What ONE thing are you Struggling With?

Shari -- I wasn't offended in the slightest.  You're right oftentimes Black people are less likely to discriminate because of what we have been through ourselves.  Not implying at all that this is always the case.  And, yes you're also right about a lot of Black women being much more comfortable being fat than their white counterparts.  That can be a good thing (very few Black women have eating disorders such as anorexia -- although with assimilation that is changing), and a bad thing (the number of obese Black women in America is staggering). Oh, and another thing, they're some wonderful white women out there too.

My biggest struggle is all the treat food that my parents bring to my house.  I don't buy junk food, but my parents bring it to our house ALL the time.  A lot of it doesn't really appeal to me and I have no problem resisting it, but some of it. . . .  I tell myself it's for the kids, and not for me, but that doesn't always work either because believe me there's enough for everybody Please don't tell me to ask them not to bring treats to their grandchildren.  I can'/won't.  Any other suggestions you may have I would be very open to hearing.

Yeah, my mom had to do it 'for the kids" too. I *am* The Kids. And I grew up to weigh 368 pounds. And she's 288 pounds. You can't stop gramma from bringing treats-- but you could say, "Mom, I'm worried about the kids' health. I am pretty big and am concerned that they may one day struggle too, so we're trying to limit their treats" and see what she says-- you don't even have to connect it with her bringing stuff.  Truth is (and you know this) that they really don't need it either. It's hard-- I know. SIg Ot's got 8 kids-- and I sometimes give them snacks so I can enjoy them vicariously-- but I know its no good.

B, You know something, I think the pat answer of "don't let them bring it to your house, it's not good for anyone." is not the right answer for everyone. Interestingly enough, and this is hard for me to believe, not EVERYONE has a huge problem with food!!!!! Imagine that?!??!? I can't.  I cannot for the life of me understand a person who says "I don't like junk food."  I want to enlighten them to the absolute pleasure of a thousand calorie cinnamon bun or a box of chocolate chip cookes.  LOL I jest -- well maybe not all the way. 

I don't see a problem with having sweets in the house IF one can control themselves around that type of food.  My SO is like that.  I can buy him "junk food" and he can keep it for weeks upon weeks, almost to the point of needing to be thrown away, before even remembering he has it there or wanting it.  My son and me on the other hand know it's there, it calls to us, it needs to be eaten in record time, or it isn't worthy of existing!!!   Sooooooooooooo we don't have it in the house, period.

Shari and Donna Thank you both for your replies. Neither my husband nor my kids really have a problem with eating too much junk food.  When we have cookies or cake or stuff in the house, it usually goes stale unless I eat it.  If I have managed to resist until it gets to that point I have no problem throwing it away.  I don't throw it away before then because if I do, dh or kids will ask for it.   I do limit my kids' intake of treat food.  They have to have eaten a proper meal before they can have dessert etc.  If in the middle of the afternoon they seem to want to pig out on sweets I stop them and make them eat something better for them.  My nine and a half year old weighs 35 pounds less than I did at the same age.  I want them to be able to behave responsibly around junk food, not feel like they have to eat it all at once, or in secret or that they need to eat it just because it's there.  My husband is at a normal weight and so far so are all of my kids.   This struggle is my own.  I know what I need to do; I just have to do it.  I can't really blame it on my parents; it 's just that I recognise that it's MY personal struggle.

Hi B-, 

 

Okay, I won’t suggest that your parents don’t bring the treats.  Here are my suggestions, not really mine, I’m currently reading a book by Dr. Stephen Gullo who is a specialist that treats overweight people.  Through the years he’s come up with all kinds of strategies for all types of situations.  He wrote the book “Thin Tastes Better”.  The book I’m reading now is entitled “The Thin Commandments Diet”.  Anywho, here are his suggestions for the problem: Don’t leave any junk food out or on the kitchen counter cause it’s too easy to mindlessly grab and pop in your mouth. Have your family members keep the junk food in their rooms. If you have to have junk food in the house try to make it only junk food that you don’t like so you won’t be tempted. Keep the junk food in a cabinet out of sight and out of reach if possible (sort of goes with the first suggestion). Lock up junk food in a cash box that you don’t have the key or combination for. Yeah, some of the suggestions sound extreme but if it works so what.

Thank you, Tali. These are some good suggestions and a couple of them I have used in the past and it has helped a lot.  Thank you for the reminders.  I do so much better when I keep all the snack food out of sight.  My kids are 9, 7, 5 and nearly 2, so I'm NOT letting them keep the cookies in their rooms.  I've thought about keeping it in the basement.  Then it would require a set of stairs to get to.   I read that one somewhere else online.  Haven't tried it yet, but am thinking I might.

Hey B., Maybe when your parents parents want to bring a treat, you can suggest a couple types that you know your family loves, but you don't crave.  That way your parents still get to treat the family, but it's not such a temptation to you.  Putting the treats in the basement is another good suggestion.  At work people bring in treats all the time.  When those people on my floor do, I simply stay out of the kitchen and then I'm fine.  When people from the floor below us bring treats in, then I would need to go down a flight to their breakroom to get them.  I don't do that...the stairs are a great boundry.   Melinda

Hi Tali, My current bump in the road is grazing and sneak-eating.  So I have developed strategies.  One of them is thanks to Shari who said she did no snacking, because there were no boundaries.  That made a whole heck of a lot of sense to me, and I realized she was right on the money.  So I've reverted back to the beginning of my journey where I would eat 5 times a day.  These are going to include, of course, breakfast, lunch and dinner.  I will gauge my hunger mid-morning and see if I require a "snack" which in my case would be a pre-wrapped cheese stick.  If I do not require it then I will gauge my need for it between lunch and dinner.   My night time snack will be as it has been for almost 2 years, a sugar free fudgsicle or pre-made sugar free pudding with a tablespoon of lite whipped cream. All journeys start with a single step and for the past two days I have stuck to my resolution.  Interestingly enough today I am completely alone at work (summer in a middle school).  I know where there is food but I have not been tempted to seek it out at all.  This is a perfect time for me to do sneak eating and instead of I have focused on a project I am working on, and lurking and posting on the OH boards.  So for me this is a HUGE step. good luck with your Saturday venture.  Sounds like you  have it all thought out!

Hey Donna, One of the reasons that I love this forum is the way we learn from each other.  As I've said before, none of this is "one size fits all", what will work for me won't necessarily work for you and vice versa.  It's with the sharing of thoughts, ideas and opinions that we can really help and support each other.