Not happy

Hello everyone I have a problem and was wondering if anyone else felt this way. People tell me that I look wonderful and I have lost 150 lbs. I do not see it. I do not see a slender person. I see how I looked at 300 lbs. I am not happy inside. I am worry that I am not skinny enough and need to lose 50 more lbs. I worry that people are lossing more than me and I am a failure. Will I ever be able to accept me for me? I feel that I don't look good and I am still fat. Any advice out there. Kathy

Hello Kathy I was wondering how you were doing I try to keep up with Dr. Iqbals Patients progress because i am also a patient of his. I would definitely say to get into some counseling as soon as possible, I personnally feel the same way and i have just started looking for a therapist that i hope will help me with those issues and a whole lot of others issues that i am having. I hope everything works out for you. Tyshea 315/200/150

This surgery wasn't to become "skinny enough". (What *is* "skinny enough", anyway?) This surgery isn't a contest to see who can lose the most. Do you feel better? Are you off of medications you might have been taking for high blood pressure or diabetes? Were you able to stop using your CPAP machine if you needed one? Can you exercise without pain? *These* are what the surgery was for. The number on the scale is incidental - it doesn't define you as a person, no matter how big or small it is. You might want to considering counseling - perhaps that would help? Good luck. P~ "Life is too short to wear sensible shoes!"

Hi, Kathy; I see that you're just over a year post-op. At over 2 yrs post-op, I can tell you that--just now--I'm BEGINNING to see myself as I really do look. I cannot say that I've had long periods of feeling unhappy regarding my weight loss, but much of the time I have not really "seen" my weight loss; like you, I have had a hard time seeing myself as anything other than a morbidly obese person. I think this is quite common, and most of us go through this. It takes a long time for the brain to catch up with the body. Maybe it would help for you to write up a list of things you do everyday and then really try to feel how you feel doing them at the weight you are now, versus the 300 lbs you were. I know that I now run up stairs, before I would walk slowly and my feet would be killing me. It's not a big effort to do my daily housework---I could keep going and going (but who would want to? LOL)--while before I made a million excuses to put off things. Spend some time acknowledging to yourself how terrific you feel, push yourself in ways you wouldn't have at 300 lbs and I'm sure you'll be surprised. You're not a failure, Kathy. The decision to have wls is a very brave and courageous one, and it is a fact that you've been successful. If your unhappiness is getting in the way of allowing you to enjoy the gift we've been given, it may be helpful to speak with a professional to get through those feelings. (((HUGS))) Julie

I attended weekly support group meetings for the first year, year and a half after surgery, and now I am seeing a therapist. He's helping me to lose my narrow perceptions of the world, the way I go into things expecting to be ridiculed or treated poorly for being fat, and help me to re-define what "normal" expectations are for my relationships. I believe I have to change my head or eventually I will either go back to overeating or pick up some other self-destructive coping mechanism like shopping or drinking. You may want to talk to a counselor. It is making things better for me. Jen

Hi, I also do not see "skinny" when I look in the mirror either. Guess it is in our heads. But then I go shopping and fit into a 14/16 and everyone tells me at work how good I look. Even some 14/16 are too big now. Can't even shop at the Avenue anymore. I went to some other stores and everything looks too young and skimpy. I'm only 41 but need something nice to wear to work. I don't have the same feeling about not being happy. I'm okay. Actually we have a Therapist that is now running our support group. She said it is quite common to have those feelings after surgery. Alot of people think it will change their feelings. They have a hard time dealing with it. So like another post said, maybe seek some therapy. Nothing wrong with that. Insurance should pay for it.