Doing it without WLS

Hi all! I've been a member for almost a year now and am just now checking out this board. I'm one of those who has been seeking WLS and am now considering doing it without. This is mainly because of all of the hoops I've had to jump through over the past year and still making no headway with my insurance company. My husband (bless his little pointed head) says that we can "do this thing together" by eating right and not being so lazy. I'm having a lot of difficulty getting motivated. Mainly because he'll lose his 30 - 40 pounds in 2 or 3 months and I'll still be struggling to lose 5 or 10. He hasn't lived with 100+ extra pounds for most of his adult life. I'm terrified of trying and failing again. A year ago I had resolved to live the rest of my life at 275 pounds because I was turing 40 and nothing ever seemed to work for more than a month. Now I'm back on the rollercoaster and feeling lost. I need some inspiration from those in the "thick" of it. Any advice, tips, secrets, bribes . . . anything would help. Thanks! Sonja

Hi Sonja, Welcome! I'm sure others on this board are sick of me saying this but it's true -it isn't a race. I always compared myself to others who lost weight fast & I just couldn't. Change your habits, slowly if that works for you, and the weight will come off. It took me almost 3 years but I did it. My husband can drop weight quickly, too. It's a man thing! Good luck! Juli

Hi Sonja I know EXACTLY how you feel about the Dh thing: most recently the mood decidedly changed when my DH annouced "I gained nothing over Xmas!" I about flipped OUT - I did n't gain either, BUTTT...he ate LIKE A PIG and drank like a fish, did not exercise one day. Here's me at our parties: sipping one lite beer, indulging in one appetizer, putting like 50 miles on my bike, taking 2-3 hour walks while I was off. But HEEEEE didn't gain any weight. I swear to you, I about snapped. I hate his metabolism, I really do! He drinks like a bottle of wine every day after work - PS: that alone is nearly the calories I eat daily! But I'm NOT bitter - LOL Like Juli says, it is not a race and we can gripe our heads off all day, it changes nothing. As for inspiration, keep coming to the boards - even on the lap band/rny boards, a fair amount of people STILL struggle, so WLS is not the end, where it is all taken care of. I may end up with surgery yet (lapband), but even if I do I completely get it that I still can't: not exercise not eat whatever i want every day not get up every day and not have a health plan going Please read my profile. I have went to my doc, asked for help, got an EKG, got cleared to take an appetite suppressant, eating bariatric foods and some regular foods, etc. I am almost 50 yo, and I admit that I am not able to this on my own - it's been too many years of me failing with my own big ideas. Welcome to Hell! I'm teasing - it's just more fun with more people here to hold hands with!

Hi Sonja, I hope you find some inspiration here. To me this whole website is inspiring and even though I am not currently planning WLS I get inspiration from how other folks are doing no matter what their approach. I am up to 68.5 lbs lost and I count every little half pound I can to get motivated. The thing that has worked best for me so far is to have a pretty solid routine. The less I vary from it the better my results. So I have pretty predictable meals and a pretty predictable work out schedule. I am putting this effort ahead of other things now since I really need to do this. Good luck!! Sherry

Sherry: Thanks for the encouragement! I'm beginning to make small changes in my lifestyle, and I know that as long as I can stick with those changes and adapt as needed I will lose the weight I want to. In the past I too have used pretty strict routines - - until I don't that is. My problem is staying power. I tend to get bored, or more accurately lazy, and then I just stop. I'm tired of failing and need to stay motivated. The one difference this time is this website and the people here. I'm praying that I will continue to receive the support and determination I need to keep me going. Thanks for your kind words - and gook luck to you as well!

I just posted something about help with WL without surgery. I did have the surgery 10 years ago and did loose 90 lbs...but I am stuck one because I am diabetic and am on medications that cause the weight to stay on..I haven't moved up or down the scale more than 2 lbs up or 1 lb down...if I come off the insulin then the weight comes off slowly but my blood sugars are elevated which cause more problems then obesity. So I just had a long talk with my husband and he has been supportive and would be in any decision but tonight said that he wants me to look into other directions beside surgery. One very important thing that surgery doesn't help is how we look at food why we process food and for what needs. If we are addicted to food or eat for other needs including stress then all the cutting and reconnecting the doctor does will not the end cause us to keep the weight off...A harsh fact non the less but so true..We also consider the fact that many of us come from families who are genetically made with obesity and weight disorders that were not of our choosing. I am one. My great grandmother weighed 600 lbs at her death and my father's side of the family as well as my siblings are all obese. Yes we love to eat but we are genetically made from the same piece of cloth so to speak. I think we will always have to struggle to keep our weight off. Look around you and you find many people who too are obese because of where they came from. Well i have talked enough...Decreasing carlorie intake, increasing your metabolism by exercise and finding outlets around from food and redirecting thoughts of where the next meal is coming from...sounds so simple but we have been conditioned all our lives and we must change....linda

Welcome to the boards, Sonja! I also thought that I **needed** surgery. At my highest weight of 320 three years ago, I figured there was simply no other way. A few weeks after this some funkiness took place at my job and I decided that was it ... one way or another I refused to live like this anymore. I gave myself a year to lose something before trying to get approval, and fortunately I have never pursued it. Please PM me if you'd like to know more.

Sonja, I completely know where u r coming from. I have been looking into having surgery and I keep getting this feeling that I can do it without surgery. It has been a long hard road but I keep my chin up and make one change at a time. About two months ago I stopped drinking anything with sugar and no artificial sweetner. I loved diet coke. But I found it with splenda. What a great trade off! I love it. Artificial sweetner makes you hungry. And I stayed hungry all the time. Well now I have lost 18 lbs since then. I dont try too hard to exercise. I have a very busy schedule with two jobs and a 6 yr old daughter. But I do try to go to the ymca and exercise when I can. This week I can proudly say that I gave up the cigarrettes! Wow!!! That was tough!! I don't deprive myself of chocolate when I want it... I just substitute it. I have found a chocolate protien shake that taste great and is good for me. And keeps the hunger pains at bay for a while. I will still have a hershey when I want it. I have been doing a little research and have found some healthy snacks to munch on. But like I said. I dont deprive myself of anything. I found a hunger scale on line and when I want to eat I think of where I am at on the scale and only eat when it says to. I also drink water... It helps the hunger pains. Oh members says that crystal light is good but I haven't tried it yet. Dr oz says to eat a cup of soup 30 min before meal time... Lunch and dinner, that it helps curb your cravings and you don't eat as much. I think that I am going to try that next. I have started drinking 96 oz of water a day. I think the daily recomendation is at least 64 but because of my weight I try to drink more. And that helps too. All I can say is make one positive change at a time. I know that you should eat plenty of fruits and veggies so I have tried to make a point to add a piece of fruit to my diet every day some times two. I will add more as time goes by, the weight May be coming off slow but since I am doing it one thing at a time, I know that these changes will stay with me and sooner or later I will meet my goals. I hope that you do too!!! I forgot to add my highest weight was 306 and I am down to 288. Good luck.

Lillian: 18 pounds in 2 months is great! Sounds like you are on the right track. I get the thing about changing things slowly to adapt for the long term, and I think that is the only way I'm going to get it done. I just know me - - I'm afraid I'll get bored or lazy and stop everything at once. But I won't change anything until I try - right? I'll keep in touch, and you do the same, and maybe . . .just maybe we can kick this thing!!