Wrapped up in "what if"s...

Hello Everyone,

As a new member, let me introduce myself.  I am a 33 yr old technology professional in North NJ.  I'm about 5'1" and weigh about 240lbs and have been considering VSG for about a year and a half now.  I've been overweight for most of my adult life and have managed to lose up to 50lbs on my own, but always wind up gaining it back and starting the unhealthy cycle again.

I've been considering WLS for so long and have not taken action because I am getting caught up in all the "what if"s of post-surgery.  I've done all my research and have spoken with many friends who have also undergone WLS with amazing results.  i have chosen a doctor who I feel comfortable with based on the experiences my friends have had. I believe I am a prime candidate for WLS due to many complications I am having due to my weight, but all of the possibilities after surgery are whats holding me back.

Believe it or not, I actually fear being "too skinny" and wonder if I will like the way I look post-surgery.  I am concerned that I may have way too much excess skin and will down a path of multiple plastic surgeries just to have a "normal" looking body (I know someone who went crazy with their body image and had multiple plastic surgeries).  Yet, on the flip-side, I am concerned for my health and feel that this is the best time for me to undergo WLS now while I am younger before these health conditions really settle in.  I want to be healthier and happier and more fit.  I love working out and last, but not least, I want to be able to stop shying behind my size (I tend to cocoon myself).

Has anyone else who has undergone surgery had these concerns?  How did you over come them?  Has anyone else around my size experienced problems with too much skin post-weight-loss? 

Welcome!  the Jersey board is somewhat quiet, so if you don't get many responses, you should try and copy your post to the VSG board....  
     I can't answer your questions about extra skin...  I'm 2 decades older... and lost the equivalent of your entire body....  so I HAVE some serious skin droopage,  It would seem that your skin will have more elasticity, and your weight loss is not so dramatic, it may be a very minor issue.
     Just pick one....  healthier overall with some skin issues, or fatter overall with some health issues...  hmmm, not such a hard choice!   (OK, I'm prejudiced...  WLS was a life saver for me)...
Good Luck, and I hope you get some answers from peeps closer to your age/weight! 
Mary C

Thank you for your reply MaryC!

I will definately post this on the VSG board.

You are right...  Healthier with extra skin is definately a lot better than unhealthy, fat, and out of shape!

I guess i just don't want to be part of that group of people that goes crazy with their new-found body.  I had one friend who went crazy with plastic surgery -- she literally would take vacations in Columbia on a yearly basis to get her procedures done cheaper.  I had another friend who went through addiction transfer and found herself depressed.  A third friend didn't know how to handle her new confidence and turned into a club-hopping maniac, drinking and hanging out every chance she could get.

I am hoping that these will be lessons learned through other's experiences and that I can learn all the do's and don'ts of WLS.  After reading your response I decided to call the doctor's office and make my first consultation appointment.  :)

I think the fact that you're not going into this blindly, waving rainbows and unicorns, and blowing strawberry scented bubbles out of your ass, is QUITE WONDERFUL!!!    You are aware of the difficulties others have had, and that is a first step against them occurring to you.  If you know about transfer addictions, body dysmorphia, etc....  you can be prepared to rail against them if you feel it starting!  You've obviously done your research, so I hope your first consult goes well...and the WLS you choose assists you in reaching your goal....  Good Luck....  and I'm SURE someone else will be reading the boards and commenting too!  Mary

i very much can identify with your questions...
i had lap band surgery in october 2011 and every time i hit a new weight that ends in 0 (like, most recently 240--i'm down from 300), my emotions get panicky and i think "i need to go eat".  but i'm learning to stop, take a deep breath and acknowlege those feelings.

yes, saggy skin happens...but you're young, it may NOT for you!  i'm 47...and i don't like some of it .

I am LOVING how much healthier I feel.  This translates to me being a much happier mom, wife and person.  who knew? :) 

as far as addiction transfer.  i'm not a drinker or pot smoker, so i havent had that.  but, (and this sounds silly), i do sew and quilt.  i had not done much of this in the last few years, blaming work, and life...but now i see that it was obese betsey being tired and grouchy.  so, i'm rediscovering my love of this.  addiction transfer?  likely!  but in a healthy way . 

only YOU can decide what is best for YOU.  I'm taking it one day at  a time. 

betsey

 Welcome!

Your story sounds very familiar,,,I, too, was obese for almost all of my life and, certainly, my adult life. I had RnY almost 9 yrs ago after years of serial dieting and could not be happier with my health and the way I look and feel now.  If you haven't already, I would suggest going to as many support group meetings as possible. You will meet people who will be happy to share their perspective; it's not always sparkles and rainbows but, for many, it is. 

Loose skin is a reality for most except those who haven't been obese for many years or those who are very young or lucky.  Many women handle that by wearing shapewear under their clothing. I couldn't stand it and had plastics (which insurance rarely pays for, by the way).  Still, I don't regret for a second my weightloss surgery.

Very few things in life are certain; there will always be the "what ifs". I am sorry I waited so long to have my surgery (I was 42) thinking "what if" I would have done it 10-15 years earlier. I think I would have enjoyed my life alot more had I felt as good about myself then as I do now.

Good luck to you on your journey!   Julie

Here's the scoop from my experience - when I first began to consider WLS I didn't tell anyone - not even my hubby - that I was going to the consultation. When I got there and sat through the whole presentation I was physically ill - I mean, what the heck? Cutting my stomach in half to lose weight? What was I thinking? It was horrifying. BUT - as the days afterwards went by I seriously began to reconsider - I was 50 years old and in the worst shape of my life - at my highest weight, about 250 (I'm 5'4") and depressed and sick of the whole dieting ups and downs and losing and gaining and depriving and binge episodes - I was sick of it. So, I made a deal with myself. I would start the process (it took over a year to jump through all the hoops) and try to diet AGAIN and by the time everything was approved and I had a date if I changed my mind then I wouldn't go through with it. Well over a year later I had only lost about 15 pounds, I had researched all the ins and outs - pros and cons - and decided I was sick of living my life the way it was and I was going to change it. Radically. So I went into the surgery very well educated, well rehearsed, and in the frame of mind that was healthy and determined. it's been almost 2 years since my surgery (April 29 2010) and I feel and look great, and it's the best thing I ever did for myself and my family. I'm healthy, I love the way I look and all the things I can do now, how active I am - I do not regret it for 1 second. Now, to be fair - I've had no problems related to the surgery other than a few low blood sugar attacks and some gas and diarrhea, I lost a total of 86 pounds after the surgery and since my highest weight its been about 101 pounds. I'm not as thin as I would like to be, but I am totally happy with what I can eat and how much.  I wish I could afford plastic surgery on my stomach - and I do have loose skin, but nothing the clothes can't hide.

I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

Cindy

 I'd like to thank all of you for your replies.   They truly were motivating for me and comforting.  I've since decided to have the VSG and my surgery is tomorrow morning!

Thanks again for the encouragement - I'm sure this will be a positive life changing experience!

Hope all went well!! Let us know how you are doing!!