from superhero to superzero....

seems i was on the right track to reach a cool much like everyone here. and i was almost there i can see it i can smell it,..i went from 395 to 195lb. God it felt good. no other feeling like it. i was about to walk on heavenly clouds,.. then i dont know " I just gave up, packed my bags, turned around,and said F-it." Little by little i started to eat more and more and say that i wasnt gaining any weight. So i ate more and more, felt like hmm im still 195, then 196 then 197 then 210 and on and on thinking i can turn this around anytime i want if i did it once why cant i stop and go back again. Now im at 270lb. said to myself well thats still better then 395lb. " thats my damn negative attitude" i say it and laugh to keep from hurting,. its getting so bad i cant control it. Its like that old DRUG has found me and refuses to let me go again this time around.
I need help i dont see thing endding up good. i dont see the superhero i felt like once, that guy that wanted to share with everyone  what he had done, so that the next person can feel hero-like too. now his gone with him his super powers.