I hate myself for being fat...

I had my gastric bypass surgery in NJ on Oct. 23, 2001. I went from 320 lbs to 195 lbs in less than a year. I looked great, but something inside of me must have hated it, because with in three years, I put back on 60 lbs. I thought I was doing so well, and I can't really blame it on anything. I mean, we all have personal trials, so I can't lay the blame on those. I hate myself for putting all this weight back on. And when I try to lose weight, I have problems with my blood sugar--I've tried sugar-free protein drinks because I can't eat a lot of meat without getting uncomfortable, and I've tried exercising recently, but exercise just makes me more hungry later on! I'm so angry at myself, and I'm ashamed to follow up with my surgeon. Has anyone else had these kinds of problems? How do I get back to where I was without making myself sick? Thanks in advance.

Hi Wendy Have you plugged in to any support groups? Long term success is a trial Just know your not alone. I am with the Toms River Ocean County Support Group. We have a large, encouraging group, with folks from all over, We even have a couple people coming from up near Piscataway, to our support group in Toms River, (the first friday evening every month, 7pm, Community Hospital, Route 37, Toms River NJ). We are also trying to get a mid month (a middle weds evening of the month) group offshoot started more north There are a lot of ladies with our group, that attend, that are at all stages of the process, and I would encourage you to come and touch base. Let me ask you some questions.?? -Have you had your vitamin levels checked? -when you do eat.. are you aiming for meals every 2 hours (5-7 meals a day, aiming for 10-15 grams protein minimum a meal?) Its **VERY**important to eat small meals throughout the day, to keep your body metabolism **fired up** so to speak? -are you drinking drinking drinking? Lots of water, staying hydrated? -is the exercise you do gentle, and is it something you enjoy? -Are you taking a vitamin suppliment? Those five things... vitamins, hydration, protein (80 grams a day at least), small meals throughout the day, and exercise... if you do those things, and in the right amounts... and you will lose weight again I believe. Hell, Im not a doctor. But SUPPORT is vital.. we are a upbeat group and we would love to have you come join us. Otherwise.. click and email one of us and we would love to provide you with some phone numbers here in New Jersey to network with. We have Melita, Jennifer, Dee Dee, Sandi, Nannette, and literally about 30 other ladies : )) Plus, Jack Martin, George, Myself (Timmy Ray) and others... its a super group. Dont give up. I am 14 months out and I just now saw (last Friday) my surgeon. I flew to Iowa, and drove, I have lost 199 pounds... and I am **PLATEUED**. (probably mispelled but oH WeLL) Getting under 400 pounds has been an odyessy that I simply havent been able to accomplish. So.. for *me*... I started at 601 pounds, and now im 402.. Officially. I was bummed.. but then my surgeon said dont give up .. go back to the basics. So.. I will work to up my exercise , and eat smaller meals more often. I already do a lot of water and vitamins and my bloodwork was excellent, so its one step at at time I guess. BE ENCOURAGED. Godspeed to you... dont be scared to touch base with your surgeon.... and if you are then have your doctor (primary care doc... ) do your blood work as a first step. I have the list of tests from my surgeon if you need to be sure you hit all the high points. IF we can help you...if we can assist or encourage you in any way..... yodel? Holler? Let me know? This (long term after RNY or bariatric surgery) is something we are successful at ONLY if we step together and work to encourage each other. Lets us know if we can help? I can get you some phone numbers of at least 2 or 3 ladies if you would like some sympathetic and encouraging conversation from others that have been there, from our group... if interested let me know : ))) Take Care Hugs Timmy Ray (PS... I am the Hubby of the Sandi (with an I) from this board... met on the singles board here on Obesity Help last February 2005, met in person in May 2005, and married in May 2005 : )

I think you might have made the first step towards change, you have acknowledged that you have fallen off the wagon. Alot of people fall off occasionally, the important thing is to pick yourself up and continue fighting for your happiness. Maybe a nutritionist can help, go back to the basics, your protein shakes and water. Goodluck

Please don't hate yourself. I know exactly how you feel though. I had lost 165 and then gained back 40. I went back to the surgeon. He ran tests and found the stoma and stomach stretched. Apparently the staples did not hold. So, it could be a physical problem. After mine stretched I was eating crazy and made things worse. It seems like alot of people have revisions. I had mine in October and lost the 40 pounds I have gained. It feels different though. I feel like I can eat more again but not nuts. Maybe they didn't make as small as the first time. Who knows. But please don't hate yourself. Find a support group. They are so helpful. Good luck with everything.

Thank you all for your kind replies. I am going to try to make the road trip to see my surgeon sometime soon. I'm trying to be good, but it seems like it's backfiring. And I can't find a support group near me. I live in Monroe Twp, NJ--near East Brunswick. Any ideas? Thanks again!

Hey Wendy - congrats on taking that first step! WAY TO GO! Go ahead and set a date that you will call your surgeon by - I am sure you are not the first person in this situation. It takes a lot of hard work to live with these new healthy rules about eating, since we have used all the old weight building rules for our entire lives! If you set that goal/date to call your surgeon by - it will give you a chance to take a few deep breaths and work yourself up to it. You must know that you are not the only one this has happend to - feel blessed that you strong and are going to do something about it, before all that hard work you went through is erased. If you can't find a support group near you - you have certainly found one here! Ask questions, read profiles - DON'T GO THROUGH THIS ALONE _ YOU DON"T HAVE TO! Try to contact local hospitals to see if they have any groups. I am not sure where Monroe Twp is - but Dr Abkin's office meets near Morristown/Florham park - and I know there is a group that meets throught Morristown Hospital. I wish you only strength and much success! YOU CAN DO IT! Take care, Sherri

Well, I called my surgeon today, but before he sees me again, he wants me to see a dietician for a few visits and get some blood work before I see him. I have to make an appt. with her first, and thankfully, the one he recommended is on my new insurance plan. Unfortunately, HE's not, so I wonder how THAT's gonna work when I DO see him. Now I have to fess up about all my bad eating habits coming back. We'll see what happens. Thanks again for all the encouragement--and I hope to find a local support group soon!

Hi Wendy, Just catching up on some of these posts and came across yours. Please don't despair and don't hate yourself. Come to our LapBand support meeting tomorrow (Wed) evening from 7-8pm at Drs' Abkin & Bertha 147 Columbia Turnpike, Florham Pk 3rd floor. It's a great place to talk and I overheard they'll be having a nutritionist speak and one of the doctors will join us for a while. You'll be back on track in no time... Regards, Tia

Thanks for the invite--what town is that in? I can't travel too far. And is it OK that I'm not a lap band patient? I had gastric bypass. Thanks again!