Weekly Weigh-In...

Hi Everyone... On Sunday I went on a crash+burn BINGE. Highly uncharacteristic of me and my lifestyle.... but hitting that brick wall, I realized one thing -- once the weight is gone, the PROBLEMS that go you there, don't just dissappear with the weight. My binge consisted of cookies, chips, and cake -- all day long. Monday+Tuesday I weighed 158 because of this... Wednesday I went back on my Wellbutrin -- hopefully this will help with "calming the voices" that are at a constant battle with each other over food. My food anxiety HOPEFULLY will recess to the point where I can deal with it consiously. To aid in this, I called a special FOOD THERAPIST who works with many Gastric Bypass patients in my state. We talked on the phone for a 1/2 hour -- it was one of the best 1/2 hours of my life, really. And I'm going to have a session with her on the 14th. I've come this far.... now I KNOW that I need a little help in channeling my skills to KEEP the weight off. I have proved that I can silence the voices in order to LOSE weight, now I need to learn how to silence them for LIFE. A little help never hurts. Anyways, Wednesday I went back to basics -- starting at 158. Today I'm at 156. That's two pounds this week.... and I hope to continue this positive pattern. The cold weather has never agreed with me. Every winter I always have gained 15-20 pounds... but guess what, I REFUSE to let that happen to me this year! Hope everyone else is doing okay. Don't be afriad to seek outside assistance if you find the battle is overwhelming. Beleive me, a counseler REALLY helps to put everything in line... GOOD LUCK everyone!! -CJ 250/156/140 (lowest, 149)

Actually my counseler did suggest I check out some OA meetings. I haven't sold myself on that idea yet though... I dont know, I think I just dont know enough about what OA is... but its something that im definately going to consider soon... It's tough... because I feel like it was MUCH easier for me to lose the weight than it is for me to maintain. With the weight gone.... the problems show through much more clearer than when I was heavy... maybe it's because I was in denial, and now I have nothign to "hide behind". Who knows. The past few days have been alright... I'm taking it one step at a time, trying to re-learn the new me and how I need to function for the rest of my life. -CJ