Tale from an Almost non post up

I dont post very often, but I thought I would just take a moment to post a general message to the "Non" post ops. I have been a "Non post up" a long time. I have followed this site since 2003, and have wanted WLS along time before that. The first time I learned of WLS was 98. Roseanne Barr had a talk show and mentioned she had WLS and lost alot weight. A few months later on another broadcast, she had on Dr. Fobi [fobi pouch or mini gastric bypass] and they talked about the procedure. At that time, I knew I needed WLS and was intrested in it, but really wasnt hard-set on pressed for having it. Through 99 and later, when WLS really started to come out in the news I started to become more intrested. You started seeing features on shows like 48 hours and other news programs where they would chronicle people who had lost hundreds of pounds and kept it off. At the time, it really seemed like a miracle and I started reading every newspaper article or watching tv shows I could find about it. I tried to do research online, but it was hard to find meaningful info back in 99 and even in later 2000. Finally in 2001, I made up my mind that WLS was going to be my only salvation. Well, as you all know its been along time since 01. Too make a long drawn out story shorter, It is very difficult having gone on this long, passionatly wanting something so badly, but always being let down. I have been to 2 surgerons, gone with 3 differnt insurers just to be turned down, or to lose my insurance. I seriously tryed to puruse going to mexico. or overseas, only to seemingly have it fall through at the last moment. As I said in my opening paragraph. Most people who have been members of this site as long as I have, have had surgery long before now. Most of this period I have weighed over 400+, at one point weighing over 500. I dont know what the intention of this post was, but I guess its sort of a "keep the faith" type post. I know how trying and difficult it is, when you want something so badly. I have constantly come to this site to read up and learn, but there were times where I would go months without visiting, because it was frustrating to come here. I would see all those, "I got a date" post about people proclaiming how it feels and all the trials theyve gone through, and to be honest it began to become demoralising. It was like everyone was having this surgery except me. Realtives, neighbors, celebrities. I never became jealous of any individuals, but it was this muted rage I felt, because it was as if I was living in damnation. It felt trully preverse at times. I got my date, and will be having surgery in just a few days from now. To be honest, when I got my date it was an anti-climatic feeling. I trully feel blessed to Finally have a Real surgery date after so many years. This may sound crazy, but I have thought about surgery everyday for countless years. Ive always phrased things about how it would be "after" surgery, and what I would be able to do "after" surgery. I have been obsessively paranoid about having surgery. I know my feelings for surgery and it being the "panacea" for my life have been irrational at times, but when youve have spent nearly half your life weighing 300+, and many of those years weighing 400-500+, enduring the inhumanity of super morbid obesity... I guess you dont have much else to dwell on or look forward to, besides "post op" life. [at least I didnt] To try and give an analogy of how I felt at times, I guess the way I felt, is how some women who have trouble conceiving, or never been able to get pregnant or have a baby feels, when she finally has a baby after trying for years. Well thats how I feel, even though im a male. To wrap this up, I guess im telling all the Non post ups, or people who Want surgery, even if it seems like they dont have any hope in currently getting it, to Not give up. I know im a quiter and that has been part of my problem, but Through All the years that I have wanted surgery, I knew that I would get it. I never had doubt I would have surgery, I just didnt know when. When I didnt have any money to pay, or insurance, even for periods of years, I knew I would have it one day. I have just had too much passion for surgery. I know that I have seemed to mortgage my entire future on being able to lose weight to "get on" with my life. I know I have harbored unreasonable expectations of surgery being a cure-all at times, but at least I can finally say my time has come. For those of you who still want surgery and are currently down because of setbacks, just "keep hope alive" and hopefully youll be able to finally be in the position Im in, with a real chance of potential of a healthier, better "post op" life.

Mr K, I'm happy to read that you will be getting WLS, especially since you have wanted it for so long - congratulations. The hoops you have to jump through can be very daunting indeed. Can't wait to read about you on the loosing side! I must be one of the rare odd ball people here in that I really want to do it with diet and not have to undergo WLS. I've given myself at least 2 years for diet to be successful (and so far in a month and a week I've lost more than 18 pounds) I'm also realistic and expect to lose 1-2 pounds with periods of stalls, I've got a great diet I'm happy with and I'm extremely determined. For me WLS is the last resort which I hope I don't have to use - WLS is actually motivation for me to keep on my healty eating plan. I come here to learn all I can about WLS so if the time comes and I need it, I will be extremely prepare, will know exactly what surgery I want and have realistic expectations. I'm thrilled when other's get their surgery dates, especially if insurance pays for WLS.

I thought I was the only one around here that gave myself a long term goal. I never put a time limit on my weight loss & it took me 2 years & 9 months to lose 120 lbs. I really set out to establish new habits and the weight loss was secondary to those changes. You will definitely hit stalls & just ride them out & keep the faith! After a few months, re-evaluate what your doing & make new changes & you'll start losing again. I wish you & your DH the very best! Juli

Hi Julie, it's so good to read about someone who is successful with dieting like you have done - I know this site is almost all WLS, but we're trying the avoid it. Thanks so much for your wishes.

Hi Mr K I wanted to send you congrats on your date!! I too am planning on the WLS II have done the blood work and the psych eval, everything is go so far, then sadly I just recently found out that I have type 2 diabetes so that will push me closer to my date! I am scared but I find that I am more scared for my family if I dont have it done, my son with out a mom, my husband with out a wife, it is just somthing that needs to be done, and I need it as well, my health isnt getting better, and I am with you on this one, you are in my prayers!! I weigh over 350# so I feel your pain!!