TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL

I'm fighting with the decision of whether to tell my coworkers about my surgery. I plan to let my family members know the deal, but what about those at work? I'm a friendly person and well liked. I KNOW they are going to ask me questions about my weight loss. If I am completely open about it, I'll have to deal with critism and also probably spend more time than I wish, discussing the whole issue. But I don't want to lie about my decision either. Please give me your stories. (And please don't tell me that its nobody's business what I do. I already know that and it doesnt help my dilemma.) How did you choose to handle this?

I had my surgery on 7.29.05 and ended up telling co-workers that I had friendships with. At first I was not going to tell anyone but then thought why keep it a secret? I had a neighbor years ago that had WLS and did not tell anyone. She just said she was on a very strict diet. Even though that was true, I felt it was sort of decietful instead of being open with it. I have not had to discuss the "whole issue" with those at work but have been surprised by the support I have been given by co-workers. By the way, if you go out to lunch with these co-workers, they are going to know something is up when you return from surgery because you won't be going out to lunch for quite awhile! Good Luck!

I was fortunate because I had a coworker who had surgery a year + before me. I don't remember if/when she told people, but everyone knew about it. When I was preparing for my surgery, it was easier for me because people were familiar with it already and had seen my coworker's success with it. I didn't have to deal with many naysayers. That said, I got a new job post-op, and have only told two people there. I've gone back to visit my friends at my old job and they make such a huge deal over how different I look now that it makes me really uncomfortable, and I wish they'd stop bringing it up already. To this day, if people question me about not drinking with my meals, my portion sizes, food choices, or whether or not they should get the chef out since I obviously didn't like it, I just ask them to wrap it up to go and tell them I'm doing a modified Atkins, and/or that I'm fine because I ate earlier. I have other friends who had surgery who blurt it out to every waiter we meet -- I don't like that. It's none of his business. I would expect that everyone at your job is going to find out/figure it out anyway. If you expect them to be supportive, then go ahead and tell them now. If you expect them to be negative about it, then tell them after it's done and over with so they won't waste so much energy trying to change your mind. Good luck, Jen 266/152/140? 145?

Hijack Jen -- I've missed you at the last few meetings. Now that we are in Toms River, is it too far for you? You look awesome! I've now finished all my PS and am healing just fine! Hope to hear from you soon. Hugs,

I decided to wait until after the surgery to tell anyone at work. If anyone asked "wow, you lost weight, how are you doing it?" I tell them... "Oh, I had weight loss surgery" and answer any questions as brief as I can get them. Some just said "wow, you look great" and moved on... others are nosy and I had to answer alot of questions LOL! I didnt want all the "I know a friend who has a friend who died from that surgery" stories or "why dont you just go to the gym or diet" comments before my surgery. Nobody bothers me with those stories now that its over. Other than my boss and his secretary, no one at work knew about it until after. -Janine

I only told one person at my place of employment who is a very close friend besides being a co-worker. As I lost weight other people talked behind my back and made comments (which of course got back to me) like "she must have had THAT surgery" and "no way she lost all that with just a diet, she took the easy way out and had surgery". I ignored them and just kept doing my thing. One person actually had the nerve to come up and ask me, point blank, if I had had WLS. I handed in my resignation at the end of the school year (public school system) after I had accepted a new job that I had interviewed for in a private school. I haven't told anyone there that I had WLS and don't plan on it. The people at the new school never knew me when I was obese so I'm not worried about them making comparisons. This is just the way that I handled it. I'm usually a private person. (not even my whole family knows that I had WLS) This board is about the only place where I talk about it. Hugs, Kathy 5'3" 285/167

I didn't keep it a secret and still don't. I have gotten nothing but support, except from one person and it didn't merit a second thought. Personal decision for everyone, but it has changed my life tremendously and I don't mind shouting it from the rooftops! Whatever you decide, make it the right decision for you!

I told everyone at work and they share the triumphs I have and the down days I have they are all supportive and love it when I come in and say hey I lost this many more pounds. My boss says wow you are looking sevelt today. I love to share my new experiences with thenm. When I ate a salad at work one day they said wow are you eating real food now, I said I have been where have you been....I am sure they would be happy to share in your journey to the thin side of life. One of the girls weighs 98 lbs and she says I can't wait till you can wear my clothes! Ha!!! I am now 250 from 400 had my surgery in Feb this year and I love my new body. Good luck and May God bless you every step of the way...Hugs

BE strong and proud about the choices you have made to better yourself and your lifestyle. I was going to not tell anyone about the surgery but then decided that I have nothing to be ashamed of.I have worked very hard to get to this point and feel very fortunate to have had this opportunity. I am 6 days post op and went in today to visit a couple friends at work.I think a dozen people must have stopped me and asked about a hundred questions.I held my head up high and answered everything openly and honestly. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about the best decision you will ever make for yourself.

Before surgery only a few people knew . . . I didn't want a bunch a tom fool questions . . I was nervous enough. Afterwards I was shouting from the rooftops! I was proud of my decision to have this done, and wanted to be open to anyone who might have a question that was thinking in the same direction. Good luck!