Post-Op Bridesmaids?

Hi Everyone, I usually post on the Jan '05 board, but I am a Jersey girl & I'm sure some other woman or possibly man has had this situation & where better to vent...than a board where everyone understands! So, I'm in a wedding in the beginning of Dec '05. I had surgery Jan 19th 2005. So, as you can tell, I'll be almost a full year out by the time this wedding rolls along. Well, I went today for my "fitting" which I figure was just to leave some money, since why would I be fitted in my size now, when it wont be my size then & I'd just get a 16 to be safe (I'm a 20 now) . This woman INSISTED on measuring me anyway. Fine, whatever! Then we went round & round about what size to order. She wanted to order my current size (hello, @ this point if I stay in 1 size a month, it's a cheap clothing month..lol). I was not about to pay an extra $20 for a plus size, when i knew very well that it would HAVE to be taken in. Now, dont get me wrong, I have been a Brides Maid 6xs already & I am sure that every bridal shop hears @ least one girl say she's going to lose weight & wants a smaller size. BUT, I NEED a smaller size, not even a matter of wanting. I was trying to remain calm & polite and help her understand my situation, which she insisted she did. Finally, I was like..just get me an 18 and I'll have MY seamstress deal w/it when it comes in. She was not happy about that, but WHATEVER! UGH UGH UGH! Ok, had to vent, she really ticked me off! Thanks for reading & I'd love to hear if anyone else has gone through this Any other past post-op brides maids out there? What did you do?

I was not a post op bride but I had bridesmads from all over the country in my wedding. I got the color make and designer of the dress and I allowed them to buy from someone that was close to them. Maybe you just need to go to another store for the dress? Did you tell her how much weight you have lost so far? I would not let her order that dress for you if you are not happy with the size. Guess what you are wearing it a buying it not her so as a retailer she has to order what size you tell her to order like it or not. If that dress is way to big for you it will have to be totally redesigned,cost twice as much and look terrible in the end. You can usually wait till 4 months before the wedding to order bridesmaid dresses ask up to how long can you wait to order? Is the only reason for the fitting today because the bride wants it early for some reason? Good luck.

Annie: I had surgery on 1/25. I am in a 20 right now and am in a wedding in the beginning of October. I am not getting fitted for my dress until July. I will probably be a size 14 in October. If you order an 18, then what happens if you are a size 12? When is the last date you can order the dress? My girlfriend stated that if my dress doesn't fit, then I can wear another dress just bought from a store. I am the maid of honor, so my dress will be different anyway. What size did you start at? This is an indication of your pace of weight loss. Don't be pressured into buying a dress that you know won't fit you later.

No post-op bridesmaid, but a pre-op bride. I'm getting married in September and am having surgery May 9th. That makes my wedding only 4 and 1/2 months after my surgery. I don't know what to do with my dress. I'm trying to wait as long as possible before I buy my dress, but I don't know if it would really make a difference. No matter what i'm not going to be the same size.

I'm a maid of honor in a wedding next June (which will be about a year and a 2 months since my surgery). I've discussed with the bride my situation and we are going to wait until the last possible minute to get a dress--worse comes to worse, I get a different dress that I buy off the rack. You are DEFINITELY going to have to take that dress in and you will end up spending more money anyway (And don't get me started on having to spend more for plus size!!!!!!) I think you should cancel your order or get the size you feel is appropriate--she can't refuse to take your order. Plus you could make the arguement that they can always order extra material if there is a need (Happened to me last year where my dress didn't fit). Don't let her talk you into an 18--you know it's going to be too big and why pay extra to take it in??? Good luck!! Keep up the good work (Oh and isn't it going to feel GREAT when the size 16 fits or is too big??????!!) Good luck! ---Courtney

When I got married in 1999, one of my bridesmaids had her surgery 3 months before our first measurements were taken for a wedding a year later. I as the bride, told the bridal store that it was ok to order this one dress in a size 18 (bridesmaid was in a 26 at that time and they wouldnt order the dress in a lower size than that) and that I understood as the bride I would be screwed if she didnt lose the weight and stuck without a bridesmaid. I also signed a waiver that I knew I was ordering the wrong size and promised to pay for it whether it fit or not. They, since they "picked" a bigger size than what I wanted to order would be responsible for the alterations if it was over 2 dress sizes. Well... the dress came in and wouldnt you know they had to take the dress in to about a size 10??? They paid for the alterations because I was smart enough to have it written out on the contract. Get the bride involved. If she can't help, make the bridal shop pay for alterations if its way beyond the dress size you need. -Janine

Assuming you did tell her about your surgery, you might want to give her this website address so she can see the kinds of results people have at one year out. The other thing you could do is have your PCP sign a letter stating you had the surgery and how much you are expected to lose in the first year. Personally I think even a 16 is going to be big but taking it in would be better than taking in an 18 or a 20. Kathy