I went to my LAST Family Reunion yesterday

BFrench
on 5/21/07 1:55 am
at least it was the last time I attend that particular family reunion.  I hadn't been in 14 years since I lived in New Zealand.  Boy it has changed over the years.  There was hardly anybody there--only one person that I actually had any real conversation with.   Oh also I saw my grandmother for the first time in 9 years.  (This is the one who told me when I was 7 years old that I was going to end up just like my mother, implying the 290-325 pound range)   I introduced my four children to her.  My oldest daughter is 9 and EVERYBODY tells us both how much she looks like me, even though she is not chubby at all.  Guess what Grandma had to say, "My, doesn't she look like Mary."  (Mary is my beautiful younger sister who has ranged her whole life from thin to thinner back to thin again.)  With anybody else I would let it pass as just a matter of opinion, albeit a different opinion than everybody else in the world, but with Grandma it felt like a thinly disguised, "She is way too thin and cute to look like you.  She looks like your sister."  Maybe it's just me, but that was the feeling my husband got, who was standing right there and the same feeling my sister got when I told her on the phone.  All I told her was that Grandma said Samantha looks like her.  Mary's reply was, "What a mean horrible thing to say."  If I never go to another Roemer Reunion it will be too soon.  OK vent over.  So how was your weekend?   ; )
Heather K.
on 5/21/07 2:28 am - HI
I'm sorry things didn't go that great for you... family seems like they can be our biggest enemies at times.
BFrench
on 5/21/07 2:32 am
Thank you and I agree.  Fortunately most of my family that I see on a regular basis are great,  If they were all like Grandma, I probably would have stayed in NZ. lol
Dee Mackie
on 5/21/07 2:53 am - NJ

I am so sorry that happened to you.  Truth be told, I could probably live the rest of my life without seeing most of my family again.  For years I was the big one -- on both sides of the family. Last summer I saw my dad for the first time since he moved South.  I had saved photos of my progress since the time he left -- apparently he went home and showed them to everyone because he called about a week later and said, "Everyone is so proud of you."  Really?  I didn't hear that when I graduated from HS with a plethora of scholarships to choose from ... or when I got a bunch of senior awards four years later ... or when I got married.  In fact, at the last family get-together I attended on my dad's side, one of our elderly cousins came up to me and had to nerve to say to my face, "You need to go on a diet!"  It didn't help that her post-op son was strutting around! Needless to say, my dad hasn't received any more photos.  I am trying not to see my mom's side either. Hugs!!

Neecee O.
on 5/21/07 2:54 am - CA
Oh I hear you!  May your teflon coating protect you when you go to those damn things.  It's bad, how we recall all the hurtful things, for me, I finish my first 5K with my scrawny SIL and my dad says oh Shirley has a runner's body...now he did not say **** about me, but I took that to mean...ummmmm and YOUR body is a JOKE!  We're both standing there, no comment for me, good bad or indifferent. But deep down I took it to mean exactly how it was. My former MIL, who is normally a sweetie ****** my **** OFF when she talks about my daughters, who are tall and not little...how much they "take after me"  when her own daughters are far heftier than I have ever been! One of her own daughters is so fat her knees are blown out, her back is shot and she is only 2 years older than me.  You can pick your nose, but not your relatives!
BFrench
on 5/21/07 3:38 am
Thanks for making me smile and letting me know I am not alone in the way I feel about certain family members. On a side note, do any of you  have family members who seem to be trying to "compete" with your weight loss by telling you how they are noticing how much looser THEIR OWN clothes are, even though it's not really noticeable yet? 
Angela B.
on 5/21/07 3:55 am - Somerville, AL
My daughter does that, but then again everytime I see her, she is going on a diet, and then sits down and eats enough for two people.  I usually don't say anything because I know how it hurt when someone else would point out my eating habits, but when I do of course she gets her feelings hurt. Sooooo Friday when she and her BF took me out to lunch, they both told me that they were going on a diet; he ordered something pretty reasonable with good nutritional value, and she ordered 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and a large order of fries. As diplomatically as I could muster....I told them that the word diet should be banned from the human language and that if they could just alter their eating habits it would make a significant difference.  AND you know what.....she looked at me and said "well you look like you've lost a lot of weight, so will you help us come up with a list of items to buy at the grocery store?"  Of course, I told her 20 lbs. was not a lot of weight, but it was a start.  (So keep your fingers crossed that this time she will make a commitment and do this for her health.  Her standard excuse has always been.....I enjoy being a fat kid). Anyway, maybe you should just acknowledge that they are trying and let it roll off your back.  If they are sincere it will manifest itself eventually, if not so will that.

10/4/07 surgery 265, 11/7/07 1st fill  252, 12/27/07 2nd fill 243, 1/16/08 234, 2/27/08 3rd fill 230, 5/18/08 209, 6/12/08 home scale 200!!!!!!!!!!! 10/22/08 1 yr......184, 11/4/08.....170, Pouch dilation in April 10, complete unfill. Starting over! 7/29/10-175    

BFrench
on 5/21/07 4:15 am
Oh Angela, that is WONDERFUL that your daughter has noticed and is actually asking you for some advice.  You are being a great example for you daughter instead of "Do as I say; not as I do" kind of mother.  Cool.   And I do just let it go.  I think to myself, "Yeah, we'll see," but I never say that to her.  My sil is doing WW and is going really well.  I have learned not to point out my own NSV's when other people are noticing hers.  I just think, "my time is coming when people notice my changes; right now is her time."  If I have to point out my progress to others, I haven't progressed far enough, but I will. 
Angela B.
on 5/22/07 12:53 am - Somerville, AL
 Well I haven't always set a good example for her,  I always feel guility over the fact that she weighs 26?.  If I had've decided to make better choices for myself and my family many years ago maybe she wouldn't be in this shape at 19.  But I did make that commitment 5-6 years ago and quit bringing junk into the house but when they get old enough to drive and date you can't control their food consumption outside of the house.  She pulled up in the driveway one day to clean out her car and there were 14 empty Krispy Creme boxes in her trunk.  So keeping it out of the house still didn't curb her desire for it.  I wish I could have taught her better habits but I didn't so now I feel guilty over it.

10/4/07 surgery 265, 11/7/07 1st fill  252, 12/27/07 2nd fill 243, 1/16/08 234, 2/27/08 3rd fill 230, 5/18/08 209, 6/12/08 home scale 200!!!!!!!!!!! 10/22/08 1 yr......184, 11/4/08.....170, Pouch dilation in April 10, complete unfill. Starting over! 7/29/10-175    

BFrench
on 5/22/07 1:08 am
Well at least you are heading in the right direction with her now.  My mother keeps bringing treat foods to our house, so I still have to fight it not only for myself, but for my kids as well.  I don't want them to end up like I did.  And I so can not stand to listen to food advice from Mom, who weighs 3?? and has done for my whole life.  If what she is saying is right, why does she still weigh so much?  However I am always polite, agree with her and then change the subject as quickly as possible.
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