How did you get fat?

My story is simple.  I've been fat my whole life.  I was a perfect child and my parents rewarded me with food.  In my teen years, I was an A student, and first violinist and again, my parents rewarded me with food.  I learned that whenever I felt accomplished, food was associated, so therefore, food made me feel good.  This of course lead to over eating, which lead to obesity.  I used food as a drug - as a pick-me-up.  If I ate, I felt the same as I did if I had accomplished something.  I felt rewarded.  Who wouldn't want to feel rewarded all the time?  So I ate - ALL the time.  I ate huge portions and very often.  It's how I masked my depression and bipolar disorder.  If I was having a bout of depression or a fit of mania from being bipolar, I'd "cure" it with food.  Eating made me feel good, it soothed me, made me tired and calm.  Only until recently (and I mean within the last 3 years) have I realized what calm feels like and that it's not the same feeling as being over-stuffed.  And that's how I got fat. :)

I was an average sized but severely mentally ill child. Weight started piling on at menarche-- and I gained ten pounds every year ever since. Most of my family is morbidly obese, with a couple members over 400 pounds, but it's predominently my poor food choices and sedentary lifestyle that make me very overweight. I used food as a sedative and a reward for a hard day's work. I have a lot of mental energy, and would work all day, eating very little...then would come home wound like a three day clock, with two McDonald's bags in tow, then eat-- in front of the TV or computer-- in a fugue state-- until I couldn't move and zone out. Then feel like hell because I lacked the energy to do laundry, clean up, or exercise.

Then, I'd do it again.

I was thin as a child and while growing up.  I started gaining weight in my mid-20s, purposely and with malice of forethought.  I was having a lot of trouble dealing with men and relationship issues.  I was incredibly shy, insecure, had very low self-esteem and had no idea what I wanted or how to get it.  I did not have the maturity or the confidence to deal with men and I wanted them to leave me alone.  I got my wish by eating myself out of the dating pool.

I'ev heard that before, and know a lot of people feel the same way--- but I gotta say, Tali-- I don't get that. My mom used to tell me she thought I was doing that as well, but even at 368 pounds, I had no problem attracting friends and lovers-- the notion of being too fat to be wanted is hard for me to wrap my head around. True-- the dating pool was smaller-- but I only needed one at a time anyway---most nights.

Shari I think it really has a lot to do with how the "fat" person feels about themselves.  I've known many large women who feel the way you do.  They feel that even though they're heavy that they are attractive and they are not lacking in self-confidence.  I think the vast majority of men do not give fat women a second look.  Yes, I know that there are men who find fat women appealing, but they are in the minority.  But, if the fat woman is confident and feels that she is attractive and carries herself in a confident manner, I think that there is a much greater chance that a man will also find her attractive, even if he is not normally attracted to heavy women.  I had no self confidence or esteem nor much of a personality to speak of when I was young and thin, so gaining the weight didn't lower my self-esteem any more than it already was, it just gave me that barrier that I needed to keep the men from wanting to even approach me.  And, I certainly wasn't going to pursue them. Does that make things a little clearer?

Yep! I think I geddit now--- thanks!

I don't know that I truly know the answer to this.  I was always a "big girl".  I was 5'8" and my Mom and sisters were 5'4".  I was not fat though, I was big.  I remember vividly getting heavier when I was 13 years old.  Ironically it was also the time that the affects of my 8 years of sexual molestation at the hands of my grandfather were revealed.  I've read stories where some would say I gained the weight to be less attractive to men, less appealing so nobody would want to touch me.  I don't know that I buy that.   I got married at 20 years old and spent 18 years being pretty empty emotionally.  I was 188 when I got married and my heaviest was somewhere in the low 400's.  I think the answer to how I got fat is easy.  I ate crap, all the time, every day, all day, heaps and heaps of it. I'm not sure the question should be HOW did you get fat, perhaps it should be WHY did you get fat.

Hmmm, such a good post.....Well, I've always been "The heavier twin".  Not by much, maybe 20lbs.  After I was treated for thyroid and went on WW ( Jr. High), I lost all the excess wt.  Fast forward, gained 50lbs during pregnancy.  I was slowing losing it, then at 3 yrs. old, my DD developed a "Orphan diaease".  I was able to keep the wt. at bay untill we moved from a supportive small town, to a large (sucky) city, with very little support.  So, I've supported myself by snacking...alot!  Ya, the same as everyone else, comfort eating.

My issues with weight began very early in life.  I was relatively normal until the first or second grade, at which time I started to outweigh other girls my age (and some of the boys!).  Puberty hit before I hit age 10, and by then the damage was done. 

 

When I started the fourth grade, I became a latchkey kid.  This meant that no one was at home to monitor what I was eating, and I started to gain an average of eight to 10 pounds every year.

 

I was 185 when I graduated from eighth grade in 1986.  I started high school and my poor eating habits continued.  I ate a light breakfast, but most days I wouldn’t eat lunch.  Even with two lunch shifts, my small high school didn’t have enough seats for everyone assigned to that lunch period, so rather than risk a detention for getting caught eating in a classroom, I wouldn’t eat anything at all.  After school, I was involved in a few activities, so I wouldn’t get home many days until 4 p.m., and then I went to the corner store and bought some canned pasta, a 16 oz. bottle of regular soda, and a package of cupcakes.  Then my mom came home and made dinner, and I ate again.  By the end of senior year I weighed 202. In college I had three scholarships to maintain, so I didn't get much exercise.  During my last three semesters, I was assaulted twice.  The second time, I started a destructive habit that very day:  I took the bus to the local theater and sat through two matinees.  I sat alone in the darkness for hours with only a big candy or large buttered popcorn for company.  I did this during many weekends and during each of my breaks for the rest of the school year, and for many years after I started working.

 

When I started working, I would walk from the train station to my office (10 blocks maximum), but this stopped, and I found myself waiting on a bus that passed the area every day.  In addition, my takeout habit bumped up from only Fridays to almost every day – breakfast and lunch.  I worked late hours two nights a week and these nights involved lots of pizza, soul food and deli selections.  It wasn’t hard to gain about 10 pounds annually.

  With such poor habits, it's no wonder I got as heavy as I did.

I was a lways thicker than all the girls growing up but I never would call it fat. I was always between 150-170 Just thick I liked myself that way. But as soon as my senior year in high school hit my mother was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, I hit rock bottom and found comfort in food. I would just eat and eat. I ended up getting up to 200 and graduated probably at 200 or 205 and from there on out those next three years I reached my highest 276. So yea I haven't always been fat just recently. And now I have faith that I can accomplish this!