Hi! I'm new here!

Just thought I'd bite the bullet and post. I'm 44, married, with 3 children 24y/o, 14 y/o and 10 yr. I am in the process of contemplating WLS. I've got a lot of hoops to jump through though. I'm starting the physician directed diet program at my surgical center. For my insurance and for myself. I have to have 6 months of the program before my insurance will approve me. I hate to say it but I hope the diet program helps so that I won't have to have surgery but we'll see. I'm very scared of having the surgery....you know all those "what ifs''. It's a huge life changing surgery. I realize for the good but all of the things you have to give up but what I'm doing now I though, at this rate I'll be 400+ lbs. I'm already staring 300lbs in the face. I'm so out of control right now with my eating. I eat till I'm almost sick. I hate it. I suppose you could say that I'm binging right now. I eat because I can! I tried taking a bath the other day when I came home from work because all of my bones were hurting (I'm a nurse). I come home from work and am so sore from the day. Anyway, I thought I would wedge myself in the tub!! There are so many things I've given up all because of my binging. Time with my kids and my husband is number one on my list! Now I know that you all have heard and probably experienced the things I'm going through. Thank you for being here and for listening! Thanks, Janie

Hi Janey and happy 4th of July, Welcome to the non-ops board. Yes I have gone through all of the things you are going through. At the mention of "diet" suddenly I was eating more than I ever imagined I could. It was almost as if just saying the word made it feel as if it would never work, so onward to the binging. I don't know how to tell you how to help yourself. I really don't. I believe like with any addiction that the person has to hit bottom before they can really put a stop to it. The motivator for all of us is something different. For me it was pain. You can read my profile if you wish to find out what I mean. I wish you luck and strength in your journey, wherever it takes you. I can say one thing and this is not negotiable. You have to be prepared to make a complete lifestyle change. One that puts nutrition and health and overall well being first and foremost in your life. Being prepared to do that, with or without WLS is a very important component. The six months will be a great time for you to look at your life and figure out where you want it to go. Please continue to post and gain support here!! Donna

Good morning Janie, Welcome to the non-op's board. All of us here know how you're feeling. I'm a nurse, too, so I know what those aches & pains are like. I agree with what Donna said about the lifestyle changes. To lose the weight without surgery is a long & slow road but for me it was well worth it & I never second guess my decision. It was definitely the right thing to do for me. Feel free to read my profile & those of others to see how we came about our journey's. Just remember that there are others *****ally do understand how you feel. Juli

hi janie - congrats on giving the "natural" weight loss thing a honest and sincere go around before heading right into surgery. i think many people rush into WLS too quickly and then are stuck with all the emotional issues afterwards. you can make lifestyle change work for you - don't think of it as a "diet." And you've already taken an important step by coming here - support is one of the three major positive indicators of successful long-term weight loss (the other two are monitoring and exercise). i have done quite a bit of research on binge eating (including my dissertation). anyway, there are good treatments out there - like dialectical behavior therapy and others that may help you. maybe you could check some of those things out. a friend of mine was turned down for WLS twice because of emotional/binge eating - he just started a DBT program and is finding it very helpful. i hope you aren't offended and please don't take anything i say personally, but i know that for me, it was the mental changes that had to happen before the weight started coming off. early on, i was very mentally resistent to the program i was participating in and didn't lose a single pound by just eating right/exercise. i didn't lose anything until i accepted the fact that i really was not happy and really did want to be a better and healthier person. that mind/body connection is a very real thing. i still battle with these issues and probably will for the rest of my life - i just decided that the pros of living that way did not outweigh the cons. i started at 280 lbs and i have no doubt i would have kept gaining if i hadn't done something at that point. i have lost about 115 lbs. okay well sorry this is so long. i'm home recovering from plastic surgery and am very bored! hope you are having a good holiday. andrea

I'm affiliated with Overeaters Anonymous, which is a spiritual approach to addiction control, based on the 12 steps of AA. So far, it's working. I have "abstinence", which means I am following my food plan, and refraining (with my Higher Power's and the group's help) from compulsive overeating. I've finally started to lose weight - five pounds so far! This is my personal solution to a lifelong addiction to food. Denise Phares

Hi Janie, I am new to the board too! I know all of the issues that you are having, I am not a nurse I am a chef that is on my feet all day and I can feel your pain. After looking at the replies that you have gotten I will agree with them. It is all about a lifestyle change and you need to find the right one for you. I have been on a program for 18 months and have done very well. One thing that I have learned while being on this program is that DIET'S DON'T WORK! When we think about a diet we already feel like we are depriving ourselves, and they are only temporary fixes that we all seem to fall off of. You have to believe that you can do it and you will! I am 46 so we are around the same age and I finally decided to change my life to be around for my then 3 year old daughter. Her and my wife were the insperation for me to take control. I weighed much more than you and have lost 225 pounds so far and I am very happy I found this before I had surgery.I know the program I am on has saved my life and it is something I can stay with for the rest of my life if I choose to.There is also another thing so great about the program I am on I get a health coach as part of it at no cost!! You can do it and I have faith in you! Please let me know if I can help out in any way to get you going and motivated to keep on track. Please keep in touch us newbies need to take care of on another. Joeb

Hi Janie, I am new to the board too. I know what you are going through. I am not a nurse but I am a chef and am on my feet all day and the aches and pains add up. After reading the other posts I agree with them, it is all about a lifestyle change. I have been on a weight loss program for about 18 months (down 225 pounds) and one of the things that I have learned is that DIET'S DON'T WORK. They make you feel as if you are depriving yourself and even when you lose a few pounds it does not always keep you motivated. You have to find the right program that works for you, and I have found mine. My motivating force was to be around for my then 3 year old daughter and my wife. I am 46 years old (around your age) and need to be around for along time to come and the path I was on was not going to get me there. You need to know that you can take the weight off without surgery. I was in the process when a friend told me about this program. After just 3 months I cancelled my plans for surgery and have not looked back. Another good point to this program is you are given a health coach to help you along at no extra cost. They are people that have been through what you are going through so they can relate. I have faith in you Janie and I know you can do it if you want to! If you want I would be happy to help you along your journey ,just let me know. Us newbies need to take care of each other.:-) Joeb

Sorry about the double post. Remember that I am new and did not realize it takes some time before the posts appear. Joe

Hi Joe, I have been researching everything about the RNY surgery since my MD stated I had to have it due to my comorbidities. I am following a low calorie, low carb program with a nutritionist now as this is required by the insurance company. I started this journey in May and should be able to have the surgery in November if I decide to proceed. Anyway, the more I read about the surgery the more I wonder if I can really do this. I for one am an emotional eater and am working with a therapist and taking a course. My history includes many times loosing weight, lots of weight but never maintaining the loss. I am scared that even with surgery I would not be able to maintain unless I get a handle on my emotional eating. Then my thinking process moves on to OK if I get control of the emotional eating then why can't I do this on my own without the surgery. So, I keep going in circles. I have lost about 10 #in two months. I am working out at Curves and swimming. I am writing to ask what type of program you are on. The loss of 225 # is amazing in an 18 month period. Congratulations. I would appreciate hearing about your weight loss program. Thanks Karen

Welcome! Reclaiming your health is the best gift you can give yourself -- best of luck to you!