one more comment on the bmr charts

It came to my dense mind last night!  My RD colleagues tell me that all scientific standards are on the generous side. For example, a child's nutritional needs are based on an active 10 year old boy.  Many have said it - it is only abenchmark - when the scale does not move for you and you have been measuring and having truth in reporting, time to scale down.

But what if you've scaled down too much and that's why you're not losing?  :)  That puts a twist into things! Might have to scale up then? I'm going to try 1800-2000 and see what happens!  I ate a larger breakfast this morning. Had a craving for cereal so I had about two cups. Didn't measure it but I eyeballed it.  Also had a banana so that was about 550 calories or so with the milk.  Wasn't hungry at snack time, normally i'm starving.  About to go for lunch at the mexican joint with the guys. Gonna see if I can order something non fattening but if I overeat then I'll do a lighter dinner.

IMHO:  I think that applies to near-athletes, very competitive people.  One chick on E/F board for example, does like 3 hours of aerobis plus weight nearly day - she should eat below a certain level. Very few people at too few calories for days on end - most of us have a few lower days, then a couple higher days!  Round here, wls folks do need be aware of that because of severe caloric restriction.  Of course, the other approach might be to back off on the level of exercise in that case.

again, it is very difficult to actually be eating to little at this point. especially if you are "eyeballing." if you believe you've scaled down too much and that's why you're not losing, you really need to go see a professional. wouldn't you rather know what you need to be doing rather than playing around with the formula randomly and getting frustrated? fine, i understand you don't want to write things down, but the measuring, you can do and to be succesful in the long term, you will need to do. buy a calorie counting book or use the internet to get the info. there are TONS and TONS of research studies on how TERRIBLE humans are at "estimating" caloric intake and even worse at estimating portion sizes. like the average deli bagel is like 6 bread servings. plate of restaurant pasta can be 8 servings. in this day and age, portions are so out of control and people in general have no concept of what a "normal" serving should be. like hundreds of calories off. 2 cups of special K is 220 while 2 cups of yogurt cheerios is 300. it ads up.

I actually do want to go see a nutritionist.  I'm having issues with my insurance right now though so it's just gonna have to wait until I get better insurance.  I can't even get the stupid company to send me the cards much less pay for anything. I have been using calorieking.com. I think you suggested that once before. I agree with you on everything. You're absolutely right.  For whatever reason I can't bring myself to "measure" my food. I think it might be a mental thing. Not sure but that's one of those restrictive routine things and you know how much I hate being told I can't do or have something.  Tell ya what, I'll try it out this weekend when I cook my meals. I'm gonna be out a lot and will probably have to eat out more than I want to but when I do cook I'll measure out my portions and compare that to what I "think" is a portion.  I'll even try to plan my eating out events by using calorieking and deciding on what restaurant and what item I will have beforehand.

It occurred to me that you may not have come across the visual porioning along the way yet, Chris.   A serving of meat  ~4 ounces = palm of your hand 1 cup rice/pasta = size of your fist 1 tablespoon - top section of your thumb 1 serving cheese 1 ounce - lentgh of your thumb (not down to your wrist, either, chubs!) My other thought is to try measuring even once, just a one cup serving  for a supper to really *see* the serving size on your plates/bowls.

There's no harm in keeping track in your head or on paper once in a while, just think about how to get closer to a real serving of ______ and cal lit what it really is.  If it is two serving, okay, just so ya know that. I know you know the value of journaling, but it is a trip to do for say a month, then you really do realize every mouthful.

I wish someone could answer why I am so stubborn and unorganized. Maybe then I could really focus on doing all these things! lol

this is what a therapist is for..... sorry, gotta promote the field....

Do you think they could really help?  Never been to one but my wife has.  She hasn't had very good experiences.  They followed the typical stereotype and blamed her actions on her childhood.  In her case they might've been correct but who knows.  I don't consider myself to be a mental or unstable person.  When I need to be organized I can be very good at it.  I just don't practice it on a normal basis and I'm reluctant to make lifestyle changes that confine me to a schedule.

When the insurance situation is resolved I believe I will start seeing a psych and a nut. :)

okay therapy has nothing to do with being unstable or "mental" but in my non-professional opinion, given the sorts of things you talk about in your posts, i think the RIGHT kind of therapy could be very helpful for you during this time in your life. that's the unfortunate part - there are lots of bad therapists out there and many schools of thought. the childhood blaming is actually only one of many approaches (thats more psychodynamic, freudian etc) as opposed to a cognitive approach which deals with how your thinking, feelings and behaviors influence one another. i myself am integrative - it is all equally valid, you just have to use the right approach for the right kind of client and the right kind of problem. this whole reluctance/resistance thing you have going on - that is coming from somewhere. that stages of change deal - there are reasons why you are staying stuck or wobbling between different stages. i know my weight loss journey/lifestyle change has HUGE psychological aspects to it that i didn't even know about. and it wasn't "typical" emotional eating at all - it was completely unrelated other stuff. the mind/body connection is huge and as soon as i started really facing up to some of those aspects, i started losing the weight more consistently and regularly. and i definitely don't consider myself unstable or mental.  unfortunately there is a lot of stigma involved in mental health, which is very very sad. but its just like any other area of health - if you had cancer, you'd get treatment. if you have problems that might have a psychological component, that deserves treatment as well. i have yet to encounter ANYONE - clinically or in my regular life - who doesn't have some issues with self-esteem, eating, body image, weight etc regardless of whether they are normal size or objectively overweight. much of my research in graduate school has focused on the correlations between obesity/disordered eating and affective problems and the psychological aspects involved in dieting, overweight and obesity. actually my dissertation which i am currently avoiding is on binge eating in adolescent obesity. fun fun. anyway, i'm overloaded clearly - but the reasearch is there and glaringly obvious. the psychology involved in all of this is integral in finding long-term success. i would encourage anyone trying to make major life changes to involve a mental health professional if at all possible. its a pain in the butt finding the right fit, but once you get one, there are no limits to how helpful it could be.  i know a number of really great people in the durham area. i can ask them if they have any referrals for the charlotte area if you life (the best way to find someone is through personal referrals, fyi - not the kind of thing you just want to pick out of  a phonebook).