Has Your Relationships With People Changed Since Surgery?

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone: Went to my support group meeting this morning and since it is Valentine's Day, our discussion was about relationships with our spouses, family, friends & co-workers since surgery. It was a great discussion and the post-op's were able to enlighten pre-op's on what may or may not happen to relationships with others after surgery. My relationships with people have changed since my surgery. It was not anything I did to create a change in the dynamics of my realtionships because I feel that I'm the same person now that I was before surgery. It's the people in my life that changed as the result of seeing physical changes in me. Just wondering how all of you coped with changing dynamics of your relationships since surgery. Jesse 373/235/-138

Hello Jesse I haven't had the surgery yet, but I can already sense the resistance I am getting from family and friends just from telling them I'm just thinking about it. I can understand their concerns because it is a radical surgery and life changing, but it is ultimately up to me. One friend is against it, but will support me if I go through with it, and one just totally stopped talking to me because he is so dead set against it. Part of me feels that because we are the ones struggling, they don't want us to change. It could take the attention away from them. It's a selfish thought on their part, but thats the way it can be sometimes. I'm a young girl, 24, and when I go out with my friends, they got noticed and I don't. If I have this surgery, it could mean more competition for someone's attention. I don't know if Im wrong or right with what I just said, but sometimes it can be that way. Congratulations on your weight loss Jesse! ~Cara

Hiya Jesse! I think they have changed tremendously. I thought I was the same person before surgery but Im not. It was actually brought to my attention by a friend who was watching some old videos. You could see how miserable I was. Even in the beginning stages of weight loss, when I walked into a bar/rest/club guys would notice me, I would actually get nasty looks from women, I never did before. I was actually hating life because it was horrible that people were judging me because I was obese. Now I can see that I have a better attitude, much more self confidence, respect etc....I am living life!! ~Kristin

Jesse, I worry about this alot...I am pre-op working on a June date...but my hubby and I have a few problems now with jealousy and I am afraid he is going to get worse after my surgery because I will be changing and he is not nor does he want to. So time will tell what I will be doing but I will be looking for support throughout. Thanks for this post and congrats on the great job you are doing, you are an inspiration to us pre-ops!! Sue

Hi Jesse, my name is Sam. I am visiting your message board from Maine, I am originally and NJ girl and sneak in every now and again. I am schedualed for surgery on March 29th. I am very nervous about this very situation. I try not to think about it much because right now I am just nervous enough getting out of surgery alive and well. However, my place in my family has always been the "fat" one. Which over the years has made me insecure and reclusive. I know they are going to have a very hard time with me changing although I don't think that I will change much inside. I know there is going to be a lot of jealousy and even sabatoge and I am not sure how to deal with it. Thanks Sam