serious issues

so it appears that i have began to develop a significant binging problem over the last few weeks. i am hoping it is related to the extreme craziness of my internship application process with all its unknowns and being out of routine since i've been flying all over the country. as opposed to having developed a new "real" problem - but its scaring me. i have never really been a binger before so i'm freaking out. any former bingers out there - what do you do about this? how do i stop it from getting out of hand??!?! sincerely, feeling desparate and disgusting

Hi Andrea, First of all, you are NOT disgusting! And, I can bet your binging is due to your erratic schedule. I am such a "routine" oriented person that when I get out of it, it throws me off & I hate it. I'm not trying at all to minimize your feelings, either, because I know how scary it is. We have come so far that we have that fear that a few bad choices will set us back. Remember several months ago when we discussed no exercise after our plastics & we were afraid of what would happen? We did just fine. Do you find that there is a certain time of day that is a trigger for you? How about a certain type of food? Is it boredom or loneliness? I used to binge eat but NEVER purged. After 9 months of hyperemesis with my pregnancy, I would NEVER make myself to do that. I was able to figure out my triggers & it helped immensely. I still just LOVE to eat! You will get through this. Take care, Juli

The "answer" for each person is as different as each of us are! You hit is dead on - it is a way you're dealing with anxiety this time. Remember you need a little more food - stressful times usually do make bodies need a bit more food, don't be scared, this may be all it is! I believe you said it recently: practice HALT. Ask yourself: are you Hungry? (my money is here - I bet you are not eating enough nutrient dense foods, it is extremely hard when traveling. i do it a lot, I know this first hand!) Are you eating too little???? It can be terrifying to "eat normally" when you've been fat, lost weight. if thayou're eating okay, balance out your food more, making extra sure you have dark leafy greens, red veggies/fruits, etc., as part of your diet daily. Angry? Find a way to deal with it - writing, calling a friend or sister (be careful about exercising, you know that can be another dangerous area Lonely? Are you isolating yourslef? stop it, and utilize the love of current friends or get new ones Tired? How is your sleeping doing? get assistance, or simply take more time - schedule it - to do nothing much. If it were me, i would delete that type of "trigger" food from my diet for a while - one day to start with. Repeat as needed. Andrea, I know how you feel. Please don't beat yourself up. You can break your anxiety into smaller manageable pieces. I'm here for you! feel free to e-mail me. PS I am going to be in downtown DC in ealry March - My conferecne will be very busy, but it would be very cool to hook up for a breakfast or something?

I was (I guess will always be) a card-carrying binge/purger. I was bulimic since age 12, finally faced it off with OA at ~age 30). Purging was my answer to managing the binging. Turns out, that was absolutely INSANE behavior. Purging was a way to deal with the self-disgust you brought up. If i got it out of my body, it was like I didn't eat enough for three days in one sitting. I was almost 40 years old before i really did not actually go to the toilet, flip the lid up and strongly think about bending over with my finger in my mouth. For about ten years, i would at least consider it but not act on it (well most of the time, there were about 4x annually that i might go into the bathroom and look into the mirror, look into my own eyes). Now, when i get that stuffed feeling (which is rarely), i don't even go there in my mind, not once. That day I realized I was not even considering that behavior was no less than a miracle. Not allowing myself to get to that stuffed place is pretty central for me. I manage that by dishing out my food in the correct portions on a smaller plate. I just don't get up to get seconds, i make myself wait at least 10 minutes. Most of the time, i don't "need" that second helping, i can just go about my way. Of course, I do have seconds once in a while, but not without reviewing "why" I feel this hungry. I hope all this helps you.