Warning: VERY controversial question

Hugs to you Sonora. I appreciate your comment.  This day and age is rough.  Appearance is everything. And I have to aggree with you I was the same way...well still am sometimes...food is my friend and gives me satisfaction.....I hate that.

Once upon a time there was a brilliant man by the name of ****ro who said "Suum Cuique"; To each his own. At the end of the day you have no one to answer to but yourself.  Whether your reason is for vanity or health, when you feel hopeless and WLS looks like your golden light, go for it.  Shari, your little "tool" comments were ridiculous and uncalled for.  We all have different ways of doing things and just because they don't meet YOUR standards gives you no right to judge.  I had WLS and you know what? I lost 38 pounds before I had it, and yes, I worked hard at it but that doesn't mean that every person who has time on their hands can be a successful weight loser.  Regardless, we all have a POV.  And I say "To each his own".

Judgement is a human right. It's what thinking people do. We analyze. We judge. Fact of life. In this case, it was the judgement of the creators of these surgeries and those who perform them that they should be reserved for those with significant medical co-morbidities. I am going to defer to their judgement, and believe their reasons for it are just and wise. I will, however, do my level best to disengage myself from those who do not fall in that category and silently wish them well. The fact is, some people really think their looks are worth the risk. So be it. I'm incredulous, but people have the right to do as they will. I apologized and explained the language already. Not much more I can do about that. I am very angry about the vast masses now opting for wholly unnecessary surgery, and sometimes it makes me say things I'd rather not say.  Will not happen again.

OMG, after reading this I need at least twinkie!!!!!!!!   Look I feel fortunate that I have been successful for the last 3 1/2 years slowing losing 220lbs.  Yes, there were set backs.  I never thought I was going to break 300, but did.  And right now, I feel like 199 is light years away, although it only right around the corner.  It may take me until December to do it, but wow, it will be great.   WLS was never a consideration for me.  Honestly, I wanted to be able to eat a big piece of cake and enjoy it, not having to worry about throwing it up.  And I knew it was time.  I lost weight before, but regained.  But this was different.  I feel different.  I love exercising, eating right.  I feel great.   Shari, I don't think you meant anything harmful with the word "tool" and I didn't take offense to it.   I respect your dedision and you feel you need surgery.  I am happy that this decision will make you a healthier person-which I agree is what WLS is intended for.  And, kudos for making lifestyle changes beforehand.  But Christa, man, I hear where you are coming from.  I love looking good.  It does make me feel good about myself.  I dont' think that will ever change.  Shari you are very confident, wow, how confident.  I wish I had that.  That is something I am slowly learning.  I have also been learning that most people worth having as friends, lovers, pals  really don't care (and I mean that in a good way). They see you as a good person not as a 250 lb, hips to big, double chin, love handles, likes to eat too much monster many of us think we are.  Being thinner has made me a more confident, happier person, alive, worldly person.  So, I get you.  Do what makes you happy. I agree with Chris, people spend five years fighting for this surgery instead of making life changes because they feel that is their only option.  They try diets and fail because it's hard to get past what you don't know or already feel won't work.  I know this worked for me now because I finally accepted the fact that when I made this change, I was going to have to do it for the rest of my life.  I accept that, like you do, Donna, I believe. And, wholeheartedly agree: to each their own.  

Do you know that when the world comes to an end there will only be ****roaches and twinkies??? LOL Thank you very much for your post.  It was a beautiful ending to this thread that got a bit out of hand at times.  At work I have people that come and vent to me and then apologize for it afterwards.  I say to them "if you knew me at all you'd know how thick skinned I am." Everyone is entitled to their opinion and the beautiful people that come to this board have such a wide range of experiences, emotions and lives.  They are all wonderful and it was amazing reading all these posts, even the long ones, because people really have strong feelings about their weight.  As I said and will continue to say, everyone has the way they need to go to deal with their issues.  And everyone has their own bottom that they have to reach before they find the strength to do what they need to do, in whatever form it needs to come in. I don't believe my own way is the only way, not by a long shot.  But it is MY way, and that way worked for me. Thank you again!!

Well, I'm right and you're all wrong so change your ways now and believe what I believe!! It is the only way, less you suffer my wrath!!!  This was a great thread and it has resparked my desire to lose the weight. I'm not sure how that happened but I found myself grabbing for my water bottle a lot more often yesterday. I also found myself planning my dinner and how much I was gonna eat and then eating a little less again.  Many of you know I have been struggling for the last month or so to get back on track.  I am still not on track and I'm hanging around 296. No loss, no gain for the last month or so.  I'm ready to start losing again!

I'm with you on that one Chris....I'm still not totally on track...for some odd reason I just can't get back on the wagon. Soon it will happen, I know it will. I'm hoping it's today....It will be damnit! There I just took a drink of my water! ha! lol. Well I still hope to win the lotto this monday lol.....2million or even 100,000. :) Oh yea...guess what I would do with some of that money........

     Hi all,      I read many boards here  before I actually joined. This is my first post. I have to thank everyone on all the forums who share so much. This thread has been really interesting to read. someone who has tried numerous times to lose weight and am on the pre-op diet now- I find myself continuing to research to make the last decision.      I have lost 30 plus pounds on the pre-op diet. One key reason it has been easier to stick to was my surgeon (NOT the nutritionist) examind my daily life/eating patterns and saw I eat breakfast(if at all)  very early. He also saw I ate lunch after 1PM. He told me to put about 150 calories of food (not junk) in me around 11 AM and always eat breakfast. I travel from one school to aother around that time. If I feel hungry, I drink an Atkins shake before I leave, sometimes drink it before I enter the 2nd school, and occasionally after Ieave. I chose the shake for convenience and the low carb impact. I keep a few in the car for "emergences".     I'm eating breakfast daily- 1cup 1% milk, Dannon 60 cal yogurt, 1/2 slice 8 grain Healthy Bread and one cup of berries is my usual during the week.     Tracking my intake and activity on fitday.com (free) has also been an enormous help. Whe I left my surgical consult, I was handed a 1200 calorie diet to begin when I left the office. Interesting- it was put-up or shut up time. Losing weight takes work and also takes relearning BAD habits into good ones. It is necessary to be successful to use the WLS as a tool as it is intended.      My life is insanely busy & people at work have noticed my weight loss. People have asked me for copies of it and I have shared. As far as immediate pre-op diet- my surgeon was so pleased with my ok- he said jut keep doing what you're doing- whi*****ludes exercise of some kind every day. No soft/liquids for me.      I've considered WLS for at least 2 years, after a nurse I knew had it but didn't tell anyone. That bothered me because as a nurse mysef, I almost felt she was ashamed of it. I also had to decide or get past feelings of possibly being seen as a nurse who "should be able to take care of herself- she knows better." I also feel it is such a serious choice, it is not a quick choice. Much thought has to go into it.       Also who to go to? I just didn't want to pick somone out of a book. That finally happeed this year.      I've only shared my WLS decision with two people at work  so far, because I need to be a little selfish and keep finding my own answers. I can't help others till I help myself. I also want to be fully educated/well-versed because it is such a serious surgery.    A fellow teacher had the Band and I watched her progress/journey as she has continued to lose weight. Another friend has gastric bypass. I was lucky to have friends who answered my questions.      I've still been able to eat an occasional dessert and lose the weight. It was early in the beginning of my diet days (Apri 28th), but just yesterday morning I had a piece of cake. My fellow colleagues had baked me a cake/gave me gifts and celebrated how much I was going to be missed. I ate a small piece- not tiny- not as large as I would have before Apri 28. No seconds. I then returned to my normal pattern. Well not really- I was cryin on and off all morning- but never considered eating another piece. In a normal situation, I would have totally refused any cake, but I knew noone was trying to sabatoge me. (I had gone upstairs looking for fruit, bause I had forgotten to grab it and on Fridays we have "breakfast.") I made light of it and called my cake "my fruit serving."      Yesterday was a wacky day for me. Rushed to get a stat CBC before work, touched by so many in the morning, crying on and off all day, teaching in the afternoon, showing off my new car, an then attending a dinner for a special woman only to sit across from a woman I detest wih numerous good reasons. It ended with me leaving to get to my preop clearance appt. on time.      I am really pleased at my committment. I am afraid of falling "off the wagon" completely. I realize WLS is only a "tool". It will help me reach my goals.      I am allergic to peanuts. I have often said, "If only I was allergic to food, I would be thin."      If I hadn't had so many years of different diets, high levels of exercise without losing weight, and were able to keep SUGARY CRAP out of my mouth, WLS would NEVER had been considered.      I am cleared for surgery. I'm considered a light-weight. I have comorbidities. I want to live a longer life than I would if I don't get this weight off. I want health, not diseases.      The question posted here was controversial. People should realize that noone wants WLS over trying to lose totally on their own. Heck, I have kids. It is costing me money that is significant enough for me to  question spending that much $ on me.       A few posts have been judgemental- my way is the right way. I know consciously the intent was not there & it sparked such a  huge range of such insighfu amazing responses...      It is personal & I do thank EVERYONE who posts, because I know we can see bits and pieces of ourselves in our "shared experiences" here from all.      I thank you all,      Bernadette NJ RNY 6/21     

BTW- please pardon missing letters in my posts. My son bought me an indestructible keyboard after I dropped coffee on my keyboard twice in one week and not all letters show up because I type with two fingers and unequal pressure on the keys. I try to correct - but see many I missed in the above post.  Too early for me to be typing. :) B