Toms River Support Group

Well I finally did it and went. It was good and bad all in the same 2 hours. Nice group of people, interesting to see the struggles and triumphs of everyone, for me however it was a start, a start to changing my life, you would think that my surgery almost 2 years ago would have been the start, I thought so to, but I realized more than ever last night, that my issues that have created a life of emptiness and lonlieness, were never really the weight to begin with. So my plan? Well baby steps, I"m going to try to continue to go the WLS support meetings, it's difficult enough for me to be with people I don't really know, but knowing they have the same WLS struggles will help I think. Thanks to last night I found another group, that meets more frequently that I will attempt. I'm sure just like last night, it will be hard. Before the meeting last night, I beat myself up over what to wear, my hair was horrible with the humidity, the whole gammit of things I normally go through when new people are introduced to my life. Why do I care so much about what other people may or may not think of me?? Anyway, I realize my life long self destructive eating habit, which is somewhat no longer possible, has been replaced by NOT doing what I should after surgery. No vitamins, no excersize, eating CRAP (in little portions) yet none the less crap, so if THEY are all willing to still have me, Messed up head and all, I still think that the group will benefit me. Of course I say that now, if the fear of going back is there again the day of, who knows where I'll end up.. Ok another good thing from the group, got a couple of numbers, one of an LCSW whom I may end up trying to contact. Another HUGE step for me. It was so interesting to me to see so many people just being there for others, wanting the help them. For me, ASKING FOR HELP, is a major problem. Well i'm still recovering from the emotions of last night, i know to some it may be silly, but it's my story, and not going to worry about how others think of it anymore. If you want to read my posts, great, if you don't that's great too. If you tell me I"m being a baby, and throwing a self pity party for myself, it's your opinion, and I am going to do my best not to let those type of things stop me from moving forward, as they have in the past. I think I might find some great support if I just put myself out there and try to trust that there are people who are just there because they want to be, that I don't have to act and be someone I'm not to be accepted. TRUST is a big one for me... I have to stop being fearful of those who don't approve of me or my issues. Everyones issues are different, and none less important that the next. So thank you to all, and hopefully I'll be strong enough to stick around. Have a great day! Kathy

Dear Kathy, I just read your post and although I cannot make a Friday night meeting, I was interested to know where the other meetings are. I still go once a month to Englewood Hospital to my surgeon's group, but it is 1 1/2 hours there and the same back. Please, if you can, let me know about the other meetings. Thanks, Betsy

Dear Kathy, I just read your post and although I cannot make a Friday night meeting, I was interested to know where the other meetings are. I still go once a month to Englewood Hospital to my surgeon's group, but it is 1 1/2 hours there and the same back. Please, if you can, let me know about the other meetings. Thanks, Betsy

Kathy -- I was so glad that you joined us last night -- yes, we are the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful all at once. Isn't that what life is all about each and every day? I didn't realize how hard it was for you to take the step to come, but I'm so glad you did. I know I pushed you a bit, but I'm worried that you're not taking care of yourself, and now your post shows me that at least you are aware of what you need to do -- if you need a kick every now and then, or even a hug, get in touch with me. Send me an e-mail privately, and I'll give you my cell number. Reach out anytime you want. I'm here. Hope to see you at next month's meeting too! Hugs, Nannette

Dear Kathy, Please know that you will always be welcome at any and all meetings!!!!! It was wonderful for me to see so many new faces. That meeting was only my 2nd and there were only 3 other people I knew from the 1st meeting. I too have a hard time with new situations and meeting new people. I still can't make myself go to any parties or get togethers unless it's with family, but hopefully that will change as I work through the mental monsters of self doubt. I love the group so much that I can be myself and have no trouble talking or making a fool of myself, which is sooooo liberating for me. I know that they will accept me with all my faults. I think it's wonderful that you made yourself come and I hope you felt welcomed by the group. We all are in this together, we all help eachother grow stronger and we all accept eachother any way they come. I hope you will come to the next meeting!!! All my best and lots of hugs, The Jenster (Jen from Piscataway)

Kathy ! My name is Timmy Ray. Welcome to the NJ board. You sound like a really nice lady that has had her share of stressful times.... I wish that I had been able to attend the Toms River October meeting (most of the time I am able to be there but not October. Be encouraged. You sound like you are working hard at this whole process...know your not alone. I know its hard to trust, but the folks in the Toms River Group (and other groups) are worth it... trust is EARNED.. so I hope that you will come back again and let us slowly earn your trust. You sound like you add a lot to our group.. I am sorry I didnt get a chance to meet you. Life is short. I jump around and try to make people laugh... and act all gregarious... but 10 short months ago I was 600 pound plus... miserable.. without friends... snowed in (practically) in Iowa... confined mostly to a wheelchair.... lonely... and at times wished I wasnt alive. Seriously. So all the laughter and happy joy joy aside... I BEEN THERE. Know if I can help you, or if any of us can help encourage you.. or help you in any way.. just sing out. Again.. welcome to the board.. I hope you will post and tell us how things are going for you.... or share when you can. HECK.. even if you just come around sometimes and VENT... and yell.. this is a safe place to do that if you want. Have a super day.. I really enjoyed your post.. and hope to meet you at a future meeting Shalom Timmy Ray