Embarrassed

Just started thinking about WLS. My initial thoughts on the process, the embarrassment I'm feeling just thinking about how I would tell my family and friends that I'm doing this. Has anyone else gone through this as well? Help, Nancy

Hi Nancy, I'm a pretty open person about things like this so I didn't have any trouble telling my friends and family. Maybe you should try to look at it in a different way. First, recognize that your friends and family, and the public in general, already know you're overweight - so there's no secret, there's nothing hidden there. Then, think about it this way - YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT. It's not something to be ashamed of, it is something to be proud of. If you present it that way, your friends and family should take it in that spirit and support you. Even learning about surgery counts as doing something about it. You are taking responsibility for your health; taking stock of where you are and researching your options. That's nothing to be embarassed about. We are our own harshest critics. Let go of the shame you inflict on yourself; I bet you would go easier on someone else - and I bet your friends and family will go easier on you also. Jen

Don't be. I was more embarrassed when I was weighing a wooping 400 lbs. I was at the end of my rope, when I came across wls. and my attitude was WHO CARES WHAT ANYONE THINKS. I was misable and in pain. Today I'm happy, and enjoy my life. those other folks who may have gave me a hard time, congratulates me each time they see me. and I feel so much joy. it's like I have a new life. For one, I didn't share my medical issues with them. I felt it was none of their business. and I didn't need their opinions. They surly don't share their personal business with me. They wouldn't tell me not to get a heart operation if I needed one, or a knee oparation. and I wouldn't tell them either. so why should I feel embarrassed? we all have some kind of health issue. others may have heart, skin, sight, etc. I had a weight problem and I got help. now I don't. I think it's a problem when we don't try to do anything about our health. I weight 180 lbs, now only 10 lbs away from my goal wt. My motto is "I may not be where I want to be. But thank goodness I'm not where I use to be." So change your attitude put a wide smile on your face and go for it, forget those who may have a negitive attitude. It only means something if you have a positive one. Best wishes to you hon. take care. **Hugs**

Dear Nancy, I know we are all in the habit of having to explain ourselves as a fat person I have done it since i was 8 years old. But now it is time for me and others to take control and to realize that we are the ultimate one besides god almighty who controls our lives. My famnily is in total support of my WLS as all of my sisters are also very overwight as well. With all that being said just hold your head up and tell them you have made a life changing decision and you hope they will understand and support you. if anyone gives you greif then simply say well we will agree to disagree on this. I have learned you have to just make yourself happy as when it gets down to brass tacks as they say you are your own best friend, best support system and strongest and best fan/ friend. I wish I had been able to do this 20 years ago when it came around. I was a single parent and was scared to do this due to the fact my x husband was not a fit father. So now it is my turn. I am having my surgery in JAnuary hopefully before my 49th birthday so that by the time I hit the big 50 I will be a diva!! I also have many health issure fibromyaliga, diabetic, new onset high BP, joint and back pain. I am 300 lbs and I know if I don;t have this done I will die before I am 70. I want to live the n ext hopefully fifty years and maybe have a chance at meeting someone to live out those years. I have apoligized all my life and tried to act as though my weight never mattered al the while my heart has always broken inside. So NAncy do not look back go for it and we can be the fab new divas in NJ next year. sorry for the lenght of this but for some reason I felt like shareing this with you. good luck and god bless. please stay in touch if you like Joyce

Hi Nancy, I commend your for your honesty and for taking the first step. For me, it was a very personal decision I made to have wls. Beeing overweight my entire life I am so ready to change. I was nervous and skeptical about telling my family and friends. But I was glad that I did. To my suprise my family is so supportive and my mom even went with me to the surgical consult. She is going to be by my side through my surgery and cheering me on 100%. My best friend, well, she wasn't too pleased with my decsion and was not afraid to show it. But she is starting to come around and even gave me her blessing just last night. This surgery has been around for a very long time and there are so many talented surgeons out there. There is nothing to be ambarassed about, you are taing a very big step to change your life!! Susan

I do believe we've all been there.My date is 10/28 and I still havent told my boss and the girls at work.You really made me think because I keep telling myself i'm just a private person,but thats not really true.Everyone at work knows my whole life story i'm an open book usually. Am I embarrassed? If so why?well that does it i'm calling my boss now!!! thanks for lighting a fire under my big butt you really got my mind going! May all your dreams come true~~ SharonBurch

Hello Nancy I told who I wanted to tell, just like I would tell who I wanted to tell when I had anything going on in my life. Some of my family were very opposed to it, my son (27) was very mad that I was doing this, my husband was not all that thrilled, but knew when I made up my mind I was going to do what I needed to do. My friends all said that I did not have to go through all of this, that I could just diet and exercise. What I heard when people said about diet and exercise was blah, blah, blah blah. My mom was the most supportive, she came to every doctor's appointments that she could. She went through a couple of disappointments with me as well as the joy. Just a note... I am now post-op 3 days (9/27/04) and I feel great! good luck!

Nancy, I'm 8 months post-op and have lost 100 pounds not counting the 15 I lost pre-op. I basically decided that I had a choice of either telling everyone, or telling no one. I opted for the former. The only person I did not tell was my 86 year old mother due to her own health issues. I told her about 2 months after my surgery. Some people opt to be less open about it, and that's OK too. It's YOUR body, YOUR decision, and YOUR business. Anyway, most of the people I told were very happy and proud of me for finally having the courage to do something about my weight. (I agree with what another person posted here...the fact that I was overweight was NOT a secret.) My immediate family, my primary physician, and my co-workers were ALL very supportive. A few people who were really uninformed about the nature of the surgery weren't too supportive but I figured they were speaking from ignorance. TRUST ME...even if you do feel a little bit embarassed about this you won't believe how PROUD and WONDERFUL you will feel after you've lost a lot of weight and people start telling you how great you look. I get that literally 20 times a day. I am so positive about this surgery I want to go up to every fat person I see and BEG them to do it. You'll be so glad you did it.