Need suggestions PLEASE...

I am writing to ask for help. My brother is in dire need of help for his weight issue. I believe he is well over 400lbs. Lately he can barely stay awake and i see his disposition changing from a person who is relatively happy to someone quite unhappy. We come from a family where we all struggle with our weight but unfortunately he has been unable keep his weight at a healthy level. I don't know if he will consider having the surgery but i want to get information regarding surgery options and I also would like suggestions on how to approach him about surgery without scaring him away. I appreciate any suggestions.

michele where are you im in nj i am useing dr bertha they have done over 3500 operations everybody loves that pratice if you want more info let me know jeff

This is a tough one. Espeicailly if you, yourself do not have a weight issue. I think people find it harder to get information from someone who is not suffering from obesity. It's going to be difficult to give you my ideas without knowing your cir****tance, but I will give it a try. If you DO have a weight issue, tell him that you are thinking of having surgery for it and that you don't want to go alone to a seminar. If you HAVE had the surgery, try being with him more, to show him the benefit of the surgery. If you have had it, I am sure he sees that your health and overall life have improved. Still, this is such a personal decision. I have a son who is 19 years old and around 350 pounds. I am truly concerned for his health. I know he has no intention of having the surgery. He has said that he feels he is too young to even consider it. I will, at some point, mention it to him. I know it is a risk, but I fear him facing the co-morbidities that will be in his future if he doesn't get this under control. I would hate to see him wait till he is 47 like I did. I have been through congestive heart failure, which I would hate to see him experience. It is very frightening! Anyway, If you would like to write and tell us a little more about your personal situation, and your brothers, it would be easier to help. I hope this is a start! God bless and best wishes Rossana 334/224/???

Hi Michelle - some day your brother will realize what a wonderful sister he has! Does he go on the computer? Tell him you are concerned for his health, and you only want the best for him and for him to be happy. Tell him you did a search on "obesity: and this website came up. Say that you can look at it together some night - when he is ready- and that there are amazing stories on hear of people who have lost weight, and been given a second chance at life. Not everyone one here has had surgery. There is a thread on the main message boards at the top by Amy Williams that asks "be honest" or something like that - that if I remember correctly addresses non surgical issues and may even have a link to a non surgical message board - I think there is one out there - you could search the forums. Having this surgery is his decision - you should make that clear to him - but tell him you want him to be informed of all of his options - whatever he decides goes - but you love him and only want the best for him. These boards are a great place to seach out all his options. I was dead set against my husband having this surgery - but we found wonderful Drs and I saw his success, and now I am blessed to experience mine too! Good luck -I hope I have helped a little. Best regards, Sherri

hello michele.you are not that far from langhorne pa ,maybe you can talk your brother into going to a free information seesion at the barix.this way he can see if this would be for him,tell him that its for his health and he does not have to do anything but listen.i wish you luck,and hopefully he will do whats right for him.bob

Your brother needs to be checked over by his PCP, hopefully he will get him on a plan to better health, check him out for diabetes, SLEEP APNEA, some good nutrition, maybe suggest wls. on the wls topic he will need a history of trying to loose weight ,seeing his doctor monthly, documentation, weigh in, goals, medication and recommendations made EVERY MONTH CONSECUTIVELY FOR SIX MONTHS to get approval. THIS IS THE BIGGEST STUMBLING BLOCK PEOPLE HAVE IN THE JOURNEY. I would suggest that he look at the "photos of before and after " of real people and read the profile of those under profile above. I am only slightly OB,bmi 37, I am fighting two insurance companies, Aetna and Tricare, with the help of my congressman, and my HR/Union rep for DS, that has a 98% cure rate of diabetes, they do this operation on skinnies in Europe to cure diabetes. Sleep apnea causes weight gain, and robs you of your energy every day, makes your edgy and grumpy and you dont even know that your loosing your friends ,been there, with your help, your brother can be his old self, if insurance wont do it, in Mexico, or Brazil its only 13k with the best doctors in the world. need more info, email me.