BMR, TDEE and proper calorie intake

online calculators for RMR are notoriously off. similar to the calorie counters on the treadmills - they are right for a very small amount of people, but for most, they are pretty off.  you should go to a good nutritionist or weight loss center and get your personal RMR taken. you breathe into a machine for awhile and it figured it out based on your specific oxygen content. its a very interesting experience. you should also go and get dunked to find out your body fat - i believe the more info we have to work with, the better off we are. go to a nutritionist just for a one time assessment so they can tell you officially, looking at your particular body composition, activity level, food likes/dislikes and come up with a personalized and realistic plan for you - honestly, it will be the best investment you can make. whats the point in doing all this hard work and getting nowhere? we can all go on about our theories of how many cals work for me, neecee, joe on the corner but only you and a professional working with you can figure out what is right for chris. this is more in reference to your other posting but i am too beat down to reply separately. i know you don't want to hear this, but i think you really need to start monitoring your intake  - in a journal, on a computer program - something. its very difficult to make progress, recognize patterns and tweak your program as needed if you don't really know what you've been doing. you need to take the responsibility of measuring - 1 cup of rice is 200 cals, 2 cups is 400 cals - this is a big difference. when you pack your tupperware container for lunch, only measure out a cup of rice or a cup and half or whatever you have PLANNED to eat, rather than just filling the container mindlessly. in the beginning, its really important to put these external controls on yourself unti lyou can "trust yourself" again with food (i still am not there yet). for example, measure out only what you've PLANNED to eat, then stick the rest in the fridge. recruit your wife to help you out a bit more by only cooking portions for the two of you or by portioning out the meal into leftovers containers before you sit down to eat. find her some recipes of lighter ways to make some of your favorite recipes. there are TONS of healthy recipe books out there, cooking light online etc etc. make healthy cooking an activity you do together. make it fun. it is VERY easy to make a baked rigatoni dish low-fat using boca crumbles, measuring out the amount of noodles, using low fat cheese, filling it with lots of hidden veggies etc.  or even small changes - like using lower fat content ground beef or ground turkey makes a difference. DFC makes a very good baked ziti where they bake it in individual dishes, so you get your own big dish all to yourself and don't have to worry about portioning it out.  like we talked about before - you are kind of at an in between place with the stages of change, perhaps fluctuating back and forth between different stages trying to decide if its really worth it.  as i mentioned, it is rarely a linear process.

In addition to the calculators I also went through the actual equations and came up with similar numbers. The difference being the caculators round up. Andrea I know you're right but the whole food journal thing is something I'm just not willing to take on right now.  It requires routine and organization and you know I hate that stuff. I'm a free spirit! lol  I don't even balance my bank accounts so I don't see how in the world I can balance and plan my meals.  I keep a running total in my head for both the bank and my calorie count.  I typically plan my meals in the morning but when I eat leftovers or self-prepared foods I really don't know how many calories are in them but I have a good guess.  Perhaps one of these days I'll test the measuring and food journal.  I did try fitday.com but gave up after having a hard time figuring out what ounces of the various veggies went on my subway club.   All of this really boils down to I am being way to hard on myself. Whatever I am doing is working despite it's not working as fast as I want it to. I am losing the weight and though I gain from time to time I still lose the gains and then some.  It's been a really bad week and I've been super hard on myself and for what?  I guess I just like further punishing myself.  Anyways, since I saw the gain the other day or whenever it was I've become addicted to the scale again.  This morning I broke the 300 pound barrier I've been trying to set. It was my first mini-goal, my first goal is 275. I'm still in denial though cuz the excitement of reaching 298.5 still has not set in but I'm no longer beating myself up at least!  Yesterday I had a great day for food.  I had the leftover rigatoni stuff for dinner, but this time I only ate a 4x4x2 portion with no bread.  At 9pm I was a little hungry so I ate, very slowly, 8 large seeded grapes.  I buy the seeded kind because it forces me to eat them slow cuz I can't stand the crunching of the seeds! Thank you all for being there for me through these times of need. I'm probably the most needy person on this board. Thanks for putting up with it! I'm a big whiney baby but at least I admit it!  Thanks for all the suggestions, information, empathy and support!