My BF's NON-Weight Loss is Making ME Cry!

We've both been watching our calories pre-op...he started at 370 and is now 366 (4 pounds)-- I started at 368 and am now 347.6 (20.4 pounds). This just the OPPOSITE of what I expected, knowing that men lose faster. I posted about this two weeks ago-- he had a stomach virus, and people said, "Wait until it passes, then you will see." Went to the gym last night-- and again...no change. He is eating 1800 cals. a day, I eat 1500, but he is male and 5 inches taller. We exercise together, and I know he isn't "cheating." The only differences I can think of is that he is on blood pressure meds (I am not) and he has a history of dieting, and I really don't. (I've upped exercise for health, but never followed a "prescribed "diet.) In any case, I can't feel as good as I'd like about my own progress without him. Can anything really explain this? We're stumped. -S.

What does he drink?  I know for me I won't lose a single pound no mater what I do if I drink soda, even diet soda.  When I cut out my soda and replace it with water the pounds shed off like yours have. Eventually they do level out and slow down to the 2-3 a week as normal.   Also, how long has he been doing this?  Everyone loses differently, he may have to decrease his calories to 1500 a day, maybe even 1200 to get ths lbs rolling off.  I am also supposed to take blood pressure meds but I quit taking them because I hate taking medicine. I DO NOT advise he do that!  My BP is borderline and the meds were a safety precaution. His case may be more severe.  Also, have him ask his doctor if his BP meds have a diuretic in them. My doctor prescribed me Zestoretic which is lisinopril and hydrochlorothiazide, a diuretic. What type of exercises does he do?  He should focus most of his efforts on cardio at the moment.  I've picked up running but because of my weight it's starting to take a toll on my knees and ankles. Brisk/fast walking may be best for him or even better is an eliptical machine if you have access to it.

We're both far too large/out of shape to start with most exercises that would be optimally beneficial-- we're walking and doing water exercise for starters-- this will increase as we're more able. His blood pressure medicine *does* contain a diuretic, but he does not drink soda. He does drink about 2 cups of coffee a day (I do not-- quit caffeine cold turkey 2 months ago.) I'm still kinda befuddled! I was so sure he'd leave me in the dirt, and here I am all sad because he's lagging behind...  :( -S.

He's already doing great, 4lbs is a success! I would say the meds are not causing him to lose slower. I would rather think that the meds have kept the weight off of him this long because of the diuretic. The diuretic is helping him not to retain the water so the weight he is now working off is actually fat. I've always heard that eating 1800 calories a day is best for a person who has reached their goal weight and wants to maintain. I think his best bet is start trying to lower his intake to 1500 a day or less and really push hard at the walking to get his heart rate up.  I know it's hard and it takes a LOT of self discipline, god do I know! lol  Unless he has some type of unknown medical condition then 1500 calories a day and the exercise will make him lose weight. I also drink coffee in the mornings and there's nothing wrong with it.  I try to drink 80-100oz of water a day and I find it fairly easy to do most days. I would say he needs to get in at least 64oz of water each day. I hope some of this helps to put you at ease!  I don't think you have anythign to worry about with him. I think he's just a little ahead of you because of his meds. :)  You'll probably slow down on your losses too, don't get discouraged. I just hit that level too.  It was really nice seeing 10-20 lbs come off really quickly but now I'm getting down to the nitty gritty or the slimey greasy. :)

Kris-- I've lost 20+ pounds, he's lost four...THAT'S why its confusing--- he's not ahead, he's behind.  His meds SHOULD assist in water weight loss, at least, you'd think. We're gonna keep plugging--- who knows what's right for us, you know?

What I was trying to say is that his meds have already assisted all they are going too. They keep his water weight off of him.  A person will lose 1-3 lbs per week (without WLS), if they lose anything more it's the water weight coming off.  Since he doesn't have water weight he's actually losing fat which comes off much more slowly.  I lost 20 lbs in the first two weeks. Now I'm having to work hard to get even 1 lb off. So to his 4lbs I say awesome job!

That makes a LOT more sense! I was trying to wrap my head around that the other night, but you put it succinctly! Thanks so much!

I have a habit of giving the unabridged version most of the time. lol.  For some reason it's hard for me to type a one or two sentence paragraph. I always feel like I have to elaborate or people just won't understand what I mean. Obviously it's an OCD issue and I'm just confusing people more! lmao!

Maybe I'm too much of a loner to be giving advice but Girl! you've got to take care of yourself first and foremost.......I know that endeavors such as this do go easier with a partner in crime....but with weight loss no two are ever going to be the same...... There could be many reasons why your BF is not losing the weight as quickly as Chris has alluded to several....one could be that his body is now in starvation mode and fighting to keep every bit of fat to feed itself....don't worry eventually it will start to melt away if he is doing all the right things......you may find yourself in time experiencing the exact opposite in emotions when his losses surpasses yours..... 3500 calories is a pound so if you ate 500 hundred calories less a day that would be 1 pound a week and on and on and on.......just don't go to extremes unless medically supervised  I would shoot for 500 calories a day less and 500 calories extra a day burned resulting in 1000 a day deficit multiply it by 7 (7000) and divide by 3500....ending in 2 lbs a week..... At y'alls weight 500 calories is easy to get to because ironically the more you weigh the more calories you burn in the same amount of time as a 150 pound person.....almost 1 1/2 times!!!!  Be happy for yourself and as for him HE IS A SUCCESS, if anything consider it a baby step towards the ultimate goal!!!!  Both of you should be commended for even starting......

Maybe it is the diet that he is on.  Are u two on the same diet?  Maybe he needs to change to a more protein based diet.  He may need more calories like 2200cal.  Can he see a nutritionalist?  He may need to add weight training and lean muscle.  The most important the is not to give up the body goes into absolute panic and will stall weightloss.  Stay encouraged!  And 4 pounds is great!  It is 4 pounds down! Alisha