Cursive..bet the bloddy Brits are to blame here too

Well spoken, or rather written Neecee.  Btw, I live very near St. Louis.  If you ever make it this way, let me know. 

I completely agree.  Why do I need to worry about whether tattoos are of the devil or if homosexuals are going to hell???  The only thing that is important is that you accept that God exists and that Jesus died for you and you get saved. From then on out you should just try to be a good person. You're never going to succeed 100% but damnit you can make a good stab at it!  Why worry about condemning other people to hell.  Just focus on God's love!    Even though I say all of that above I *STILL* have problems believing it myself because of all of the deceit in this world. All the various preachers and religions out there that set a bad example. It makes me wonder if God really exists.. How do I know that I'm not god and I created all of this...? You're all a figment of my imagination, that's why you all love me so much! hahahah

See I think we all know how to live life. Before God was ever introduced to me I was told what was right and what was wrong.  Some things I just knew were bad without having to be told.  Some choose to go down the wrong path in life and do horrible things but I still think they know how to live life correctly, regardless of God and the Bible.   When I say milk I mean just what it says in Hebrews. I struggle with the basics, the fundamental beliefs. Things like the divinity of Jesus, some of the commandments, etc. I often wonder if Jesus was really who we think He was. Perhaps we have it all wrong? Why doesn't God inspire people today?  Were the people in the old testament just making stuff up because they didn't know how else to explain things?  Isn't that what they did with paganism, greek/roman mythology? How do we know those aren't the true religions..?  Why in the heck are there other books that were left out because they didn't follow in line with how the early church believed?  Why do they contradict the current canon?  Lots of questions and no answers. It's all of these questions that make me question whether or not we have it right and whether or not it's not just some big made up story to explain the unexplainable..  How come I can truely believe that something will happen to me, positive or negative and it happens?  How come when I pray it does the same thing? Why have all of my prayers been answered?  Does that mean that mean that "I" have the power to change my future w/o believing or praying to God?   I think my problem is that there are no answers and it's becoming easier and easier for me to believe that I have power over my own future. There is no impending doom if I don't do right. Sure their are some consequences for my actions but I'm not planning on becoming an axe murderer. I'm just living life to the best of my ability and trying not to harm anyone in the process.  And if I'm wrong then it doesn't matter because I've been saved. Once saved always saved right??  That brings up another huge question I've always had problems with.  Anyways,  I'm not turning my back on God, just don't understand and I'm doubtful. I don't feel like a doubtful person has any place in church or any ministry for that matter. Wow...I really do have issues.

Yeah, you do : )  You have a lot of questions, where are you looking for the answers? I agree that perhaps someone with so many doubts probably should not be in a ministry leadership position, but see no problem with people who have legitimate questions being in the church.  

No where at the moment but I'm pretty thoroughly familiar with the Bible and since it's validity that I'm questioning it's not a good place to look so I have to look to the world and what do you find there? Conflicting ideas and a bunch of anti-God stuff.  (sigh)  When I'm ready start down the path again to finding my answers then I'll spend a little more time actually digging. For now, I just want to focus on just being me and losing this weight.  The questions still bother me but I have to put them on a back burner. The funny thing is that I never had any of these doubts until I got into ministry. I mean there were the normal "questions" that all Christians have and some of the qeustions were the same but it was never "doubt".  I always accepted that I just wasn't supposed to understand all of that and that one day it would all be clear.  Who knows what went wrong.  I have found that when you have questions like that in church people tend to shun you or avoid you.  That's the problem with churches today, they don't have any balls!  They're a bunch of zombies.  The ONLY church I've EVER been to that was not like that was Freedom Biker Church.  They don't even have a church building, they meet in a storage building/shop.  Before that they had a big carport/awning on the side of the highway.  They have an awesome website and awesome literature though!  I really felt those were true, free Christians.  I wi**** were not so far away. http://www.freedombikerchurch.org/

Your first paragraph described me in high school.  I had doubts and nobody wanted to know.  I'd ask how they knew the Bible was "real"  and they'd say because it says it is.  I'm thinking, "I could write a story and in that story say it is true and that does NOT prove it's true."  So I know exactly where you are coming from there.  I went to Bible college to get some answers.  I figured that since I had been brought up in Christianity all my life, I wanted to give it a good chance before I abandoned it.  I also figured that if I couldn't get satisfactory answers at Bible college, they weren't out there and I'd go my merry way.  I got my answers.   When you're ready check out Evidence that Demands a Verdict by Josh McDowell and/or try to find an Alpha course.  I went on one of those a couple of years ago and it was really helpful. www.alphana.org

There are denominations that may better suit you:  two come to mind:  Religious Science (not technically a church, but studies all religions) and Unitarian.  I believe it was Goerte who said (paraphrased badly - my bad), "there is more good leadership in a man who proclaims honest doubt than in one who claims to have no doubt at all."  Think religious zealots, they certainly have zero doubt.  Jesus himself questioned churches and walked out of many.

Intriguing!!!  Wow, thanks!  Now I have something to do today at work!  Very interesting stuff!

Hey go easy - my boyfriend's a brit!

well then he KNOWS all this! Ask him if he is a Young Ones fan? This is where I got my taste for rebelling against the monarchy!