What ONE thing are you Struggling With?

 

Hi All, As we go through this adventurous journey all of u**** bumps in the road along the way.  I’m a firm believer that there is a solution to almost any problem, we just have to come up with a strategy and put that strategy into action.  I thought it would be helpful for all of us, who desire to do so, to share a problem that we are struggling with in our weight loss journey and discuss what are action plan is to overcome it.  It could be something that has to do with exercise, food or both.  If you haven’t already come up with a strategy to deal with the problem, maybe we could give suggestions.  Okay, so I’ll start. As you all know, I decided that I would make all of my Saturdays “free days” in which I allow myself to eat whatever the heck I want.  I will be doing this for the foreseeable future.  Where the problem comes in is that more often than not my free for all Saturdays spill over into my Sundays.  What happens is that I always have junk left over from Saturday because I simply can’t eat all the crap I buy on Saturday.  Looks good in the store, but really, there’s only so much damage  you can do in one day.  Sometimes I buy stuff that I don’t even open up on Saturday.  Now, of course, I could just buy less stuff but what’s the fun in that.  On Sunday morning when I first wake up, I know, of course, that the leftovers are still around, but I always tell myself  that “I’ll throw it out later”.  And when I think that thought, I have every intention of doing just that.  But, as the day goes on and I don’t get rid of the stuff, it starts calling my name and I break down and finish the stuff off.  So, here’s what I’ve decided to do: It’s simple really.  On Saturday night before I go to bed, or if I forget, the very first thing on Sunday morning after I tinkle, I will gather all of the leftovers in a bag and ceremoniously walk them out to the big garbage cans in the alley.  Sounds wasteful, maybe so, but I rather have it in the garbage than on my hips.  That’s it, problem solved. So, what are you struggling with and how do you plan to overcome it?

see its that "if i forget" part that would do me in. maybe you could tie it all up in a garbage bag saturday night or set your cell phone alarm to go off at 11 pm to remind you (i realize probably not a good idea to go to the alley at 11 pm in chicago). OR your off day could all be eating out so you never bring the food into your house in the first place. so you go to the ice cream parlor instead of buying a gallon at the store. i dunno just some other options to consider.... i waste a LOT of food. just as you said, better to be in the a garbage then on the hips. lots of time i'll biy something - especially baked goods - that look so good but really aren't so i take a few bites and toss in. another thing i do if i cannot get rid of something right then is a ruin it by throwing pepper, dish soap whatever on it so it definitely would be gross tasting. are you still doing seattle sutton?

Hi Andy, I wasn't looking for suggestions, I think what I've already come up with will work for me.  If it doesn't I'll try something else.  I'll let everyone know how it goes. Yes, I'm still eating and enjoying my SS meals.

i understand that. i was responding merly as discussion. as in, i have also struggled with this issue and here are some things that helped me deal with the problem. you never know who is reading these posts and perhaps someone struggling with similar issues might welcome alternative ideas. i think its always a good thing to have options. of course i hope your plan works flawlessly for you.

Hmmm...I wi**** was only one thing-- but I have several concurrent issues. I think the hardest one for me is going to be losing my personal identity. I have grown to enjoy my position as the Accomplished Fat Woman-- I like being a role model in that regard, and have learned to love my roundness over time. I've had a larger than life Opera Singer from Valhalla sort of image-- I am even our school's mascot at events (we are Vikings--I have a special vest and braids and horns and a sword and everything!) I know it's hard for a lot of people to understand, but it's kind of like this: most people would agree it's challenging to be black in America. Most people of color would not change their color because being black is part of who they are. Being fat is part of who I am too. It's taught me a million things I wouldn't have learned otherwise. Until it started injuring my body, my fat was a helpful tool in my development.  And besides, I can float like you would not believe. I did 6 hours straight, once, backfloating while reading a book. So my round firm body is getting all hangy and hollowed out. And I am gonna miss the gal, and all her comforts-- her heaving bosom, her mashed-potatoes-and-gravy. And I am gonna be cold. And my butt bones are already hurting.  Yeah, I'll miss me, is what I am saying. That's my biggest struggle right now.

Wow, Shari.  I don't think I have ever met someone who was so truly  "comfortable in her own skin."  (I mean comfortable in an emotional/mental context; I know that physically it was painful and killiing you.)  You probably know other women like you from size acceptance groups that you have mentioned before, but I have never known anyone to think so kindly ****il it started injuring you) of their fat.  To miss that must truly be a struggle especially in that there would be few, if any, who would REALLY know how you feel.  All the women whom I have ever heard talk about losing weight have HATED how fat they were and missing it when it was gone would be the last thought to enter their minds.  I would think it would feel a rather lonely journey.  Is it?

Yep. There's not a single person I know who feels as I do, although by BF and best friend do seem to "get it." OH boards are full of women who demonize their fat-- blame it for everything from not getting laid since the Carter administration to why they live in a trailer with 46 cats...and it's really just not my experience. And the size acceptance world probably thinks I'm a scab for reducing my volume. They often promote fat at any cost-- even if the cost is immobility, chronic pain, what have you. You know, B.--- the fact of the matter is any one person's life is a singular journey. The path I need to walk now is so abundantly clear to me that I can't really get bogged down in the loneliness. I was something of a trail-blazer on the way up-- and will endeavor to be one on the way back down as well. I don't hate my fat because I know the truth--- fat doesn't hold us back unless we let it-- but weight does. There is a distinction. My size is not and never has been an excuse for living half a life. And when the weight started to decrease my ability to live, I realized I have to let it go. Thanks for understanding. Yeah, I guess it is kinda lonely-- but it's not so hard to be lonely when you know you have it right.

Shari, I have learned a lot from you.  Well actually things I already knew, but you helped solidify in my mind.       1.  Being fat is not the worst thing in the world.       2.  Being thinner is not the root of all happiness       3.  I need to lose weight so I can get healthier in order to prevent some of those comorbidities while I am still healthy enough to do so. And you did it all with a sense of humour.  I love that about you.

You blaze that trail, girl.

Shari -- Although you are coming from a perspective that most people can’t understand, including fat people, I think I get where you’re coming from.  You have actually managed to get to the point where you’re not only comfortable in your skin, but in many ways, you like it and are proud of it.  So, it’s not strange to me that you would feel a great sense of loss (no pun intended) as you continue to lose weight.  I guess we could even say that you’re going through something that resembles a mourning period.

 

But now for the being fat and being Black in America analogy.  Shari, only you and you alone would actually come up with that one.  I am Black and would never change my skin color (even if I could), but it just amazes me that you would feel that way about obesity.  Girl, you are truly one of a kind.

Tali-- Hope the analogy didn't offend. I do a lot of work in race relations with the Anti-Defamation League, and that question came up once-- and the responses were a resounding, "No-- I wouldn't change my color for ANY gains it might provide" ---which many of the white people attending found shocking, somehow. It was an interesting experience. I'm not trying to imply those experiences are the same, though--- I know they're not. It just came to mind. On the topic of race-- I often feel a need to thank the literally hundreds of African American people I have known throughout my life for consistently treating me tenderly and respectfully, regardless of my size. During the entire time I worked in the city (and taught there-- many years all told) I found the black community to be infinitely more accomodating of my size than their white suburban counterparts. It was actually sad to have to leave-- that was a struggle too-- but the district was going private and I had to protect my career and jump ship. I miss that inclusive sisterhood. And one more thing-- it's been my experience that a lot of fat black women are very wise-- and MUCH less likely to be sitting at home on a Friday night than white ones. These woman have been some of my strongest role models. Struggle is universal-- but what you do with the hand you are dealt reveals a lot on the way of character. If I have learned that at all, it's in no small part because of the role that big black women have played in my life. I'm forever indebted.