depressed and have been at a standstill for a while

I am very depressed because my weight has been at a standstill for a while. I really want to go have the surgery again. My surgery was 9/20/2004 and I have been at 252 since july. I dont understand what the problem is. The weight is suppose to drop off. I dont eat fast food at all. I don't eat fried food, I take my protein. I went my surgeon and told them i am now on effexor because I have anxieity attacks because of stress of my weight not coming off. I am on the verge of taking some diet pills as well. I am losing faith and I just want to give us and be like forget it. There are two people at my job who has also had the surgery. how can I be happy with them if i am miserible.Yeah I lost 95lbs but i did that since last summer and no more is coming off. yeah i wear18 and some 16 but i am not ok with that . I feel like I am going to lose it if i dont lose any more weight. someone please email me . i need to talk,

Akliah Hey there! I am from PA, but I am origionally from Willingboro NJ, and my family lives in Hamilton so I know Trenton like tha back of my hand!! I do have some things that worked for me when I hit my stand still...I will email you privately and let you know what worked for me if you want..I mean I can't say that it will 100% work for you, but I will email you...DONT GIVE UP!! I read your profile, you have faith in GOD..GIVE IT TO HIM!! REMEMBER IF HE BROUGHT YOU TO IT..HE WILL BRING YOU THRU IT!!!!!!!!! And you say you lost 95 pounds, like that was easy! GIRL YOU LOST 95 POUNDS!!!!!!! Look in the mirror and tell yourself that YOU LOVE YOU!! I am proud of the 95 pounds you lost!!!!! Email me back when you get the email I send you!! Jen

First, 95 pounds is nothing to sneeze at, be proud of THAT accomplishment. I think you need to step back and take a long hard honest look at what you're eatting. Go back to basics, protein protein and more protein, and tons of water. I know myself, at 3 years out, if I start hitting the carbs, the scale starts creeping up. Are you perhaps grazing without realizing it? Again, I know myself, a handful of nuts here, a piece of fruit there, it all adds up at the end of the day. If your doc can't give you any ideas, perhaps a nutritionist could help as well? Don't give up, you can do this, and I wish you all the luck in the world! Hugs, Linda

Girl I am right there with you. The heck with be proud of what you already lost if it`s not where you want to be. I haven`t had surgery yet but when I do if I plateau half way through I will freak.After doing something so drastic I would want to be closer to my goal weight.People didn`t seem to hear you when you said you`ve been at this point since July.I would start all over again with the original liquid diet and so on maybe that will jump start it.And of course ask your doc if he has had other patients that this has happened to. Good luck. let me know.

i posted this on the PA board....i think it might help reading it....i feel for you, it is the worst feeling in the world when you have gone through so much and it seems you are done losing weight...i read your post and felt your pain...i hope this post helps and gives you some things to thing about and maybe rengerize your desire. you are already a winner losing 95 lbs that is awesome in itself. i have had 5 surgeries in a year....i know what it feels like to regret this surgery and i know what it feels like to get the fire back....i wish you the best and feel free to email me....i am with you in spirit......feel free to stop by the PA boards and say hi............... this journey is about winning......it does'nt happen overnight nor does it happen everyday. It is about overcoming your weaknesses, the tool (pouch) will only get you so far.....you have to take back your life!!!!!! you need to break the cycle with food....end that comforting relationship which we have cherished.....you will grieve, you be afaird, your emotions will be all about you....working overtime as you try to cope with the loss of food. food is our friend, our enemy....that relationship is so powerful it will seem impossible to break......the best thing about this we know our weakness, how many people go through life and do not know their weaknesses or recognize their failures....alot more than we think, we have identified the enemy and being here means you are taking the steps to beat it and learn to have a normal relationship with food...do not fear if you are struggling....if head hunger is crushing you....all these things will end as you overcome them one at a time....time is our friend....time is where we will turn our weaknesses into strength......the journey is about education...learning about you and what you are capable of...you will see a new person emerge.....the strength you found hard to find in the early moments you look back and see their was strength there, you just were unable to recognize it....find the achievements you are making in this journey.....you might not see it in the mirror as easily as you will see it within you if you really look.....it is not always in the scale or in the numbers.....it is inside you...if you fail to see it you are missing so much, it is so important...it is the true victory in the journey.....winning is walking that first block.....winning is about wearing that old pair of pants that did'nt fit....winning is about looking out the window and seeing yourself at goal.....winning is about you and how you percieve yourself...if you can see that you are winning....the journey provides the hurdles that we need to jump....the hills we need to climb....it is full of fustration and pain at times and their is no way around those times....it is overcoming those times that we find success.

Akilah, the weight doesn't just drop off. Surgery gives us a tool. Nothing more. The surgery is one half of the solution and we are responsible for the other half. It is possible that you could have surgical failure. But in order to address that you need to examine your part to see if what or how you are eating is the problem. Did anything happen suddenly in July? Are you more hungry and eating abnormally large portions of food? Do you exercise? Do you drink enough? Taking in mostly protein, followed by vegetables? Do you eat meals or do you graze - i.e. eat small amounts of food over a long period of time? I would urge you to go back to your surgeon, and discuss the situation with him/her. They should be able to diagnose the and either treat the problem or refer you to the appropriate help, such as a nutritionist. Just DON"T GIVE UP!!! Irene

Hello Akilah I was moved to answer you, I have been fighting depression for a while at a standstil with my loss too. I posted earlier to a lady here on the New Jersey Board, and I wanted to paste it below (only because its like 1230am and I have the flu .. otherwise I would write a more personal reply. I hope that is okay? Basically.. try getting back to basics... its what I am trying. Like I say in the post below... small meals, getting all your protein, space out your meals, protein and vitamins first, drink lots of water, and gentle exercise you ENJOY : ) And come join us at the Ocean County support group ~~!! Hugs.. hang in there.. feel free to email me back and again sorry about the partly pasted reply. Godspeed Hugs Timmy Ray pasted portion below Hi Akilah ! : )) Have you plugged in to any support groups? Long term success is a trial Just know your not alone. I am with the Toms River Ocean County Support Group. We have a large, encouraging group, with folks from all over, We even have a couple people coming from up near Piscataway, to our support group in Toms River, (the first friday evening every month, 7pm, Community Hospital, Route 37, Toms River NJ). We are also trying to get a mid month (a middle weds evening of the month) group offshoot started more north, one weds a month in the middle at 7pm There are a lot of ladies with our group, that attend, that are at all stages of the process, and I would encourage you to come and touch base. Let me ask you some questions.?? -Have you had your vitamin levels checked? -when you do eat.. are you aiming for meals every 2 hours (5-7 meals a day, aiming for 10-15 grams protein minimum a meal?) Its **VERY**important to eat small meals throughout the day, to keep your body metabolism **fired up** so to speak? -are you drinking drinking drinking? Lots of water, staying hydrated? -is the exercise you do gentle, and is it something you enjoy? are you getting 30 minutes at a time at least 3 times a week? -Are you taking a vitamin suppliment? Those five things... vitamins, hydration, protein (80 grams a day at least), small meals throughout the day, and exercise... if you do those things, and in the right amounts... and you will lose weight again I believe. Hell, Im not a doctor. But SUPPORT is vital.. we are a upbeat group and we would love to have you come join us. Otherwise.. click and email one of us and we would love to provide you with some phone numbers here in New Jersey to network with. We have Melita, Jennifer, Dee Dee, Sandi, Nannette, and literally about 30 other ladies : )) Plus, Jack Martin, George, Myself (Timmy Ray) and other guys... its a super group. Dont give up. I am 14 months out and I just now saw (last Friday) my surgeon. I flew to Iowa, and drove, I have lost 199 pounds... and I am **PLATEUED**. (probably mispelled but oH WeLL) And I am still @ 402 pounds . Getting under 400 pounds has been an odyessy that I simply havent been able to accomplish. So.. for *me*... I started at 601 pounds, and now im 402.. Officially. I was bummed.. but then my surgeon said dont give up .. go back to the basics. So.. I will work to up my exercise , and eat smaller meals more often. I already do a lot of water and vitamins and my bloodwork was excellent, so its one step at at time I guess. BE ENCOURAGED. Godspeed to you... dont be scared to touch base with your surgeon.... and if you are then have your doctor (primary care doc... ) do your blood work as a first step. I have the list of blood tests from my surgeon if you need to be sure you hit all the high points.... and dont miss any (like if you have your primary doc instead of a surgeon..otherwise your surgeon will know) IF we can help you...if we can assist or encourage you in any way..... yodel? Holler? Let me know? This (long term after RNY or bariatric surgery) is something we are successful at ONLY if we step together and work to encourage each other. Let us know if we can help? I can get you some phone numbers of at least 2 or 3 ladies if you would like some sympathetic and encouraging conversation from others that have been there, from our group... if interested let me know : ))) Take Care Hugs Timmy Ray (PS... I am the Hubby of the Sandi (with an I) from this board... met on the singles board here on Obesity Help last February 2005, met in person in May 2005, and married in May 2005 : ) I move to NJ from Iowa for good Aug 2005