Recent Posts
It is sad that my BFF is not really my BFF anymore but I would not change what I have done for the world!
Good luck to you, everyone here is great and willing to offer help...
Thanks,
Stella
Thanks!
Stella
Hi All,
I am a new member as well. I have been looking at this site for years but just joined yesterday. I will be getting a Band over bypass on 10/11. I am looking forward to it and glad to see someone else has had it as well!
I am sorry to hear that you have had issues with your friends as your journey has progressed. I know that I have been extremely lucky in that my BFF has been great (but we do only get to see eachother a few times a year) and my husband has been amazing with it all over the years. I have to admit thought that I was never insecure or withdrawn. The only real change is that I am much more physically active.
Anyway, I too hope to develop a more formalized support system from people who have been through much of the same things I am going through.
Kim
On the bar above, click the "community" button and then scroll over to "events". All the information is on that page. Just click on "Sexy in the City."
You will be missed. Sending you strength and healing vibes...
LInda
The unfortunate truth is that people relate to us in a certain way, and their dependence on things always being the same brings them a measure of security and comfort. When the dynamic changes, it causes a shakeup; they can't count on you to do the same old dance with them anymore and that throws them for a loop.
When I was fat and insecure I endured a lot of disrespect. Partly because I thought I deserved it and partly because I thought if I alienated people nobody would love me. I was made to feel that I should be grateful for whatever crumbs I was thrown by all these "special" people. My low self-esteem made me vulnerable and easy to push around.
When I started to assert myself (and always in the nicest, most gentle, most sensitive way I could possibly do it) there was a shift in my relationships. Some for the better, others not so much. But I saw that certain people didn't have my best interests at heart, and they didn't want to be called to account for that.
I hear a lot of post ops say their friends complain that they lost weight and became a ***** or whatever. Cracks appear in unhealthy relationships when you no longer feel the need to give people a pass for their bad behavior.
I personally would rather have a few good friends *****ally love and support me, than a lot of toxic ones. When people mistreat you it says a lot more about them than it does about you!
It is a period of adjustment and re-evaluation, and it takes a lot of patience with yourself and others to work through it. But its worth it, so hang in there!
thanks!
Linda
