Re: WLS...Not The Easy Way Out

I have posted this before and thought it may help to see it again. Perhaps something will touch those who are new to the group, those who are trying to decide whether this surgery is for them and families and friends who think this is the easy way out or are afraid of losing their loved ones: To my WL Family, In reading over all of the posts every morning I can't help to be so proud and blessed to have had the opportunity to be involved with such a courageous, beautiful and compasionate group of people. I become very upset when I hear people say that, " this is an easy way out" or "use a little will power and you'll lose weight". Do they not think that we have tried to do this in other ways. It's not as if we have the operation and the "WL Fairy" waves a magic wand and the pounds come off while we just sit around doing nothing. Do these people think that one morning we woke up and said, "I think I want to become a food addict" and then we proceeded to continue to eat and see how much we could gain because we all love carrying 300 to 400 or more pounds around everyday. We also enjoy not being able to walk and take part in the activities with our family...husbands, children, grandchildren, parents and friends. Do they also think that we love all of the ailments that come along with obesity??? That we all sat down one day and said, "I will eat more today so I will develope more problems than my other obese friends or family"? This is not a game, it is our lives and I know if there was another way of doing this I would have done it 40 years ago. Oh, I could lose a little but when I gained it back I weighed more than I did when I started the diet. I can't help to think about that beautiful and profound Indian saying, before you judge me..."WALK A MILE IN MY SHOES". I want to thank my Higher Power that he has blessed me with a family that is very supportive of me having this surgery, but some others have not been. They have offered their unsolicited advice. To them, I say, "Don't insult my intelligence, my decision to have surgery has not been made without a great deal of thought, research, education and prayer". I also add that they are entitled to their opinion but please respect my decision...you don't have to agree with it but respect it. The infamous question I get from some people is..."aren't you scared"? Yes I am scared!!! I was also scared of spinal surgery to remove 4 herniated dics, gallbladder surgery, arm and hand surgery for nerve damage, surgery for endometreosis and 3 heart attacks were no day at the beach either. So yes, some days I am scared but I am trying to keep a positive attitude and hope and pray that when my insurance approves coverage for surgery (oh yea, jumping through these hoops is a barrell of fun also, I'd really want to do this if I didn't feel the need) my higher power will guide the hands of my surgical team and all those caring for me to have a successful, non- eventful surgery. I ask that for all of you that disagree with your loved ones having surgery, to try and remember how hard it is on those of us living the way we are now, and that the bottom line is that death is not a stranger to those *****main obese. WLS needs to be our decision and for me it was the last resort I can't go on existing rather than living...I have left my house about 10 times in the last 14 months, why? because I physically can't without great physical and emotional pain. I hope I don't sound like I am complaining, I guess I just needed to vent a bit...please just bare with me and pray for me that I am aprroved for surgery soon. Thank you all for being there for me. To all that are having surgery you are in my thoughts and prayers. For those that have already had surgery keep up the good work and believe me I know it must be work. THIS IS NOT THE EASY WAY OUT... but for some it is the last hope and the only way. 3-12-05-Since this postI have been approved by my insurance co.to have surgery. Because I waited before starting the process many years ago,I have gained so much weight that I am told by my surgeon that I need to lose at least 25 pounds before he will do the surgery. The reason for this is that the weight loss will reduce the swelling of the liver and it is safer to do the surgery. I am now on "Optifast," (Liquid diet program), which I will need to be on for at least 7 weeks. No food just liquid, 7 shakes per day. I am takinf this ONE DAY AT A TIME, sometimes..ONE MINUTE AT A TIME. This is a big decision, but what is the alternative? For me this is the lesser of two evils. In every surgery there are risks. we get into cars every day and how many peole are killed in accidents every day? At this point I believe that I am more frightened to not have the surgery. That does not mean that I don't feel fear, excitement & hope for a hopefully longer and healthier life. A life where I can live instead of just exist. Big Hugs to all, Fran (From Jersey) `

Fran, AWESOME!! My favorite part (that I am going to use in the future):"Don't insult my intelligence, my decision to have surgery has not been made without a great deal of thought, research, education and prayer". I also add that they are entitled to their opinion but please respect my decision...you don't have to agree with it but respect it." WLS is not the easy wasy out. I am 2 years post op, I have come along way but I still need to stay focused, which sometimes can be hard. Lots of luck to you and congrats on your approval! ~Kristin

Kristin, Talk about awesome, I just read your profile and saw your photo's. You my friend are absolutely stunning. Congratulations on a lot of hard work that you must have put into such a magnifacant physical change. I need to see and meet folks like you to give me the incentive to continue the work on my journey. Thank you so much for your response and your kind and encouraging words. Without the support of my extended Weight loss family I would not be able to do what I am doing...in trying to improve my lifestyle to live a healthier and hopefully longer life. By the way I just love your name. I have a 34 yr. old daughter named Kristin Marie. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I work towards my WLS. Big Hugs, Fran (In Jersey)

I agree with you totally been dieting since I was a kid. The doctor I had in maryland said I didn't need WLS but when we moved to NJ My doctor said he would help me everyway he could to get it and now that I have it I am so happy lost 60Lbs first month! Wow. anyway I love Nj. But I was scared too and wasn't going to tell any of my family but when I did they were so supportive. My husband keeps telling me I am still beautiful but in a smaller size. I have prayed everyday to be able to get healthier everyday. Hugs and love to you....

Lola, Congrats on your wonderful weight loss, keep up the great work! I can't wait to have the surgery and be where you are on the losing side. Welcome to New Jersey, how long have you lived here? I am glad that you like this good ole Garden State. Who was your surgeon? I love what your hubby said about being beautiful but in a smaller size. Isn't it great to have support from him. My husband is very supportive also. I know he is a bit scared but he supports me. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers and I will do the same for you. Hugs and love back at you, Fran