Annoyed.

Jupiter6
on 5/27/07 3:23 pm - Near Media, Pa- South of Philly, NJ

Just received an unsolicited private message from a stranger telling me I didn't need to have the RNY. You know, it's not like I just fell off the turnip truck and thought it sounded like a hootenany! It's a educated decision, and been a difficult one at that, but now that I know what my plans are and am secure in what I believe, being challenged on it sure can be a pain in the ass-- know what I mean? Flip the situation--- would any of you feel happy to read unsolicited messages from strangers telling you that you OUGHT to have the RNY? DO I seem to people here to be the type to make a rash or uneducated decision? Ugh. People irk me. Someone else get my back...I'm busy banging my head on my desk. Feeling like I am on the Main Board or something...

"Oh sweet and sour Jesus, that is GOOD!" - Stephen Colbert Lap RNY 7/07-- Lap Gallbladder 5/08--
     Emergency Bowel Repair 6/08 -Dr. Meilahn, Temple U.   Upper and Lower Bleph/Lower Face Lift
     12/08
     Fraxel Repair 2/09-- Lower Bleph Re-Do 5/09  -Dr. Pontell, Media PA Mastopexy/Massive
     Brachioplasty/ Extended Abdominoplasty (plus Mons Lift and Upper Leg lift) / Hernia Repair
     6/24/09 ---Butt Lift and Lateral Thighplasty Scheduled 7/6/10 - Dr. Ivor Kaplan VA Beach
     Total Cost: $33,500   Start wt: 368   RNY wt: 300 Goal wt: 150   Current wt: 148.2 BMI: 24.7

Donnamarie
on 5/28/07 12:03 am - NY

Lap Band on 03/29/11

hi Shari, Was there a reason they beleived that you didn't need it? Was it because you are a beautiful woman, no matter what your size? Well, you already knew that!!! I don't think this person necessarily read your post about how you came to your conclusion to determine that it was something you needed to do. Some people I think feel like they are helping if they tell you that you don't "need" it. I don't think they think far enough out in the process to see that if you didn't "need" it you wouldn't be doing it just for the hell of it. I think that you are right to feel upset. Yeah I'd be pretty unhappy if I were to get an e-mail telling me I needed WLS.. I got all upset when someone said I had it when I hadn't!!! I worked hard to get here, how dare someone challenge my choices. And I think that's it. You didn't stumble upon this website and say "oooohhh that looks like fun." You made an educated decision. Let it slide off your back. Some people mean well but they don't have all the information to make some of the statement they make!!!

"Accountability first to yourself, then nobody else matters"

Jupiter6
on 5/28/07 12:23 am, edited 5/28/07 12:24 am - Near Media, Pa- South of Philly, NJ

RNY on 07/16/07

Thanks, Donna. I've rarely gotten anything in a private message (except among friends) that wasn't annoying. My feeling is this: if your position is very wise, why not share it with the world, or at least the board? Seems kinda cowardly to hit and run in private, to me. If you can't say it in the agora-- because you're concerned with what others may think-- maybe it should go unsaid. Beautiful regardless of size? I'm all for it, but it's not entirely true. There's nothing beautiful about crying in your car because you're too tired to push a cart at a grocery store, or your principal giving you a special assignment out front during fire drills because everyone knows you can't make it to the rear of the building. Maybe my private message-er missed that point somewhere. Misery and pain are not beautiful. Suffering is not wellness. I understand your frustration with people assuming you had the WLS...but keep in mind, that route's no picnic either-- just a tad faster. In the end, we're all counting calories and working out like madmen, right? I know I will be, anyway. When the honeymoon's over, I'll be doing precisely what I am doing now--for life. I plan to lose as much as I can without it. Best of both worlds, I guess...ha ha! Maybe I just wanted a liberal amount of both forms of misery...

"Oh sweet and sour Jesus, that is GOOD!" - Stephen Colbert Lap RNY 7/07-- Lap Gallbladder 5/08--
     Emergency Bowel Repair 6/08 -Dr. Meilahn, Temple U.   Upper and Lower Bleph/Lower Face Lift
     12/08
     Fraxel Repair 2/09-- Lower Bleph Re-Do 5/09  -Dr. Pontell, Media PA Mastopexy/Massive
     Brachioplasty/ Extended Abdominoplasty (plus Mons Lift and Upper Leg lift) / Hernia Repair
     6/24/09 ---Butt Lift and Lateral Thighplasty Scheduled 7/6/10 - Dr. Ivor Kaplan VA Beach
     Total Cost: $33,500   Start wt: 368   RNY wt: 300 Goal wt: 150   Current wt: 148.2 BMI: 24.7

bettyboop2
on 5/28/07 3:37 am - Cincinnati, OH

Shari, if this is something you want and need then i say go for it, my daughter is 28 yrs old and had the WLS and she is the happiest i have seen her in years, and on her way to being very healthy, she use to take so much meds, now she is down just to one, and i thank God she found a wonderful Dr., to give her more to her new life. Just do all your homework and make your decission, I wanted to have it but my Inc has a exclusion in it for any type. Good Luck and Bless you. Delilah

Donnamarie
on 5/28/07 3:43 am - NY

Lap Band on 03/29/11

The "hit and run" posters are the most fun. I posted once on a PS board in response to someone who, on the board was all sweet, and in private message was like The Exorcist. LOL Oh, Shari, the stories I could tell you about being fat, and the emotions and the just downright despair. But you could match me story for story I'm sure. I honestly don't have an issue with WLS, not at all. Truth be told if my doc had been all for it the moment I asked I would have been under the knife in no time. But he didn't and I guess this is my destiny. What I was most upset about is someone professing I had WLS when I had been honest about not having it, but not believing me. I think that sucks the most!!! In the end we do what our gut tells us, and what feels most comfortable, period.

"Accountability first to yourself, then nobody else matters"

Neecee O.
on 5/28/07 3:10 am - CA

Just leave that one your plate. BTW, it made me think to ask you, who, if anyone have you told in 3D? Huh...that is interesting, get steeled for a REAL BIG mixed bag of response. I just about ***** slap anyone who insinuates that our friends who have had wls have "cheated".

Jupiter6
on 5/28/07 7:55 am - Near Media, Pa- South of Philly, NJ

RNY on 07/16/07

In 3D, I've told people who matter, and not told people who don't. I don't give a **** about cheating. I care about my health and what is most likely to restore it, period, endastory. :) I shared the email with a good online pal, who apparently forwarded his OWN message to her--- which was well intended, but also kinda "yeesh"... Advice is great, if people know you or what you are asking. Otherwise, it can be cloying-- I see that now.

"Oh sweet and sour Jesus, that is GOOD!" - Stephen Colbert Lap RNY 7/07-- Lap Gallbladder 5/08--
     Emergency Bowel Repair 6/08 -Dr. Meilahn, Temple U.   Upper and Lower Bleph/Lower Face Lift
     12/08
     Fraxel Repair 2/09-- Lower Bleph Re-Do 5/09  -Dr. Pontell, Media PA Mastopexy/Massive
     Brachioplasty/ Extended Abdominoplasty (plus Mons Lift and Upper Leg lift) / Hernia Repair
     6/24/09 ---Butt Lift and Lateral Thighplasty Scheduled 7/6/10 - Dr. Ivor Kaplan VA Beach
     Total Cost: $33,500   Start wt: 368   RNY wt: 300 Goal wt: 150   Current wt: 148.2 BMI: 24.7

Virginia A.
on 5/28/07 3:17 am

Obviously you know your body the best and the decision to have surgery should be 100% yours. Yes people will give you advice and tell you what's good and bad about it, but how dare anyone try and influence your decision by saying you don't NEED it.

Neecee O.
on 5/28/07 3:45 am - CA

Oh yeah, it is interesting. I'd be irritated as well. NEED the surgery? of course NOT. Sure there is the choice of staying as is, and waiting til you have yet another obesity-related issue to possibly rule out wls altogether. For most of us, this is like the 1000th attempt at losing. Not like ya just snapped out of a fat wrapped body and said oh hey.... Furthermore, WLS is not cosmetic, we know this by most people having some extra skin issues after a loss so fast. There is another body acceptance curve there as wls patients must then elect (or require) toward ps or learn to love THAT body that is healthier but not quite Vogue material either. Lastly my pcp did not treat it as an elective surgery whatsoever. If he had deemed my health needs to warrant it, it would have been required to save my life.

Jupiter6
on 5/28/07 9:57 am, edited 5/28/07 9:57 am - Near Media, Pa- South of Philly, NJ

RNY on 07/16/07

I loved being fat, aesthetically. I dug the round, full version of me. The emptying, hanging, flabby version is far inferior-- and I am gonna do it just the same. I have to be mobile. I have to move it or lose it.

"Oh sweet and sour Jesus, that is GOOD!" - Stephen Colbert Lap RNY 7/07-- Lap Gallbladder 5/08--
     Emergency Bowel Repair 6/08 -Dr. Meilahn, Temple U.   Upper and Lower Bleph/Lower Face Lift
     12/08
     Fraxel Repair 2/09-- Lower Bleph Re-Do 5/09  -Dr. Pontell, Media PA Mastopexy/Massive
     Brachioplasty/ Extended Abdominoplasty (plus Mons Lift and Upper Leg lift) / Hernia Repair
     6/24/09 ---Butt Lift and Lateral Thighplasty Scheduled 7/6/10 - Dr. Ivor Kaplan VA Beach
     Total Cost: $33,500   Start wt: 368   RNY wt: 300 Goal wt: 150   Current wt: 148.2 BMI: 24.7

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