Why Do I Even Bother?

The last time I saw my dad was a year ago when he visited (lives in another state). He just came out of the hospital a few weeks ago and called me last night. The conversation moved to a cousin who has been hospitalized a few times recently because of GBS (2004) complications. He mentioned that when we saw this relative that same year, about six months post-op, he didn't recognize him. I took this opportunity to mention that a relative had almost walked past me one day a few weeks ago (I posted that vent here a few weeks ago) and I finally gave my dad a solid number of weight loss: 150 lbs. His reaction? "That's a good number for you since you're big-boned -- everyone on [my mom's] side of the family is heavy." I have aspirations for working for WW (or at least having that option) and need to lose at least another 20 lbs., so no, I can't settle for where I am. I immediately regretted saying a word. Last year when he came up this way, that I sent him home with photos of my progress. When he got home he showed them to the entire family and reported their feedback to me. I decided then not to send any more pics, and now I am even more determined not to do so. On top of that, I was OP and still gained 1 lb this week. I was hoping for some kind of bone, LOL. (At least he recognized that I did it without surgery.)

Hey girl, I can only imagine what a bitter pill it is to swallow when we don't get positve acknowledgement from all of your hard work from the very people who should be more supportive and encouraging than anyone else -- our families.  But I'm unclear about something.  Are you disappointed because he was so matter of fact about your weight loss, or are you disappointed because he thinks that you are a a weight that you should be and you shouldn't lose anymore?

He seemed decidedly unimpressed to me -- and I suspected that he thinks he I probably won't lose anymore.  I haven't been at my current weight since I was 11 or 12 (I am 34).  So what if my mother's family was bigger than the other side's?  Heredity isn't destiny! Anyway, we got off and I called him back.  I asked him not to mention my weight loss to anyone else in the family.  I don't want the same reaction from everyone else.  We'll see how long the cat stays in the bag, LOL!

There are just some people that you can't discuss weight loss issues with.  Family relationships can be especially troubling.  I can't discuss weight loss issues with my mother because of things she said to me many, many years ago about my weight that still sting to this day.  Another thing that's ****** me off is how, when you've lost some weight, people seem to feel that you're going to gain it back, and it's just a matter of time.  And rather than supporting you and hoping for the best, they seem almost delighted when the weight starts coming back on.  Not saying that everyone is that way, but unfortunately a lot of people think like that.  As far as I'm concerned, there are very few people that I will discuss weight loss issues with.  That's why is so imporant to have a support group such as ours.  No one understands us as much as we understand each other.

Amen to that....

Hey Dee, Isn't it amazing how unsupportive some people can be?  I just had a similar situation with my dad a little over a week ago.  It made me realize why I don't keep in touch with him as much as I used to.   Don't let one person make you feel bad or down about yourself.  You have done an AWESOME job.  150lbs...such an inspiration!!!  I think your aspiration to work for WW is such a wonderful goal.  Think of all the support and help you will be giving people.  YOU understand where they are and give them the support they need to succeed.

Aspirations of working for WW can be true. You have to be a Lifetime Member. I worked for WW in the early 90's and actually turned in my paperwork this past Saturday to work for them again. My story is complicated at best but I can tell you that I havent given up and working for WW has many opportunities. Hang in there..................

You should be very proud of yourself.... Sometimes family is so unsupportive.. it is sad... You should be excited for yourself...  and to have done it without surgery... GIRL... that is awesome....  ***BIG HUG***    You keep up the execellent work!!!