact you need to come and get all the rest of those fat girl clothes out my closet".... I looked at her and walked out the room pissed and embarrassed.... Now mind you the shirt that she was wearing was a 2X... the same damn size I wear....  Now I know she is feeling good about her self because she is smaller now and I have mistakenly commented to her about my weight loss efforts... and she got some of everything to say about it....  But I am feeling like she is making it her mission to down me... and it is ******g me off.....  not sure what to do or how to handle it... Family should be supportive.. and they are not....   Dee Mackie... thanks for sharing your post it.  It helped me realize that I had to get this off my chest.. Thanks for reading...

Ouch!!  Sounds like Mama Bear has a little bite to her.  Also sounds like she a litte insecure and threatened by your weight loss.  You always have the option of pulling her aside and telling her how you feel about her comments.  That might stop her, might not.  If nothing else, feel free to come here and rant to your heart's content.

Thanks Tali...  I was thinking abut taking her for coffee and having the conversation with her... my husband is saying I need to ignore her.... but I am to the point where I do not want to go no where with her anymore...  Thanks for the support... I am obviously gonna need it..

Aww geezus girl.  I'm sorry.  I think your mom is so interested in how well she's doing, and how much younger she feels, that she doesn't realize how she's taking it out on you.  She needs to step back and recognize.

Maybe you should make a comment to her.  Like, the next time you two go out shopping and she pulls the "This is too small for you" stunt, tell her "Gee thanks for voicing that outloud, Ma".  Maybe she'll get the hint.

I bout ready not to go no where with her "no-mo"    I cannot even enjoy shopping because she got some much of everything to say.....      I am proud and happy for her... I really am... but now I am not quick to offer up the compliments to her becaise her head may get too big and suck up all the oxygen!!!

I'm the type of person that has to get things off my chest that are bothering me.  Many moons ago I had an absolutely terrible relationship with my mother.  She was very verbally abusive to me.  I got to the point where I just couldn't take it anymore and if I wanted to maintain my dignity and self-respect, I had to do something.  So, I gathered all the courage I could muster and had a little "talk" with her.  I was delighted that she listened and her attitude and behavior changed towards me immediately.  I was so happy about this because if she hadn't changed her ways I was going to back away from the relationship.  You don't deserve to be treated like crap by anyone, even your mother.

I am gonna tryna and have that conversation when she gets back.....   She is still visiting family.... so this gived me some time to prepare...

Mothers....wow.  My mother is a beautiful and kind giving woman.  As long as you don't tell her she's wrong.  Then she gets all pouty and mean and says things like "oh, I am the worst mother in the world, aren't you sorry to have a horrible mother like me."  LOL  As I got older I started calling her Mary Martyr.  We have a very good relationship now, not while I was growing up though, and i am able to tell her to chill out.   Sometimes the ones we love the most are the meanest to us, for whatever reason.  I guess you can say it's on her and not to worry about it. Just go on like you have been doing and perhaps stop shopping with her.  This way you don't have to deal with that particular situation. 

If my family member had said something like that about a closet of fat clothes i would have said "why should I take all your fat clothes when you obviously need them?!?!"  haha, i'm a ***** sorry.

LOL... Yeah,,, I hear ya... honestly I like spending time with my mom.... but I need to take a shopping break from her.. atleast until we have a littl talk... my hubby is saying just ignore it and toughen up... but I do think that is the best way to handle it for me...

Gosh Diva, all that sounds soooo hurtful! I agree with Tali, if you can, plan to sit down with her in a public place and get it all out, tackfully, gently, kindly (unlike how she speaks to you) Tell her you need to protect your self, and set the boundries. Maybe not shop with her, find a friend who enjoys your company, and shop till ya drop! And ya, family can certainly suck. As adults we can choose our own family from friends.