Recent Posts
on 10/15/11 3:55 am - East Windsor, NJ
How are you? I too have noticed a few issues with friends after surgery. I guess it comes with it. Eventually you can only hope they get over it and cheer you on!
I had my surgery in September so I'm really new at this :).
Hope to chat soon.
I am scheduled for my RNY on Nov. 1. It was a year of me dealing with insurance so a long process. I saw my surgeon back last September '10. Got the ball rolling. Did the nutritionist in the office etc. Finally got approved. Yippee.... Ok, but now i am just paperwork it seems. I got the packet telling me what Rx to pick up, procedures that need scheduling. I feel like he doesn't KNOW me.
I asked if he needs to see me prior to surgery and "no", not unless I need to see him. Anyone else feel abandoned? i mean, i am a bit nervous. My other doctors (vascular, endocrinology, PCP) have all been so great.
So, maybe it is just me... words of advice.
Catherine
"Death borders upon our birth, and our cradle stands in the grave. Our birth is nothing but our death begun."
Sheraine knows someone who is looking for a roommate. Please email her at [email protected].
Linda
Stella- congrats on such a amazing loss! I can only hope for the same!
In regards to the friends/family stuff.... My story is quite unique from what I learned in the WLS support group I went to pre-op. I was one of the guys and those guys were the jocks.. so my only issue with any type of teasing was from other girls jealous that I was so close with these guys and didn't have to degrade myself or sleep around. I was protected and no one messed with me. AHH the good ol glory days lol I will never forget on our senior trip to Disney, I tried to go on my first ever roller coaster, and I couldn't fit. Talk about embarrassing!!! I was mortified because the captain of the FB team wanted to sit with me. Instead of ridicule, he grabbed my hand and spoke quietly to the tech asking which row had the bigger seats... and did that all day on every ride. But now we are all in our 30s.. trying to be grownups lol My protection is gone due to people getting married babies jobs etc. so I am finding out more about myself and others because of the choice I made for ME. I am putting myself first for the first time in my life and like you guys have said, its like I am being punished due to people being afraid of the un known. I don't really know the point of this post and where I am going with it but it feels good to put in out there in words for the world to see...
Thanks again to you all... it gives me hope that I have a good shot at this and coming out on top FINALLY! :)
Nikki
Nikki & Kacs85,
Welcome to our every increasing, always decreasing family. There are great people on this forum. Know we’re here to help in any way we can.
Nikki - in regards to your issue with friends adjusting to your new outlook, this is very common. Friends, and sadly sometimes family, cannot truly relate what we go through. Whenever someone says something “demeaning" about my decision, instead of getting defensive, I take pity on them because they are “ignorant" to what I have gone through. They say they can sympathize with our plight, but honestly unless you’ve been in our pants (mine was a size 64) you can never truly understand our feelings or WHY we are choosing to alter our bodies in order to lose weight. I’ve also realized, many folks are truly concerning about our decision, but the way they express it can be off putting.
There are those groups of people who are afraid, not so much for US but THEM. They are afraid if we lose all this weight, our feeling towards them will change. I’ve seen this occur with spouses, friends and other family members. And truth be known, sometimes our feeling DO change. We become more EMPOWERED with ourselves, and we then begin to stand up for ourselves. When I was super morbidly obese I know I tended to accept more “abuse" (intentional and unintentional) because I felt I needed to be the stereotypical “fat jolly" man, and also I was afraid that if I spoke up I would lose that person’s relationship. Now I’ve realized that was wrong, and I need to set boundaries.
There is that group of people who associate us with FOOD and/or drink. They are afraid once we have the operation they will lose our friendship because we will lose that common bond. Little do they know, once we learn “how to live" properly with our tool we can still go out and enjoy ourselves, but on a smaller (HEALTHIER) scale.
Then there are those who are truly ignorant, and for those folks I just shake my head because no matter what you say or do they won’t accept it. That’s when you need to stop and ask yourself, if that person is truly worth it? My feeling, if you cannot accept my decision; help me on my journey, and give me encouragement to achieve my goal, then why do I need to bother. That’s when I lose the biggest about of weight – DEAD WEIGHT!!
GOOD LUCK!!
Tom
“Nothing I will ever eat will give me the feeling I get as when I lose weight” The views expressed are based on my own experiences - and should NOT BE FOLLOWED IN LIEU OF DOCTOR’S ADVICE/INSTRUCTIONS. Only your Doctor knows your condition, and make sure you talk to them before making any changes to your diet
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Not sure if you can get your ticket money back. Let me know if you're successful with the ticket.
Tom
“Nothing I will ever eat will give me the feeling I get as when I lose weight” The views expressed are based on my own experiences - and should NOT BE FOLLOWED IN LIEU OF DOCTOR’S ADVICE/INSTRUCTIONS. Only your Doctor knows your condition, and make sure you talk to them before making any changes to your diet
