confused and scrared of having surgery

I'm very scared of the surgery. However, I feel that if I don't do something I will die like my cousin. Fat seems to run in my family. I don't know if this is the way to go but I have to do something. I gain weight if even I look at food. I must be honest, I have been on this ice cream kick all summer, mostly due to the heat. but I feel that I do not have the will power to lose the weight on my own, which is quite sad. I have been over weight all of my life. Part of the reason that I am so scared is that I don't know which surgery is the correct surgery to have, and if I trust any surgeon enough to tell me. After all you only get one life. My doctor told me that the band does not produce good results. so he suggested that I have the RNY laproscopically. I dont know, I had a few more test recently and I found out the I have a hernia on my stomach and he said it is something that will never go away. He also said that I produce too much acid and I have some type of gastric problem along with high blood preasure. The doctor prescribed a prev pac for me to take for the next two weeks. He also told me to speak to my surgeon but he does not think I will be able to have the surgery right away due to the hernia. I don't know, I guess I'm a little depressed because it seems like there are road blocks popping up that are trying to tell me that maybe I should not have it, which means that I will be fat the rest of my life. If any of you know the differences in the surgeries or have had the band, could you please respond?!!!!!!!!

HEY MA I KNOW HOW U FEELIN REALLY I DO JUST READMY PROFILE IN SEE ALL THE ROAD BLOCK THAT STOOD IN FRONT OF ME THAT I STILL KNOCKED DOWN IN GOT TO THE NEXT,, I EVEN GOT DOWN IN DEPRESSED WHERE I GAVE UP FOR AWHILE BUT I CAMEBACK IN STARTED OVER AGAIN WIT FAITH...... LOOK ME PERSONALLY I AGREE WIT YA DOCTOR IS SAYIN, JUST GET YA HERNIA REPAIR FIRST IN THEN YA SURGERY I MEAN A FRIEND OF MINE GOT A HERNIA REPAIR IN THEN HAD THERE SURGERY 1 MONTH LATER,,IT COULD THAT FAST BUT DON'T TALK DOWN JUST PRAY IN GOD WILL KNOCK THE PROBLEMS OUT THERE WAY......... I JUST FOUND OUT AMONTH AGO MY SURGEON HAD HIS LICENSE SUPPENDED IN 1987 BUT YET WAS STILL DOIN SURGERIES IN I FOUND THIS OUT BY MY FRIEND DOIN A BACKGROUND CHECK ON HIM,,WELL I REPORTED HIM IN HE IS NO LONGER MY SURGEON,, I REALLY BELIEVE GOD SENT HER TO TELL ME THIS,, CUZ SHE DIDN'T KNOW ME FROM DIRT SHE JUST KNEW WHAT SHE SAW IN MY PROFILE,, .... WELL NOW I JUST GOT A NEW SURGEON LESS THEN 30 DAYS IN HE SEEM COOL VERY NICE TOO,, MY FRIEND ALREADY MET WIT HIM AND DID A BACKGROUND CHECK ON HIM IN HE IS COOL,,SO I'M LOOKIN FORWARD TO HAVIN MY SURGERY AT THE END OF SEPTEMBER,, I TALK WIT HIM ON WEDNESDAY IN HE WILL BE SENDING ME TO DO A FEW TESTS OVER THEN THEN HE IS GONNA TRY TO PUT ME IN FOR SURGERY AT THE END OF SEPTEMBER............... READ MY PROFILE.

Hey Andrian, before you make any decisions, talk to the bariatric surgeon. Your doc may think you can't have it with the hernia, but the surgeon might say otherwise. So talk to the guy that is going to do the surgery. I wish I could alleviate your fears about surgery. But this is such a personal thing. I've had 10 surgeries in my life and will have my RNY October 3. So I'm an old pro I guess. I don't know if you are a religious person or not, but I know that what helped me get through when I was nervous was just imagining Jesus' arms wrapped around me like an old friend. It makes me feel calm and comforted. If you are not a religious person try imagining your mom or dad or aunt or best friend. At any rate, I'm very proud of you for searching this out. My brother had his 2 years ago and went from 367 to 185 in less than 10 months. He is now a new flight attendant for Southwest Airlines. Not bad for the 48 year old dad of 3 big old teenagers!!!!! Anyway, if you need to talk email me. I'm always here. My husband says my computer never gets cold. No kidding??? Anyway, have a great day. Andrea

Andrian I think this surgery is the greatest. I never had surgery and was fat my entire life. I had surgery June 9th and I lost 53 lbs. I am old 54 and guess what? I had no complications, no pain and at the present moment I can say I feel great. I was scared and even laying on the operating table ask if I could leave. I am glad I didn't. Do your research, go to support groups and reading every thing on this web site. Good luck and e-mail Kathy

Hi Andrian, I to had all the same fears you had. I even went so far is to back out of my surgery twice, once 5 years ago ten days before my surgery date and then May 12,2004 the day of my surgery in the holding tank with the IV in and I left the hospital. Well on June 30,2004 I had my surgery and it was the best thing I could have done for myself. Yes, I did have minor complication in the hospital that made me stay for 4 extra day's but all in all I did very well. I did not mention but I to had a hernia which I had repaired 3 times in my life and it was out again when I went in for my surgery. My surgeon said if it was possible to get to the hernia he would repair it . If not he would have to go in at a later date. Well all is well ends well, he repaired the hernia which was the size of a large melon. My surgeon started out doing lap but ended up having to open me up because of to much scare tissue from previous surgeries. I am out 2monthes and down 38 pounds and have never felt better. I understand about fear because it has played a big role in my life when I decided to have this surgery. I hope that you have someone to talk to that will be sopportive of you. I did which helped a great deal. My surgeon put many of my fears to rest the day I walked out of that hospital in may. If you need to talk or any more info on my Dr email me. Bonita

Hi Andrian, My name is Monica. Being confused and scared about the surgery is Normal. I have had a lot of different surgeries in my life and the open Rny was, by far, the one that really scared me. I started my quest 2001 but because of cancellations, not by me, I finally had my surgery 2/02. It wasn't easy. Being 325 pounds takes a little longer in healing. But, HEAL I did. I would say make sure you do as much research you can before your next visit with the Surgeon. I know a lot of people who had a hernia repair at the same time of GBS. I can say that I only had some REAL pain at home for about the first two weeks. My staples stayed in for 3 weeks and they were more of a bother than anything else. Maintaining the way of eating is like a newborn (that is how I felt). You take things slow and just keep true to the program. Think of it this way...If you didn't have any fears or concerns than I would be worried. Keep coming back and bring your fears and concerns here...there has to be someone who may have experienced what you may be feeling. Monica Rickards, Mantua, NJ

I had Lap RNY performed by Dr. Abkin in Morristown on January 12. I'm doing great with no complications. Like you, I thought seriously about whether I should do the full gastric bypass (RNY) or the band. The band sounds good because the surgery is less risky, it's reversible, and you're not permanently changing your anatomy. BUT...it's much easier to cheat with the band and the weight loss results are not nearly as good. Also, the band can slip quite easily. I did a lot of research, spoke to my primary physician. I finally decided on the RNY. My decision was confirmed when I arrived for my pre-op class and there were two nurses who had previously gone in together for the band, and now were once again going in together for the RNY. Check with the surgeon to see if the hernia can be fixed at the same time as your gastric bypass surgery. I think it's probable that they can do both at the same time. Whenever I got scared I looked at the before and after pics on the ObesityHelp website.