Warning: VERY controversial question

You have hit on so much of what makes this surgery such a dilemma for so many folks, both ethically and physically. Do I panic at the thought of gaining all my weight back?  I used to.  For the first year all I could think of was gaining it all back.  I started out almost as high as you, 352 with a BMI of 57.  If anyone reads my journal they will see that I was truly confused as to why this was working for me. Why then?  What was different at that point to make it easier for me to finally achieve a weight loss that was more than 30 pounds (which always left me STILL at 320+?  I still don't know, but I'm taking it!!!  I hit my lowest weight of 215 in July of 2006.  Right now I am at 230.  I guess that is my rebound weight.  I wanted to get lower but my body seems to like me here.  I like me here a whole heck of a lot better than 350+.  I don't panic anymore about gaining it back, I just don't.  I HAVE worked on my head and adopted the lifestyle changes necessary to maintain the weight loss.  I don't plan on having children so this lifestyle can stay with me.   I know you don't want RnY.  But I also know that you have researched it and done all of the homework necessary to make an educated decision.  I just would hope that everyone would put as much energy into it.

I am from a "genetically" fat family. My parents and 6 siblings are obese/morbidly obese. Two years ago I lost 100 lbs. When I was at my lowest I wanted WLS because I was terrified I'd regain. I kept it off for about 5 months, but I started therapy and antidepressants and gained it all plus 30 back. So here I am with a BMI of "only" 42 and ineligible because my only complaint is I can't haul this fat around anymore without pain everywhere. I know I can lose the weight because I did it; however, I don't know how I'm going to do it again or if I'll be able to keep it off if I do.

Pain is horrible stuff-- it requires action, which is the last thing you want to hear when you hurt! I have found that my back pain and leg pain have subsided some with strengthening exercises. (Light weights, swimming, walking on rare occasion.) While I can't fix a bone or a joint, I can strengthen the muscles around it so they can better carry my weight, right? Good luck finding the answer that will work for you!

Finally, a post where people are talking about something... Let me start with saying that I didn't find anything in any of these posts to be offensive.  We all have different stories, and I'm glad to hear that people are willing to share their perspective.  I'm everything that ruffles the WLS feathers of others.  I'm lightweight, I didn't want to lose too much during the insurance required diet, I don't have the life threatening co-morbities, and I'm having RNY on 07/10/07. So what gives, right?  Why would I put my body through this?  Well, the decision wasn't as easy as you may think.  In fact, right now I continue to ask myself if I've tried hard enough.  About 5 years ago I was a band wagon WLS hopeful.  My sister was about 18 months post-op at the time and I was amazed by her weight loss.  I call myself a band wagon WLS hopeful at the time, because I wasn't educated at all.  In fact, I think I was too young to making such a drastic decision (in retrospect of course).  So my request was sent to the insurance company and I was denied.  I certainly weighed enough, but didn't meet all of their specifics.  At the time I was 21 and 280 pounds. I didn't buckle down to fight the insurance company.  I decided to do it on my own.  I started with Weigh****chers and felt hungry all the time.  Ultimately, my hunger got the best of me.  After about 9 months of going back and forth with WW I decided to try something else.  I committed to the Atkins diet.  Wow, now that was controversial.  I wasn't the kind of Atkins dieter to eat bacon and cheese with every meal.  I actually had a very healthy diet and I loved that I never had to be hungry.  Portion control just wasn't an issue.  I started working out and running.  I was COMMITTED to losing weight.  I got down to 200 pounds.  That's lighter than I was when I graduated from high school.  before I knew it the weight was creeping back.  I always tried to go back to the basics but just didn't have the power to do it. About a year and a half ago I found myself at 250 again.  This is still 30 pounds shy of my heaviest weight and I was determined to never be that big again.  I joined Metabolic Research.  I spent thousands of dollars over the last 18 months on protein drinks and membership dues only to find out that I've developed gall stones.  I'll lose 30 gain 20, lose 5 gain 15.  Why oh why can't I find something to help me make the lifestyle change I so desperately want? Reality hit me in December.  At 26 years old I was facing severe stress incontinence.  I've undergone pelvic rehab since then to strengthen my pelvic floor.  I made some progress for the first few sessions and nothing since then.  My doctor encouraged me to get real about my weight.  What could I do to help myself make the permanent changes I need?  My knees are constantly killing me and I'm fighting to maintain a BMI of 42.  That may sound like a lightweight, but years of struggling to stay there is not a pretty picture.   I decided to have WLS.  I told the surgeon upfront that I would lose on the required 3 month diet for the insurance, but I didn't want rapid loss because I knew I would be denied and I knew my own limitations.  I can get to 235 these days and that's it.  He was okay with my decision as long as I understood he would still require 10% weight loss before my surgery.  I have not gained any weight during my diet.  I just haven't dropped like I have on other diets.  I'm okay with my decision, because my insurance approved my request. I don't for one second think WLS is the answer to happiness and everything else wrong in the world.  I'm ready to be at a normal, healthy weight and have some permanent parameters on my side.  That's why I chose WLS.  Those parameters are so very important to my longterm success.   Having said all of this, when I decided to have WLS I decided I was going to do whatever it took to make a permanent change in my life.  I was prepared to do something else if I received an insurance deniel.  Luckily, it didn't come to that. I'm happy to say that this lightweight with very preliminary co-morbities is having WLS.  

okay in my mind, severe stress incontinence would be a very significan co-morbidity that i certainly could not live with....add in the knees and i think you have a pretty decent case.

lol.  I tend to think it's pretty significant.  Unfortunately, not everyone shares my opinion.  In my big rambling I failed to deliver my point.  Basically, me at 260 is the worst feeling in the world.  My BMI at 42 feels just as bad as anyone else's worst moment.  My sister-in-law has never had a weight problem, and I know that her busting out of size 12's feels just as bad to her as I feel when I gain weight.   I totally agree that people jump into WLS too suddenly.  You can tell from some of the questions posted that people aren't educated enough.  I know my own worst struggle is going to be the mental stuff.  It's so hard for me to admit that I need help.  It's probably going to take a long time for me feel comfortable about seeking the help I feel like I need.  I've been letting myself feel all of the hurt from my weight and the co-morbities lately, so that I can leave them behind.  It's not a happy place to be.  I'm just trying to face transfer addiction head on.  I want to be healthy mentally and physically.  I don't think I could make it through this journey if I wan't focused on my head as well as my stomach. 

True enough. In size acceptance circles, I was outright MOCKED for being in pain at a mere 335 pounds.  But YOU need to decide the place where you cannot stand any more, and do what needs doing. Only you know what untenable means-- and only you can devise the plan that'll get you out. Best of luck to you!

Mocked at 335? Really?  How rude!  I was 330lbs not too long ago and I remember the difficulties I had.  Hell I still have some of them but not nearly to the extent.  I could barely tie my shoes. I had to take a deep breath and lunge forward to grab my foot to pull it close enought to tie it. Doing so killed my stomach and put lots of strain on my knee and hip.  At 296 it's much better, I can at least breath now and i don't have to strain to get my foot up.  Additionally at 330lbs and still the same at 296, and this is somewhat embarrasing to admit, I have to pin my arm against the shower wall in order to reach my backside. I just cannot reach it because of the fat obstructing my arm from reaching around. It's much better now of couse but still I have to pin it. It's pretty comical!    So anyways, my point is that you had no right to be mocked, I can imagine your difficulties, painfully!

paul -  i think you are saying exactly what we are always saying here in the non-op forum. i'm not sure if you are a regular reader but it seems like this topic has brought out a number of WLS folks who have never written in before. anyway, the main theme of everything we say here is to find what works for you. what works for donna doing south beach would NEVER work for me and Neecee who is on basicaly on a post-op diet would definitely not work for me. i know denise who does OA would also not do a thing for me. its a VERY individual process. as donna was saying, basically whatever you do is going to include (or should include) some element of diet and exercise - i don't think anyone would argue that. perhaps that's the point that i think you mised perhaps by taking this one message out of context.  everything you said about nutritional knowledge, knowing your emotional issues, learning new skills for handing restaurant eating etc is all stuff everyone in this forum acknowledges on a regular basis. i think its presumpuous for you to think that we are saying anything other than that. we also know that that is something all WLS people need to do as well and what donna's posting was about is that there are MANY who don't do any of that before going after the surgery. i have much personal experience meeting these "kinds" of people. if you and you doctor and your therapist have fully explored all of you medical and emotional problems and needs and you all decide as a team that WLS is the best option for you after trying other alternatives, then you should have WLS. the main idea is that it is major surgery and should be a last resort that is well researched and well informed. unfortunately, it is not always viewed that way.   its insulting to me/us, who have lost weight without WLS, to basically be told we are wrong and we are doomed and will regain all our weight and need to have surgery anyway. this forum is our safe space to talk about our feelings and the reactions we get not onlyfrom average people in the average world but also from people in the WLS community. we all have the same common goal and its unfortunate that there has be so much animousity between the groups. heck, there is even animousity between people who choose RNY v. DS s. lapband. can't we all just get along?