Need Support

Hi everyone. I am in the South Jersey area, Deptford to be exact. I have a surgery date of 10/27, which I already posted and got lots of congrats. Thanks everyone. I am very excited and happy and grateful that I am being honored to have this surgery and with very little, next to none, problems. No hassels with insurance, no problems with test results, no problems with the surgeon or the staff. Dr. Manigat is great and very sensitive to his patient's emotions. I just started this process at the end of August, after researching for a year. Here is where the sadness comes in. I have no family here who are of any help. My mom had a stroke and cannot drive and my brother has a chip on his shoulder about me for something I did along time ago and has not spoken to me for almost 10 years. My beautiful, wonderful, kind, and loving daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter (military Air Force) are stationed in San Antonio, Texas. I will have no one to be there when I get out of recovery. I'm not even sure if I have a ride to the hospital yet or not. If there is anyone out there in this area who can give me some moral support, I would be happy. Thanks, Kat

Hi Kathleen. I am in Westfield. I know how lonely it can be. My family (and my husband's) are in Canada. We have been here for 7 years and it's hard. You are so fortunate to have had an easy ride so far. Keep a positive attitude and call on your friends. Ask for what you need. Call me if you need to. (908)389-9395. Maybe you can arrange a car service ahead of time to alleviate any added stress. I bet there are people in your life who would help but you've never thought to ask. We are here for you. Use us!! Christina

Christina. thank you for your support. I have taken down your number and might just use it. I have called my friends and since it happened so fast (had the last doc appt. 10/18 and got a surgery date 10/27), I got excuses out the wazoo why they couldn't do it. Mostly, it's work. But my one girlfriend who I've known for almost 20 years said she couldn't do it because of her daughter (who is 12 and still attached to the umbilical cord). I finally got another one of my friends to take me on her way into work, which will be very early, but I don't care. I'd sit in the lobby if I had to for a couple of hours. Anyway, I have to pray to let all this go, because it makes me upset to think of it. I did call a taxi service in the area and got the details on reserving a cab for Thursday morning. Ya know, what we have to go through? LOL. Anyway, you're right, I breezed through the process in two months, so I am very lucky and if a ride is all I have to worry about, I'm doing good. Thanks again for the phone number. Kathy

Kathy! Welcome to the NJ board ! If you need a ride Thursday morning, I would be happy to help you. If you prefer a taxi service I totally understand, but I am within range and willing to come assist if you need it? I had RNY surgery December 22nd, 2004. I scheduled mine without telling my family in Oregon (because I knew they would not come :/ ) I know what its like, because I went through Christmas in the hospital with no one there after I came out of surgery. I made it... but it was desolate. I am emailing you my phone number. I have Graduate class on Thursday evening... at 430pm, but before about 3pm (travel time) I can be there for you... and hopefully you will consider adopting the Toms River support group, (it meets the First Friday of each month, @ Community Hospital in Toms River, Auditorium A at 7pm). We are a pretty upbeat gregarious group... and you would be a wonderful addition to our group !. My wife Sandi would love to be able to come, but she has to work early and wouldnt be able to get off , I know, my being a guy might give you pause, since you dont know me and all. However, I am harmless, I have had all my shots (well most of em :P) and the ladies here can give me a good reference. You shouldnt be alone going into this... even if you dont want a ride or would rather get a ride from someone else, please consider emailing your phone number back to me, I would love to support you as your friend and angel type person. Hang in there Your brother in Weight loss Timmy Ray S.

Timmy Ray, Thank you so much for your post. I can't even hardly believe that you would offer to take me to the hospital. Tom's River is pretty far from here. I'm in Deptford so I'm pretty much Southwest of you guys, I think. Anyway, what a kind and generous offer. I have finally found someone to take me and pick me up. I am also in a 12 step program NA and AA and my sponsor has made arrangements to drop me off on her way to work and pick me up the next day (if all goes well with the lap procedure). If it's a typical laparoscopic RNY, I should be good to go the next day. I will definitely give you all the phone numbers I have. The hospital is Our Lady of Lourdes 856-757-3500. My cell is 856-308-2897. My land line (which I rarely use) is 856-848-0051. Don't worry about using the cell phone, cause I have many, many minutes to use up month to month. I have been Not Telling many people about this, but as time grows near, My "give a damn" just broke. Because I realize in order to get the support I need, I need to let people in on what's happening. Many are discriminatory about it and many people just don't understand why I am doing this. I guess in their eyes, I don't look fat enough to go this drastic. It's not about the fat, it's about my track record of dieting starting at the age of 13 and going on for the next 42 years. Yikes, that's a long time. Most of my life. I know that not having anyone physically there when I get out of recovery will be hard, but I know many people will be there in spirit for me. I have a Higher Power to whom I have relinquished control, and I know I will be safe. The way it happened for me was a sign that it was supposed to be this way. I went for my first appt. on Aug. 29, two months later, Voila!!!!!! Surgery date scheduled. So, thank you again for your generous and kind offer. If I had not found someone, I definitely would have taken you up on it. Hope to talk to you soon. Are you going to be My Angel!!!!!. Love ya, Kath