Total accountability

I discovered something this week that was obvious to me, but not something I was paying a whole lot of attention to.  I started my journey in July of 2005 and by July of 2006 I had lost 142 pounds.  i did it using a low-carb, low-fat approach, taking into huge consideration portion control as well.  I tracked my food on Self.com and at the very beginning stayed around 900-1000 calories, and as I progressed to heavy workouts I stayed between 1300-1400 calories.  As with every program we start taking liberties and I found myself doing that.  I started after my arm lift surgery in September of 2006.  When I was ready to recover from that I was into the holiday season.  Then after the holidays I was getting back on track and then I had my Lower Body lift on March 27.  So I have taken some liberties with food that I hadn't done for the whole time I was changing my habits.  I noticed the weight was creeping back on but I didn't pay too much attention.  We have ways of justifying all kinds of things in our lives!!!!  Well, after my LBL I was pretty swollen and I stayed away from the scale for fear of what it would say.  I had stepped on the scale  before that point and it creeped up from 215 to 220, 225, and then settled in at around 230.  That's  up 15 lbs from my lowest, which breaks my heart.  I had a fairly long recovery, 1 month, and I ate a whole lot of things I shouldn't be eating.  Nothing like when I was 350 pounds, but those 90 calories granola bars sure add  up.  After I was finally feeling like myself again, just this past week, I was finally able to go out.  Well it had gotten warm out so I pulled out the summer clothes.  Taking into consideration I was and am still swollen from the surgery I tried on a pair of capris and they were TIGHT!!!! I was devastated, so I stepped on the scale.  237, up 22 pounds from my lowest weight.  I was not happy at all, upset beyond belief with myself, and vowed that it was time to get serious again!!!!

The point of this post?  I think that we tend to underestimate the amount of food we eat.  I went back to tracking my food and just  eating what I had normally been eating I was up to 1396 calories.  That's just breakfast, lunch, dinner and a mid-morning snack!!!!!  Now add to that all the other stuff I was grazing on, the 90/100 calorie packs and the fact that I was eating a whole lot bigger portions before, and I could EASILY have doubled, even tripled those calories.  I was definitely staying on my plan for my meals, I tend to eat repetitively.  But I was added a whole heck of a lot more to my day.  Calories DO add up.  Add to that I haven't been able to exercise since March 27 and I'm feeling it badly.   I know that having to take off 22 pounds is a heck of  lot easier than looking at the number 350 on the scale and feeling overwhelmed.  But it made me realize that it IS a life long journey and not just a quick fix at all.   I think everyone needs to track their food and realize that it's not just eating the right things but realizing that HOW MUCH you eat really makes a difference.  Chicken is great for you, 3-4 ounces of it.  Eat 8-10 ounces and you are up to 500 calories without even blinking.  I didn't go nuts and eat bags of chips and cookies and boxes of cinnamon buns.  But I did eat too much of a good thing, which is just as bad.

You can avoid the scale and pretend that you aren't eating a lot, but in the end there is one person  you have to be accountable, and that is yourself only!!!!!!! Thanks for reading, if you got this far! Donna

donna -  woman, i feel you. its so easy to make excuses. and then make some more. and then some more. things have been crazy the past few months and the eating has gone nuts. i am trying to take comfort in the fact that i am at the same weight i was in 2003 before i started any of plastic surgeries. although that's not really that comforting since obviously i had a lot chopped off and cut off. and that's about 13 lbs above my lowest weight. my trainer was like well maybe your body just wants to stay around 168-174 and i said no, not really. i just need to get back to eating less and stop being so liberal and my body will be fine going back down to the sustainable 160-162 range, which is where i prefer to be. its so hard. so important to keep perspective and not beat up on yourself. yes i am still more than 105 lbs below my high. so that's good. but not that good. i want to be back at 120 lbs from my high. but you are right - this goes to show it is a life long journey that will have lots of ups and down and i guess the idea is that those ups and downs don't get out of control.  i'm just coming off my 10 year high school reunion this weekend where naturally i ate WAY WAY too much. it was very peculiar because there were a few people i actually haven't seen since graduation so of they were all like you look fabulous etc etc. but i didn't feel fabulous. i feel fat and shlumpy. i have exactly a month before i head back into the OR for my revisions and i'd really like to be in a "safer" place before then. let's get back with the program together.  i miss you here. i know you're all over the PS board but i like seeing you here too.

Hi Andrea, I was so hoping you would post to this.  I actually read a post of yours after I posted this, talking about the exact same thing, tracking our food.  I feel that it is so right on.  I have to tell you, I'm not eating a whole heck of a lot and it's EASILY adding up to 1400 calories.  I can't begin to imagine what I would have been up to had I truly been tracking every single thing I ate.  I cringe to think about it, honestly I do. Starting at 352 pounds I didn't quite reach those magical numbers in the 1's.  I got as low as 210 for 5 minutes.  I stayed closer to 215-220 for the longest time.  Like you said, it's still 132 pounds lower than my heaviest, but 215 wasn't even as low as I wanted to get.  I truly want to see below 200, I really do.  I am also heading into one more surgery, breasts and axilla, which by the way I have been looking at your pics and I think that extended to the back scar is what I am going to need.  I have a lot of "bra overhang" and I am really afraid he isn't going to get it.  I want this to be my last so I need it to be right.  I'm fully committed to being, as you said, "in  a safer place" well before then.  I think I am doing it sometime in September.  I know that perhaps losing more weight is going to affect the surgeries I already had, but I'm not talking 50 pounds.  I'd really like to just take off what I put back on. I actually felt great at 215, I'd be golden at 210.   I miss being here.  I remember the old days.  I wonder what happened to Kasey, Lynette and Phyllis???  I promise to hang around more, and remember my roots!!! We are in it together now, good luck!!!! Donna

yeppers, this is the back to basics reminder. I love it about WW that they advise regular reality checks on portions.  I am very much guilty of oh it's turkey, i can eat two when i am not present and honest. I say, even the healthy stuff in the wrong portions is just as detrimental.  Good reminder, Donna!

Hi Neecee, I keep remembering one thing throughout my entire journey.  It's something that runs through and through my entire profile from the very beginning.  That is accountability, completely.  I realized a long time ago that I was the only one it mattered to, and that is the way it should be.  If you can't be honest with yourself, what do you truly possess as far as self-respect? It's SO easy to justify, but so hard to truly live with if you are honest with yourself. It's lifelong, not a bandaid, as you well know!!!! Donna

Hi Donna, OMG!! you are sooo right!  I too like you lost a lot of weight.  In 2 years I lost 210lbs and I got really comfortable and happy to be 218lbs. I felt amazing and thin (well thin for me!).  BUT, this last year I have really been struggling. In jan. I stepped up my workouts and that helped, but only to lose .2-.5 lbs a week.  Which I am not syaing isn't good, but wow, sooo slow compared to before.   I felt like I was losing and gainning the same 5-10 pounds back all year.   And then I started thinking about how much my life has changed----go out a whole lot more, therefore more opportunities to eat and drink more.  I was not as strict on my food and drink intake. AND, I finally realized it's what I'm putting into my mouth. I wasn't tracking what I was eating anymore, like you.  I was just so happy to be out enjoying life that I kinda of lost track of what my goals were.  I am so happy I decided to join WW last week, because it was like a wake up call.  And that first day when I had to track my food and journal my points, WOW, I had the same reaction you did.  I couldn't believe how much I had been eating.  It really does add up with out even knowing. I had truly lost track of that point.  Here's the funny part--this past year, I would just keep telling my self that my body must just be at a  healthy, happy  place and doesn't want me to lose any more weight!!!  Did I just write that.  Oh my head is hanging.  The things I tell myself for justification. Anyway, I am so glad you got back on track and that I can jump on board with you!!  I am soooo happy for your weight loss and about your surgeries too.  I am having a chin and neck lift in June that I am sooo excited about.  Did your insurance pay for your LBL?-please let me know.  I am talking with my insurance about that as well.   Thanks for a great reminder! Katy

 

Hi Katy, Welcome to the "back on track and being accountable" club!!!  Reading your post I could have wrote it.  Complacency is something that plagues us all.  We can all avoid the scale but I think when it comes to slipping back into last seasons clothes, and finding they don't fit quite as well as they did when you put them away, only severe denial can get you through that!!! I refuse to buy bigger, it's just not happening.  I didn't save anything I grew out of, so either I go broke or lose the weight I put on!!! :haha: Good luck and just know that we are all in this together!!! Donna

You know.. I keep hearing this keeping track of your calorie intake stuff...  I'm starting to get the hint but I'm still fighting it!  Argh! (growl!!)  

Hmmmmmmmmmm, a short post from Chris???  Temporarily at a loss for words??  Do me a favor, just humor me.  Next time your wife makes pasta, measure out 1/2 a cup.  The next time you have chicken, measure out 3 ounces.  I think it will become VERY clear to you then! It's all up to the way it works for you, Chris.  No, tracking is not fun, but it's amazing how our eyes deceive us!!!

I measured out some Cap'n Crunch saturday morning.  (Weekend treat, normally its oatmeal or something) 1 serving (3/4 cup) filled a little over half of my bowl. I usually eat a bowl full so I measured out another serving and it was a bowl full. :)  I measured out a cup of 2% milk and it was too much milk but since I had already poured it I drank about 3/4's of it and gave the rest to Smokey who turned her nose up at the sweetened milk. :)   Anyways if I can remember correctly the Cap'n Crunch was 100 calories per serving and the milk was 130 calories.  I haven't yet tried the whole pasta measurement yet cuz I normally don't eat pasta. That's the wife's thing but rice on the other hand.... :)  I'll measure dinner tonight and see how much it looks like. The cereal measurement revealed nothing for me.  Question though, how in the world do you measure out 3 ounces of chicken if you don't have a scale?  Normally I eat a whole chicken breast and then a palm-sized portion of whatever sides I'm having.  This is still LOADS less than I ate before.  Before, it wasn't chicken breast it was thighs and they were fried. I'd eat about 3-4 of those and a leg with about 3-4 palm-sized servings of the sides.  Mac-n-cheese?  I had to make two packs cuz I ate one by myself.  So even though I'm not measuring my food out my intake has been seriously reduced. It's working for now but I imagine the more weight I lose I will definitely have to adjust my portions again.  I find it easier to just eat pre-portioned pre-packed foods and I tend to do those types quite often for lunch and breakfast. Dinner probably gets out of hand though. Did I make up for the short post??   hahah!