Warning: VERY controversial question

Okay, I have read yet another post on the main board about a person who was denied WLS coverage.  They are obviously depressed and feeling unsure of what to do now, all rather common emotions.  A couple of responses with hugs and sympathy, which are very nice. Then the inevitable response.  FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT that big ugly insurance company for what you know is right!!!!!  The person has co-morbidities, mostly reflux, joint pain, high blood pressure....all the common obesity related illnesses.  She has a BMI of 44.  So here is the controversial part.  If you are facing all of these illlnesses and you know that one of them might kill you, why not bust your ass to try to lose the weight on your own?  I have seen posts from people who are screaming AMEN because they've been approved after 5 years.  FIVE years!!!  Do you realize how they could have changed their lives in five years?   I would never post this on the Main Board, I would clearly not get the understanding of what I am saying.  I think most of you will understand it. Look, I in no way minimize this struggle of ours.  My BMI was 57 when I started, so I wasn't just a lightweight who decided WLS wasn't for me and I needed to lose a few pounds.  I wanted WLS when I started.  But the more I looked into it and was REALLY HONEST with  myself I realized that I needed to do it on my own.  I am also not negating or minimizing clear genetics where entire generations of people in a family are obese.  My family does not suffer from obesity, other than those of us who can't push away from the christmas cookies!!!   I know this is going to sound horrible, but I would pray for something, anything that would make me ill so I would be forced to lose weight.  I never had any.  It was the inability to walk, after two knee operations, that jolted me. Please don't think I am judging anyone.  I don't have any illnesses that would make WLS seem like the only way out.  My heart goes out to those who suffer.  My question is simple. If someone is denied for WLS, and it is clear that unless they self-pay or seek out another insurance, which could take up to a year, why don't they do something to take control of their lives? I know that a change of life works.  Exercise and watching what you eat works.  Yes, there will be the instances where people say diets don't work.  I read a profile of a woman who claimed to have tried every diet known to man.  She actually wrote them all out.  I  couldn't help notice that in 2001 it was Jenny Craig and 2002 was LA Weight Loss and 2003 was Slimfast, and in between she went back to WW.  Now, clearly she didn't give either of those programs enough time.  Most programs take 1-2 years to lose the weight and enter some type of maintenance plan. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh  I ramble, but I think I go my point across. Any opinions????

I don't know Donna but I can truly understand how she could be upset.  But I totally agree that unless you have some physical handicap that prevents you from moving they could have made much progress in five years.  I know a lady that has injured her ankle and cannot walk a lot of days which perpetuates the weight gain, I would think she would be a candidate but she doesn't want it at this time.  Thia is going to bring a lot of differing opinions to the table because some of us still have WLS in the back of our mind but are willing to do what it takes if the answer is no.

I read that post earlier too -- I shudder to think where I would be now if I had not taken the words "last resort" to heart three years ago (with a BMI of 53) and taken a very hard look at my life.  I did this before even considering applying for approval for the surgery (which I never got around to doing). My mantra lately has been, "Nothing beats a try." I also agree that people waste valuable time waiting for ... a blessing.  Sometimes we've just got to create our own.  I just hope that this person isn't in more severe cir****tances by the time the blessing rolls around.

Dee, That is exactly what I am talking about.  Not everyone does like Shari and takes the responsibility to get healthy before their WLS.  At the very least I would have had to lose 10% of my weight, which at the time was 35 pounds, in order to even be considered for WLS.  I think maybe at the very beginning I would have still wanted WLS.  But after I realized that "wow, this DOES work" did I just continue on, taking control of my life. YES, WLS people also take amazing control of their lives, and the tool is a great opportunity to do that.  Mine wasn't a "rant against WLS" just a simple question as to why when denied would they fight the insurance company, instead of fighting the obesity.

i (surprise, surprise) am in complete agreement with you. i am always shocked and annoyed when i hear that people have been investigated and researched and trying to get approved for WLS for like 4 years. and what about the people who try desparately to get out of the 6 month supervised diet?  its as if they are afraid it will work too well for them if they actually gave it a real shot and they they wouldn't get approved.   part of it is cultural as well. we, as westerners, as americans, we like quick fixes and fast results. not saying WLS doesn't take work in the long term, but you see immediate results. americans like immediate gratification - which is in part why we are in this "obesity crisis" to begin with. we like to do what we want when we want and without restriction. the truth is that it does take what you are saying being REALLY HONEST with oneself - another thing people don't like to do. we don't like to take responsibilty for our own behavior and actions and choices. we want to sue mcdonalds and blame the transfats. most americans want nothing to do with therapy to try and understand their issues until they have to go to the required one time psychological assessment for WLS approval. the media also contributes by trivilizing and sensationalizing weight loss, dieting, surgery. the other night on Nightline there was a piece about addiction transfer after weight loss - perfect opportunity to talk about the psychological componenent of weight, eating etc yet they didn't mention it at all - other than one of the women saying she is just starting to see a counselor after years of sex, alcohol and shopping addiction. in order to take responsibility and make changes in your life, you have to hold yourself accountable to how you got to the place where you are. this is a very difficult thing. i wasn't loved as a child, i don't know how to cook, i can't afford a gym membership, its all in my genetics - and while these things are not unimportant, you have to find a way to look past them and say well whatever happened in the past and whatever my genetics say - these is SOMETHING i can do. i can park farther away. i can get grilled chicken at Wendy's instead of the double quarter pounder. we are also very all-or-nothing as society. we don't like to make small manageable steps - we want total ovehaul of lifestyle, which is pretty impossible. then we fail when we can't do all of it at once and just quit. the problem works both ways though. people don't want to try and fail again. and the people who work at WLS centers don't help this. i went to the required seminar at the Duke WLS center with a friend of mine. these doctors were talking to a room full of desparate obese people and telling them that surgery was THE only way they could successfully lose weight. and this is at Duke - where the very well known and highly regarded and successful Duke Diet and Fitness is (literally) a mile down the road. i know people who have gone there unable to walk and on oxygen and managed to be walking on their own without the Oxygen by the time their 4 week session was up. clearly, it is possible - and the people on this forum have shown that.  but when you have all the "professionals" telling you that you will not be successful, why should you try again? i know for me - going to weight loss camps year and after year where i'd lose 40 pounds in a summer and then immediately gain it back as soon as school started again. eventually the up and down of all of it become more traumatic than just being plain old obese to start with. so i decided i was okay with being fat - that mental charade lasted me through college until i ended up at the DFC. i think the original purposed of WLS was the idea of getting weight off very fast to fix very serious medical problems. programs like the Rice Diet are also based on this idea. some people need to drop weight really fast in order to have surgery or deal with significant problems that are life threatening or life compromising (mobility issues). i frankly cannot understand people who have WLS when they are 220 or 200 or "lightweights".  i also think the tide is starting to change. a lot more information is coming out about the very serious long term complications of surgery from people who are 7-10 years out as more people get to that point. less insurance companies seem to be covering WLS without requiring more programming - like 6 months program before surgery with required support groups 6 months agter - that sort of thing. i think it will be very interesting to see how things develop. wow this is getting long and rambly. and like you say donna, i definitely think there are exceptions to every situation and rule and i don't want to generalize to EVERYONE who has considering WLS. i should shut up now before i offend everyone. reminder: i am hyped up on percocet

Hi Andrea, Thank you very much for your well thought out and intelligent response, as always.  I think one of the things that made me a little leery of the whole WLS process was that whole cheerleading aspect.  Rah Rah Rah, you got your date, yay yay yay.  Nobody realizes, or refuses to consider, that some of these people clearly aren't ready and should not be embarking on something like this.  The education in some areas is sorely lacking.  It is clear that this is an issue when there are a thousand insurance companies, all with a different criteria for getting surgery. I believe there are clearly people in need of medical intervention to solve their weight issues.  But there are also people out there who will state that they haven't really tried anything, but they got approved so why not.  I have met a woman who said just that.  I also know a woman who said that she didn't want to work too hard to lose weight.  This is the same woman *****fused to believe that I didn't have WLS to lose my weight.   Yes, the rate of "failure" for those of us who use traditional methods appears to be rather high.  However, I am almost 2 years from the beginning of my journey, and I have maintained this loss for the past year.  I think I am past that failure rate option.  Thankfully, let me add. 

I never wanted to seem judgemental.  I just wanted to know why, if when dealt a rather severe prognosis, someone wouldn't wish to take their life into their own hands and make changes.

 

 

Just FYI-- the cheerleading doesn't come from the surgeons-- it comes from patients who have seemingly no clue what they are getting into. My medical staff has been somber in tone, very clear on risks and side effects-- and with tremendous focus on personal responsibility. That's WHY they are *my* medical staff. I view it closer to "chemo". Who the hell gets excited about chemo? You do it because you have to--- and I am doing this because I have to.  I'm not gonna be a pwecious butterfly-- with any luck I am going to be a smaller woman with big piles of hangy skin, who can move easier, sleep without machinery, walk more than a block, and live a more active life. People get angry with me. "Aren't you excited?" About re-routing fully functional organs, and losing my hair? Not so much, you know? Excited isn't the word. Cautiously optimistic is the best I can muster up. And anyone who's all-a-giggle is kind of misguided, IMHO.  If you have this surgery for vanity reasons, you're a freakin' tool. If you're having it with no co-morbidities, you're a freakin' tool. If you're not dieting pre-operatively, you're a freakin' tool. There. I said it.  Come 'n' get me, sparkly butterfly peeples!

Shari, I feel no need to apologize or put a disclaimer here for you, you are obviously -- and I'm sure you would say thankfully -- the exception to this rule.  You don't owe it to me or anyone to explain your decisions. I am thankful that you took the post in the proper way.  And I am also glad you understand that whole cheerleading mentality, which has been the downfall of many who might have succeeded in another way if they tried!! 

LOL @freakin' tool.  Thank you for your response and I do wish you the most successful surgery possible with the best results, and I hope you don't leave us!!!

No apology necessary-- didn't feel slighted in the least. Just offering another POV for the pile.

I know this is a controversial question, but Shari I kind of took offense by your reply.  If you have this surgery for vanity reasons, you're a freakin' tool. If you're having it with no co-morbidities, you're a freakin' tool. If you're not dieting pre-operatively, you're a freakin' tool. I know it's everyones opinion, and I'm not mad but, if I had the money. I would go for it. I would have WLS. I don't have co-morbidities. And I would definitely still have surgery if I had the chance. I don't feel I am a so called "tool" as you say.  And I know everyone has also talked about the whole...being a whole of a lot happier being thin. I'm 21 years old and was 276. 21 and have no life. I would be one happy camper with myself if I was thinner. I would have confidence, I would actually go out and have fun. I keep myself in the house like a hermit because I don't want to go out because Im fat. I'm ashamed. And yes I am dieting. I'm trying. But to have surgery because I am over weight and I am at risks of having co-morbidities, I think that I have the right to have surgery with or without them. I don't know I am getting upset, because that just kind of hurt to read that. And I don't want to stir up any kind of controversy but i just wanted to voice my opinion on it. So I guess that is all I have to say. I'm all worked up now. I have to get back to work.