Question - how do you deal with...

The part of you that wants the weight to come off immediately? I'm smart -- it took me to 22 to reach my highest weight, and I know there's no way it's all going to come off in two months. Yet I'll never lose that desperate feeling of...well, now I'm ready! Now I'm emotionally ready to do this? Can I have a prize please? I'M SICK OF BEING OBESE! I have good days and bad. Some days I see the light at the end of the tunnel but today I don't see it at all. I did well and even walked 3 miles (a lot for me; I'm very out of shape). My obesity definitely came about due to intense food addiction, and because of that, I haven't really lived the way I'd want to as a young person (thus the desperation to lose some weight already and reclaim my life). So -- whatever your situation, and whatever ways obesity has affected you, how do you take some pride in what you're doing rather than just feeling HOPELESS? I've set weight loss goals for myself for the next 4-5 months (1 a month) with a prize at each, so that should be fun if I can make it. But otherwise, UGH!

All I can say is that for me, I pretty much have to break the task into daily pieces.  Ask myself what can I do TODAY toward my goal.  I try to make sure i do some form of exercise most days.  I think about what fruits and vegetables I can add to my food plan. I noticed years ago that I do not feel as hungry if I eat daily greens and fresh fruit and lots of protein.  I do pretty well most days.  Even though I have not been at my ideal weight for years, i have learned to be gentle on myself.  I know I do the best I can most days.  Oh we all have bad days...for me it is often the why do I even try feeling. Best to just get thru it and NOT EAT to ease the pain.  I also have the idea I am doing this for myself, the actions of making best choices are self love. I would not dream of intentionally giving my beloved grandsons crappy foods and making them sloth around every day. I do give myself rewards, but often I ponder these are things i need to just do for myself, not to be rewarded.  It is already the highest service to ME!

Sonora, the only advice I can give is "patience and perserverence".  You're right, you won't lose it overnight.  But, know that every step you make in the right direction is important.  I realized just the other day that I have made changes in the past few months that were not the easiest, but they stick with me.  I take time to make a conscious decision of what I will eat BEFORE preparing something to eat.  Sure, sometimes I want Fruit Loops, but instead I have an apple with l.f. peanut butter.  I'm making better food choices -- something I didn't do before.  Just take it day by day and make the choices that are best for you.  You will get there!!  God bless

Hi Sonora,  I agree with Sonja, its really  day by day by day... It sounds like what we have always heard. Days turn into weeks, weeks into months...Well, you get the jist of it.  I think for me, instead of beating myself over the head with the BIG ammount of wt. I have to lose, I've broken it down into REALLY small ammounts.  Now, this is something I'd always heard/read about, and I thought, ya right, yada, yada... But it is so true when you look at it like this.  Even 5lbs. makes a difference.  No, can't wear hot pants, but maybe my shoes aren't so darn tight, or I can bend over and pet the dog eaiser.  Then the next 5 lbs. the seatbelt fits better, and now added together its 10 lbs. and on and on.... Remember, if a person who has WLS looses 100 lbs. in a year, and you do also, its averaged out to 8lbs. or so per month. The WLS person may lose it faster at 1st, but it slows way down, and in the end it all evens out! Sorry I was so long here, hope this helps!

Thanks guys...for dealing with me on such a frustrating afternoon. It really helps. I guess it's just going to take time for me to GET what I already "know" -- that it's not all going to fall off in the first week. It's hard to think about the time that I had lost some weight and was a lot more outgoing than usual. It's like I obsess over 185 as my magic number, and I must get there NOW NOW NOW! It's not my goal weight, but I feel like after that, I'd be okay with a pound a week, or whatever. Yet even 185 is 53 pounds away. 53 POUNDS!!! That's a LOT!!!

I would suggest trying Overeaters Anonymous.  It deals directly with food addication, and gives you the support of your Higher Power and a support group.  Please consider it, and try not to be in a hurry to lose your weight.  I was always in a hurry, but I've heard it's healthier if you lose it a little more slowly.

Denise Phares

 

Sonora, I don't look at my end goal or even a big goal, or it will drive me absolutely bonkers.  What I have done is set myself in a position where I won't think I'm failing.  In other words, I have made goals for myself, but not given deadlines.  Some people can do that, but for me that won't work.  I would feel like a failure when I know I'm not.  I have a lot of mini and then big goals written out where I give myself non food rewards.  Such as once I lost 6lbs I was going to rent a chick flick.  That was my first goal because I have never really monitored my weight before.  Now my next goal is fast approaching and when I meet that I'm going to treat myself to a movie at a theater.  These are little challenges to works towards.  I also have big goals such as when I lose 100 lbs I'm going to get an IPod nano.  My DB and I decided when we reach both of our goal weights we're going to Italy for a vacation.  Now to lose the weight I am counting my calories and exercising where I can.  I try to stay in the 1,300-1,500 calorie range, but don't beat myself up when I go over.  I think the big thing is I keep a food and exercise journal.  This helps me to hold myself accountable and see what I'm eating.  As for exercise, last week I used my 2mile walking DVD once and my 1 mile walking DVD twice, on top of just walking.  As I lose more weight I'll be able to up my exercising. Melinda

Hi Sonora, Yes, I understand what you mean.  When you make up your mind that you're finally going to try to lose the weight, it's very hard to be patient.  Patience, or lack thereof, has been my downfall in previous weight loss attempts.  

But, I understand that if I’m going to be successful and finally lose all the weight I have to lose, patient is what I must be.  It’s natural though to want to just wake up one morning and find that you’re now a normal size.  Unfortunately it just doesn’t work that way.  Unless you’re willing to have WLS, the weight is not going to just fall off.  What I’m focusing on this time around is making positive and permanent lifestyle changes.  As far as my weight loss, I’m concentrating on losing 10% of my weight at a time.  When you lose just 10% of your weight, your health benefits improve dramatically, even if you still have a lot of weight to lose.  So, my first 10% will be 25 pounds, so that’s what I’m focusing on. Even if you have a long way to go, try to take pride in the fact that you’re taking positive action towards making positive changes.  Yes, it will get frustrating and sometimes feel like it’s taking forever.  But, just know that each day that you keep going you’ll get that much closer to your ultimate destination, even if you take a few side trips.